Cassandra and Apollo (Maxine Aston)

[Guest guest]

Greetings:

I would just add my personal perspective. We are all unique and different and

we tend to love to put people in " groups " and " boxes " . This is how we are

raised and we do it like we breathe air. From the time we are little we begin

to notice how we are different from others.

I participated in an experiment in my sociology class last week. We were split

in 5 groups. Setting was 10,000 years ago and we were building an irrigation

canal. Groups were: Government; Architect's; Mason's, Maintenance and Digger's.

Prize was 10,000 gold coins. How do we distribute the wealth? Unfortunately, I

was in the Digger's group and it was horrible experience to be perceived by

other's as expendable and not worthy because of my label. It was a lesson in

social stratification which has always existed from day one. Why do I include

this in my post? Because we label folks and attach value to that judgment based

on what we think we know to be true. Many times it is thinking errors that we

have been raised or feed on.

EVERY NS/AS relationship is different as both parties are different and we ALL

bring something to the table including our baggage as I have never met anyone

who did not have baggage in some sort from childhood. How many books have you

read where someone said, I had the perfect childhood? It does not exist. It is

called life, and we learn as we go along, same as our parents did and those

before them. Then along the way, social norms shift. MORE CHANGE!!!!!!!! Life

is always changing. It was not that long ago that homosexuality was considered

deviant, a choice, a crime, a mental disorder, and now sexual orientation.

Autism will continue to be redefined as well as we learn more.

Is Cassandra a " real " disorder? Well, it is recognized in parts of Europe, but

then again they recognized AS first. Is Asperger Syndrome a real disorder?

Depends on who you ask and if the DSM 5 has their way, the title will vanish as

it morphs into autism under one umbrella. Social norms in the way we look at

AS, will shift again when we get more information from a scientific perspective.

Who knows what it will look like in 50 years from now?

Many women/men wrap their identity around " Cassandra, " just as some with AS

identify with the AS label. You don't have to understand it, but be respectful

that others might think differently than you or offer a different perspective.

It does not make either side right and the research on AS/NT couples has not

been published yet. There are several studies waiting in the wings. I agree

with Bill, have an open mind about anything. Check it out and make an informed

choice that is good or right for you, it doesn't matter what others think as not

everyone will agree with you on any given issue.

Some relationships are not meant to be for a variety of reasons. BUT if

communication & social skills are the hallmark (missing/or lacking) ingredient

for some with autism and a requirement for relationships, why would the NT

partner not be affected by it? I am NOT saying the AS partner is not equally

affected. AS is a family affair and everyone in the home is affected. How that

plays out is dependent on what support the family has, what resources they can

access and how they respond to it. Everyone is different.

How folks identify is a personal choice. We don't have to understand it, but

respect it. Cassandra has appeal to anyone in a relationship with an Apollo man

who functions differently outside of the family unit. There are many functional

people in society that are totally different in their home life.

Just my humble opinion.

PS: I am divorced and living with my AS ex due to economic conditions. My

daughter told me this evening some of her friends don't get it and she is in a

position trying to defend our relationship. We weren't marriage material. But

it has been 5 years since the divorce and we both have grown and moved FF.

Other's don't have to get it. Just us, and that is the moral to this story. We

carve out our own lives and do what we have to for survival. I think the

advantage Larry and I have is knowing we came from AS parents and what it did

to us and we both share one thing in common and that is our kids should never

feel this way and a bi-product of our special interest. They are unique and it

is our job to cultivate their interest.

But that is just us.

Just me and this is just my personal opinon.