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Hello, my name is Donna. I am new to this listserv. Only this week have I discovered that there is a strong possiblity that my husband has AS. It is a relief in a way because it helps me explain the difficulties we have had over the years. I am 66 years old and my husband is 69. We've been married 48 years and it has not been easy to say the least.

I came from a dysfunctional family: my parents divorced when I was 9, my mother remarried when I was 12, and the second marriage was rocky to say the least. Basically, I say all this to let you know that I grew up having no idea how a husband and wife should relate to one another, so I assumed our difficulties were my fault and I'm sure many were because I do have low self-esteem.

Knowing my husband most likely has AS unburdens me. I feel like shouting "It's not my fault!" Does that seem riduculous? I wish I could go back to the beginning of our marriage and start over, but since that's impossible I need help for the future. So many questions and thoughts are running through my mind.

Could someone suggest a book for me to read to help me cope with the future? Any help would be appreciated. I want the rest of our life together to be good-not just 2 people living in the same house.

Donna

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