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Re: Ups and downs.

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Tis late so this will be short. Forgive me but I laughed when I read

this. Throughout history and in modern lore, we read tales of brilliant

composers, artists, scientists etc. who always looked like a shambles. And

famous movie stars who haven't bathed for days. Clearly your son has no fashion

sense or body awareness (I once heard my late AS brother described by his doctor

this way: " he looks like he drags his body behind him like a piece of old

baggage.. " ) Consider it like total colour blindness (I have a friend whose wife

his to dress him) or someone with no sense of smell, or someone with absolutely

no sense of direction who can get lost on their way to the mailbox and back. (My

sense of direction is poor too, but not that bad LOL)At age 50+, I'd say this is

an intractable issue. He is not aware of how he presents to others, and it does

not matter to him in any event as he seems satisfied in his own company. I trust

that those in whose company you were with did not look upon your son's bad

grooming as a reflection upon you. At worst they may have assumed he is mentally

ill and felt sorry for you. At this age Dad, I would say you have to let it go

and accept that you (or someone) will always have to dress him for those times

it really matters.

take care,

Helen

>

> He's pleasant, good-hearted. He wasn't diagnosed until he was fifty. He

listens and agrees with suggestions for improvement. He is, or appears to be,

far more unfazed by a life devoid of feminine company, a life of rejection, than

I would be. He appears to be stoic about having a brain that is differently

wired, impaired or whatever the current PC description is through no fault of

his own. He does not appear to be frustrated by having a brain capable of

grasping technical concepts that are beyond me and most people that is

unemployed, under utilized.

>

> I thought i had seen signs of improvement. At some social functions he had

done very well, looking pleasant, not monopolizing the conversations and

listening to others.

>

> Yesterday I had an important social function and he looked like a derelict.

Unkempt, badly dressed. He probably would have looked okay if I had remembered

to specifically tell him how to dress, reminded him of personal care like

moustache and nose hair trimming but I didn't. He looked as if I had just found

him in the local wino hangout.

>

> Help!

>

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