Guest guest Posted February 13, 2008 Report Share Posted February 13, 2008 Hi , The first thing that pops in my head is to ask that he gets ensure instead of water/juice, etc. I'm sure others who have gone through this will give you some excellent advice soon. 94, wow! Your dad is still talking and eating? He sure is giving LBD a run for its money- Right On! - now that is one strong man. God bless him! Courage Refusal to EAT My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate very little and then requested they put him back to bed. Does anyone have experience with this? When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little conversation and pretty flat affect. Any help apprecciated. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2008 Report Share Posted February 13, 2008 We have been going through the not eating thing for a few months now with my Grandma. Hers was a little more gradual. Starting around thanksgiving she just started eating less and less to the point where now 2-3 bites constitutes a meal for her and thats if she eats at all. She is down to 95 pounds and is now too weak to walk. Unfortunately I don't have any real good advice about what to do. We have tried everything we could think of and she just will not eat. My only suggestion is that if your father is not being treated for depression you could see about getting him evaluated for that. If he does have depression that could be causing the loss of appetite and he might be able to get it back if they get him started on an anti-depressant. Other than that I would say just start bringing him foods that you know are his favorites, you eat too when you visit (lead by example you know), and maybe try things that are high calorie but easy to swallow like milk shakes or mashed potatoes with lots of gravy. Sometimes the only thing you can do is keep on offering food all the time. And if he wants to eat in his bed in his room than let him I'd say. I know thats not very social but if it gets him to eat than its worth a shot. Hope that helps... Emma > > My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner > yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did > manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him > they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate > very little and then requested they put him back to bed. > > Does anyone have experience with this? > > When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little > conversation and pretty flat affect. > > Any help apprecciated. > > Thanks > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2008 Report Share Posted February 13, 2008 hi there, i hate to say thsi but it sounds like your dad is putting his foot down, one of the few things he can control in his life now is eating and drinkingl refusing to eat and drink may very well be his way of saying i am tired it is time for me to go " home " they can live for several weeks refusing to eat, and i do hate to say this, but as hard as it is, you need to honor his wishes,.but on another note i would make sure there is no other situation going on, like an infection that make cause lack of appetite. sending you my thoughts and strength to help you thru this difficult time, hugs, sharon seanmhairx2 wrote: My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate very little and then requested they put him back to bed. Does anyone have experience with this? When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little conversation and pretty flat affect. Any help apprecciated. Thanks --------------------------------- Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2008 Report Share Posted February 13, 2008 First I would have your father checked for uti or even lung congestion. He could be feeling flu symptoms including nausea, could be constipated. If all those are clear, he could be starting another phase of LBD which may fluctuate from day to day as Lewy tends to, or perhaps is just giving up and choosing not to eat. Many here are struggling emotionally with a LO who is eating very little. We've discovered the sleeping with little conversation with flat effect stage could go on a long long time. My mom, about 2 1/2 years. It is painful to journey this stage if that is in fact what is happening. All the best to you and your father. , Oakville Ont. Mother, age 92, died Aug. 12/06 after 13 year decline from PDD > > My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner > yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did > manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him > they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate > very little and then requested they put him back to bed. > > Does anyone have experience with this? > > When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little > conversation and pretty flat affect. > > Any help apprecciated. > > Thanks > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2008 Report Share Posted February 20, 2008 My dad is at home with 24/7 caregivers and my mom. Mom's life seems to revolve around what she's going to fix him for lunch and dinner each day. The caregiver gets him out of bed around 1 pm for lunch--that's his first meal of the day--and then dinner is around 7 pm. Some days he will clean his plate at both meals and he always looks forward to an afternoon snack of M & Ms or something like crackers and cheese and his dessert of ice cream or cookies after dinner. He eats well most days. Some days, however, he won't eat anything (or if he does it's very little) for lunch or dinner. My mom worries constantly when that happens and it may last for a couple of days. Then it seems that he is back to his old self and ready to eat again. I can't really explain it, but on the days he doesn't want to eat he seems physically weaker--needing more assistance to walk and wanting to be in bed more. Then when he " snaps out of it " he goes back to being a bit more wakeful during the day, more steady on his feet, even feeding himself rather than having the caregiver do it. I try to ease my mom's mind when he has those spells by telling her that he's not expending much energy and so isn't building up an appetite, but it could be that he's just exercising control over his life (like Sharon said). I wish I had an explanation... Dianne P daughter of Bill, 84 seanmhairx2 wrote: My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate very little and then requested they put him back to bed. Does anyone have experience with this? When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little conversation and pretty flat affect. Any help apprecciated. Thanks --------------------------------- Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2008 Report Share Posted February 20, 2008 dianne daddy went thru on/off eating habits, and then he went thru sweets,hewould eat boxes of cookies at a siting and since he was not diabetic i figured some food if better than no food, but he did eat his regular food, could it be he is having trouble cutting his food, or chewing it or swallowing and is choking and may need to go to pureed foods, or like anything with lbd a stage that he will come/go out of it. how is mom doing with the help, is she able to rest more and is he treating her better since she isntthe bad guy, to make him do things he doesn t want to do. how are yu and tom doing, are you iwth your parents more now or still traveling a lot??? think about you often hugs.sharon Dianne wrote: My dad is at home with 24/7 caregivers and my mom. Mom's life seems to revolve around what she's going to fix him for lunch and dinner each day. The caregiver gets him out of bed around 1 pm for lunch--that's his first meal of the day--and then dinner is around 7 pm. Some days he will clean his plate at both meals and he always looks forward to an afternoon snack of M & Ms or something like crackers and cheese and his dessert of ice cream or cookies after dinner. He eats well most days. Some days, however, he won't eat anything (or if he does it's very little) for lunch or dinner. My mom worries constantly when that happens and it may last for a couple of days. Then it seems that he is back to his old self and ready to eat again. I can't really explain it, but on the days he doesn't want to eat he seems physically weaker--needing more assistance to walk and wanting to be in bed more. Then when he " snaps out of it " he goes back to being a bit more wakeful during the day, more steady on his feet, even feeding himself rather than having the caregiver do it. I try to ease my mom's mind when he has those spells by telling her that he's not expending much energy and so isn't building up an appetite, but it could be that he's just exercising control over his life (like Sharon said). I wish I had an explanation... Dianne P daughter of Bill, 84 seanmhairx2 wrote: My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate very little and then requested they put him back to bed. Does anyone have experience with this? When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little conversation and pretty flat affect. Any help apprecciated. Thanks --------------------------------- Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 hi holly, i believe a g tube is a feeding tube or that is what it sounds like, i dont know if you talked to her about her wishes, my dad specifically said he didnt want to be kept alive with tubes for feeding and fluids, this is a tough decision, but some of us in the group, had our loved one refuse to eat and we took it as their wish to let go. that is the last thing that they can control themselves. for the last week or so dad refused to eat or drink much, he lost 88 pounds in 2-3 months. i am sur you will get lots of different opinions but i would say, put yourself in her place and think of what you would want, and if she is still able to communicate ASK HER, i know this is a difficult decision to make, know that i am here supportng you and praying for all of you. hugs, sharon Holly Castaneda wrote: We just took my grandmother in to see her PMD yesterday. He was very kind and open minded about adjusting her medication. One on his concerns is her blood sugar fluctuating extremely frequently. One day she might be in the low 30s and by the evening she's over 300. We explained to him that she refuses to eat frequently, and when she does, we insist in having her take a Diabetic Boost to supplement her meals. drinking fluids have also become a difficult task with her. Her physician wants us to consider a G-tube. He says that its important that she gets adequate fluids and nutrition for the best control of her sugar and electrolytes and preventing septic shocks. She would still eat what ever she wants whenever she wants too, but for those days that she refuses...we would use her G-Tube. So we asked if we can thin about it, and we will respond to his solution on next 's week appointment Donna Mido wrote: Dianne, Don't we all wish we had some explanations for some of the behavior. I remember all the guessing I did. Sometimes I got it and many times I didn't Hugs, Donna R. Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in a nh. She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine. Re: Refusal to EAT My dad is at home with 24/7 caregivers and my mom. Mom's life seems to revolve around what she's going to fix him for lunch and dinner each day. The caregiver gets him out of bed around 1 pm for lunch--that's his first meal of the day--and then dinner is around 7 pm. Some days he will clean his plate at both meals and he always looks forward to an afternoon snack of M & Ms or something like crackers and cheese and his dessert of ice cream or cookies after dinner. He eats well most days. Some days, however, he won't eat anything (or if he does it's very little) for lunch or dinner. My mom worries constantly when that happens and it may last for a couple of days. Then it seems that he is back to his old self and ready to eat again. I can't really explain it, but on the days he doesn't want to eat he seems physically weaker--needing more assistance to walk and wanting to be in bed more. Then when he " snaps out of it " he goes back to being a bit more wakeful during the day, more steady on his feet, even feeding himself rather than having the caregiver do it. I try to ease my mom's mind when he has those spells by telling her that he's not expending much energy and so isn't building up an appetite, but it could be that he's just exercising control over his life (like Sharon said). I wish I had an explanation... Dianne P daughter of Bill, 84 seanmhairx2 wrote: My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate very little and then requested they put him back to bed. Does anyone have experience with this? When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little conversation and pretty flat affect. Any help apprecciated. Thanks --------------------------------- Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 The more I think about the original question the more I remember that when my dad was in the NH last summer for 3 months he had more and more times that he didn't want to eat the food served in the dining room. If we ran to Steak and Shake or Chic Fil A or brought in goodies from the nearby grocery store deli his appetite would pick right up! But now that he's home even for his favorite food, sometimes he just isn't hungry. You're right, Donna. We just have to keep doing our best to make sense of a senseless disease. Dianne P daughter of Bill, 84 Donna Mido wrote: Dianne, Don't we all wish we had some explanations for some of the behavior. I remember all the guessing I did. Sometimes I got it and many times I didn't Hugs, Donna R. Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in a nh. She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine. Re: Refusal to EAT My dad is at home with 24/7 caregivers and my mom. Mom's life seems to revolve around what she's going to fix him for lunch and dinner each day. The caregiver gets him out of bed around 1 pm for lunch--that's his first meal of the day--and then dinner is around 7 pm. Some days he will clean his plate at both meals and he always looks forward to an afternoon snack of M & Ms or something like crackers and cheese and his dessert of ice cream or cookies after dinner. He eats well most days. Some days, however, he won't eat anything (or if he does it's very little) for lunch or dinner. My mom worries constantly when that happens and it may last for a couple of days. Then it seems that he is back to his old self and ready to eat again. I can't really explain it, but on the days he doesn't want to eat he seems physically weaker--needing more assistance to walk and wanting to be in bed more. Then when he " snaps out of it " he goes back to being a bit more wakeful during the day, more steady on his feet, even feeding himself rather than having the caregiver do it. I try to ease my mom's mind when he has those spells by telling her that he's not expending much energy and so isn't building up an appetite, but it could be that he's just exercising control over his life (like Sharon said). I wish I had an explanation... Dianne P daughter of Bill, 84 seanmhairx2 wrote: My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate very little and then requested they put him back to bed. Does anyone have experience with this? When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little conversation and pretty flat affect. Any help apprecciated. Thanks --------------------------------- Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 We had similar issues with Millie. There were food days, water days, and sleepy days. One never knew which it was going to be. We call this ride a rollercoaster for a lot of reasons. It's the craziest pattern of events, with little to be done but adjust to the changes. As long as you don't have your own agenda, it is more manageable. Just keep posting to retain your sense of normalcy. Carol --------------------------------- Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Hi Holly, Have they tried anything to enhance appetite? The meds that are given for LBD often have a side effect of changing the flavor of foods or reducing the appetite. My MIL has been on Megace for a while now and is doing quite well on it. Patti > My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner > yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did > manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him > they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate > very little and then requested they put him back to bed. > > Does anyone have experience with this? > > When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little > conversation and pretty flat affect. > > Any help apprecciated. > > Thanks > > --------------------------------- > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Dear Holly, So much of the LBD journey with our loved ones is confusing. And it's only been a few days since your talk with the doctor. Please try not to stress your mind or heart too much right now. It would be wonderful if our loved ones could come back and tell us what they want. Instead, it's up to us to make the most loving decision we can based on what we learn about the pros and cons, short and long term results and consequences. Your doctor should be willing to let you talk this through with him/her, or refer you to a nurse, social worker or hospice center you can consult with. It's helpful to get as much info for your brain as possible, and also sort out your feelings. Did you read Sandie's message? Her decision may or may not be the one you would make. The important part is that her choice was based on love for her dad, what she observed he had gone through before, and what she believed he wanted. You might not know what your grandma would say if she could talk with you right now, but you do now how she was before LBD, what she enjoyed in life, how she lived that life, her favorite things, favorite stories, favorite sayings - all those memories you have of your " real " grandma will help get you in touch with her. I think Sandie also talked about setting aside her own way to do what would be right for her dad. Holly, nobody would be anything but confused in your situation. You might not know tonight what you will do, but you will when the time is right. You love your grandma so much, whatever you decide will be from that love. And I'm one of the people here who believe that our loved ones can tell - even inside the dementia - that we love them and will do the best thing for them. Please write whenever you want - we're here and we care about you! Lin Holly Castaneda wrote: Thanks Pratt, I been thinking alot about the feeding tube and honestly I have mixed feelings about it. I am very confused and I wish my grandmother can tell me what her wishesd are, but this week, she had manu hallucinations and she seems to be living in a different era. I am confused....... Patti Winters wrote: Hi Holly, Have they tried anything to enhance appetite? The meds that are given for LBD often have a side effect of changing the flavor of foods or reducing the appetite. My MIL has been on Megace for a while now and is doing quite well on it. Patti > My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner > yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did > manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him > they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate > very little and then requested they put him back to bed. > > Does anyone have experience with this? > > When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little > conversation and pretty flat affect. > > Any help apprecciated. > > Thanks > > --------------------------------- > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 Holly, I'm sorry you are having to go through this. We all have very difficult decisions ahead of us. I feel my MIL has been very blessed that her hallucinations don't seem to scare her. There are just many folks in the room with us that she talks to and can point to. A few years ago she told my husband and I that she couldn't go to bed, because the bed wasn't big enough for everyone. As far as food is concerned, her appetite started to suffer when she first went on Exelon 6 years ago, and additional meds have decreased it from there. She has not really refused to eat, but over the years has said she wasn't hungry, her stomach felt " icky " , or thought that she had just eaten. The Megace seems to be what she needs for now. We know my MIL would not want a feeding tube, and will follow her wishes when/if that time comes. You're in my prayers, Patti > > My 94 year old father in a NH refused to eat lunch or dinner > > yesterday...saying he was too weak,too tired, and not hungry. They did > > manage to coherce him into eating some breakfast today by telling him > > they would put him right back to bed after he ate something. He ate > > very little and then requested they put him back to bed. > > > > Does anyone have experience with this? > > > > When I go to visit, which I do daily, he is on his bed, very little > > conversation and pretty flat affect. > > > > Any help apprecciated. > > > > Thanks > > > > --------------------------------- > > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. > Try it now. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2008 Report Share Posted February 24, 2008 May I suggest the following book in regards to heroic measures: Hard Choices for Loving People by Hank Dunn " Whether the decision is about CPR, artificial feeding tubes, hospice, living wills, nursing home placement, ventilators or dialysis, these decisions can be difficult. We hope that this WebSite will provide some guidance through education about related topics like bioethics, death and dying, and the emotional and spiritual issues surrounding the end of life. " Download the 80-page book for free. http://www.hardchoices.com/ The book above was recommended to me by the nursing home where my mother lived. It certain helped us put our decisions at ease. We chose DNR & no feeding or breathing tubes & no heroic measures. My mother didn't have definitive choices laid out for us. At one time, when asked, she said that her sisters should decide. (*sigh* thanks for the help..) I remembered that she did mention some of her wants re: these decisions up to a year prior when she had shown me a document entitled the 5 Wishes (http://www.agingwithdignity.org/5wishes.html) but either the filled out document was lost somehow or she just spoke about it and never filled out the form, so we weren't 100% certain... I had this guilt about the decisions we were about to make... Being a Catholic (a none participating Catholic at least) had me wonder what the *right* choice was... but this book helped me put our choices in perspective. We chose quality vs. quantity. Hopefully this book will help you too. > > Thanks Pratt, > > I been thinking alot about the feeding tube and honestly I have mixed feelings about it. I am very confused and I wish my grandmother can tell me what her wishesd are, but this week, she had manu hallucinations and she seems to be living in a different era. > > I am confused....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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