SAD

January 19, 2011

Hi Jeana, I had to look back to see your earlier post. I don't have time to

read them all (busy group) each day. So sorry if things got out of hand some

way. I belong to several and this happens occasionally; replies to

an original post take on a life of their own, can get totally off topic or

back/forth with opinions and sometimes the original post never gets an actual

answer to any question.

Don't let it scare you off, it won't happen often!

The " rule out " - as I saw Roxanna comment (maybe others too) means that it's

suspected but not diagnosed (put simply) so would need to be ruled out at a

later date. Or it could be " ruled in " and he could be given the diagnosis. But

it lets others know (school, parents, other doctors...) that it is suspected and

needs to be ruled in/out.

Sometimes when there are traits of it but a child doesn't seem to fit all the

criteria, they will end up with a Pervasive Developmental Disorder-NOS

diagnosis. (PDD-NOS)

http://www.autismspeaks.org/navigating/pdd_nos.php

Schools generally accept this as part of the autism spectrum for using for

services. I can't recall if your son had any other diagnosis? Generally if a

child has at least one diagnosis that has gotten them an IEP, they are still

supposed to look at ALL the child's needs and give proper supports. Schools

differ (as we parents can tell you from reading others' experiences) and some

are really helpful, where some are more strict and want to address only the

diagnoses that are listed. Really have to " advocate " for your child then.

Heck, they can actually accommodate children without IEPs. But an IEP is needed

to get any services that fall under " special education services. " Like speech

therapy, occupational therapy....

If you feel your child has poor motor skills, you can request them to do an OT

evaluation for him and he could qualify for those services, get an IEP just for

OT. Each of my 3 sons (only one with AS) had an IEP just to get speech

therapy. Needed help in pronouncing words correctly.

OK, rambling, but don't be scared to post a question if you have one. Sorry you

had such a bad first experience!

single mom, 3 sons

, 21, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

>

> I am new to the group. My first post was the one about rule out as

> diagnosis. I have been too scared to post before, rightfully so after

> someone called it the prize to be had, the diagnosis that is. maybe I'm too

> soft but now I don't want to post anymore. I will continue to read and hope

> to gain knowledge but will not put myself out there. thanks, Jeana

>

January 19, 2011

Jeana,

Please don't shy away. You should take what people say with a grain of salt. We all have challenges and frustrations and can all use a sympathetic ear from time to time. Sometimes things can come across the wrong way and can be misunderstood.

I hope you will choose to stay and continue to post. We all need a little support, which is why we are all here. <<hugs>>ne

From: Jeana Boase <jmboase@...>Subject: ( ) Sad Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2011, 8:42 AM

I am new to the group. My first post was the one about rule out as diagnosis. I have been too scared to post before, rightfully so after someone called it the prize to be had, the diagnosis that is. maybe I'm too soft but now I don't want to post anymore. I will continue to read and hope to gain knowledge but will not put myself out there. thanks, Jeana

January 19, 2011

You are welcome to keep posting. It's up to you. I wouldn't want to let one person's comment spoil whatever you want to contribute or learn from the group. Many people replied in disagreement to that post anyway. I've been here a long time and people won't always agree or even say things nicely to each other all the time. I can say things wrong sometimes too. Or people take them worse than I meant it.

At any rate, you had a good question and it was worth asking, IMO.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Sad

I am new to the group. My first post was the one about rule out as diagnosis. I have been too scared to post before, rightfully so after someone called it the prize to be had, the diagnosis that is. maybe I'm too soft but now I don't want to post anymore. I will continue to read and hope to gain knowledge but will not put myself out there. thanks, Jeana

January 19, 2011

Things get said that people dont mean , we all have our bad days where patience just runs a little thin! I remember reading the persons post that said that to you , and responding , and i feel kinda bad because i probably shouldnt have stepped in and said what i thought about the situation( i had a bad day that day) , you got a bad remark from one person , and that one person got like 6 remarks directed back to her! Sometimes its hard too , to know how people meant to say things because its in writing and your not hearing their tone of voice ya know? I think all of us just need to remember , that we are ALL trying to help eachother , and learn from one another! There were a few women i noticed when i first joined this group , that i was like " holy crap this person is blunt!"

But the more posts from them i would read , and all the different sides of them that i would see , i quickly figured out that all the parents on here are just amazing people!! People will come and go from this group im sure , but everyone that sticks around will get to know everyone else's personality eventually , and everyone can benefit from this group , you say your too soft?? ....ok easy ...... go talk to Roxanna , she will toughen you up a bit if u want , she is seriously so smart and full of the BEST advice and i love that she is honest and speaks whats on her mind , i wish i could be more like that , and see thats why i love this group , because i do benefit from reading posts from parents who are maybe a little more tough then i am , because you do have to toughen up sometimes with the situation we are in!! And its NOT being insensitive to your feelings its just some of these women have been in this game for a long time , so

they just are being honest and just want to help! Sometimes i will see what another parent posted to someone and think " well wait thats not what im doing, "and maybe feel a little bit defensive about it , i get defensive for a minute in my thinking because i know i SHOULD be doing it !! 9 times out of 10 i think " CRAP she is right again!" lol But from reading a lot of posts about their story i realize we have a lot in common with out children and struggles we go through , and im not saying one person is always right , and to do whatever they say , but i am sure glad i joined this group because i dont know what i would be doing right now without it!! I look forward to logging on to my computer every morning , because i know i will learn something from these women, and that benefits my boys!!! I live away from my family , i have no friends where i live because we just moved here , so i was really lonely

before i joined this group! I grew up with 5 sisters , and with this group i kind of feel like i have a lil piece of that back!!! Good lord i wrote too much , i am so sorry you guys......this is why i cant drink mountain dew at 7 o clock at night!! , and sorry roxanna for puttin you on the spot like that , hope what i said about you doesnt offend you , i meant it all as compliments!!! but im sure a lot of women would agree , you are one of the parents that i will search for comments you post because you give parents a lot of hope and knowledge in your responses!! And that goes for all the rest of you moms and dads on here , ive learned atleast 1 thing from every single one of you!!! So i hope you dont leave the group, we all need eachother, i know i need all the support!! MeaghanFrom: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Wed, January 19, 2011 8:09:29 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Sad

You are welcome to keep posting. It's up to you. I wouldn't want to let one person's comment spoil whatever you want to contribute or learn from the group. Many people replied in disagreement to that post anyway. I've been here a long time and people won't always agree or even say things nicely to each other all the time. I can say things wrong sometimes too. Or people take them worse than I meant it.

At any rate, you had a good question and it was worth asking, IMO.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Sad

I am new to the group. My first post was the one about rule out as diagnosis. I have been too scared to post before, rightfully so after someone called it the prize to be had, the diagnosis that is. maybe I'm too soft but now I don't want to post anymore. I will continue to read and hope to gain knowledge but will not put myself out there. thanks, Jeana

January 25, 2011

Thank you so much for your kind words.

From: Meaghan Larson <meaghanlarson@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Sad Date: Thursday, January 20, 2011, 1:48 AM

Things get said that people dont mean , we all have our bad days where patience just runs a little thin! I remember reading the persons post that said that to you , and responding , and i feel kinda bad because i probably shouldnt have stepped in and said what i thought about the situation( i had a bad day that day) , you got a bad remark from one person , and that one person got like 6 remarks directed back to her! Sometimes its hard too , to know how people meant to say things because its in writing and your not hearing their tone of voice ya know? I think all of us just need to remember , that we are ALL trying to help eachother , and learn from one another! There were a few women i noticed when i first joined this group , that i was like " holy crap this person is blunt!" But the more posts from them i would read , and all the different sides of

them that i would see , i quickly figured out that all the parents on here are just amazing people!! People will come and go from this group im sure , but everyone that sticks around will get to know everyone else's personality eventually , and everyone can benefit from this group , you say your too soft?? ....ok easy ...... go talk to Roxanna , she will toughen you up a bit if u want , she is seriously so smart and full of the BEST advice and i love that she is honest and speaks whats on her mind , i wish i could be more like that , and see thats why i love this group , because i do benefit from reading posts from parents who are maybe a little more tough then i am , because you do have to toughen up sometimes with the situation we are in!! And its NOT being insensitive to your feelings its just some of these women have been in this game for a long time , so they just are being honest and just want to help! Sometimes i will see what

another parent posted to someone and think " well wait thats not what im doing, "and maybe feel a little bit defensive about it , i get defensive for a minute in my thinking because i know i SHOULD be doing it !! 9 times out of 10 i think " CRAP she is right again!" lol But from reading a lot of posts about their story i realize we have a lot in common with out children and struggles we go through , and im not saying one person is always right , and to do whatever they say , but i am sure glad i joined this group because i dont know what i would be doing right now without it!! I look forward to logging on to my computer every morning , because i know i will learn something from these women, and that benefits my boys!!! I live away from my family , i have no friends where i live because we just moved here , so i was really lonely before i joined this group! I grew up with 5 sisters , and with this group i

kind of feel like i have a lil piece of that back!!! Good lord i wrote too much , i am so sorry you guys......this is why i cant drink mountain dew at 7 o clock at night!! , and sorry roxanna for puttin you on the spot like that , hope what i said about you doesnt offend you , i meant it all as compliments!!! but im sure a lot of women would agree , you are one of the parents that i will search for comments you post because you give parents a lot of hope and knowledge in your responses!! And that goes for all the rest of you moms and dads on here , ive learned atleast 1 thing from every single one of you!!! So i hope you dont leave the group, we all need eachother, i know i need all the support!! Meaghan

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Wed, January 19, 2011 8:09:29 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Sad

You are welcome to keep posting. It's up to you. I wouldn't want to let one person's comment spoil whatever you want to contribute or learn from the group. Many people replied in disagreement to that post anyway. I've been here a long time and people won't always agree or even say things nicely to each other all the time. I can say things wrong sometimes too. Or people take them worse than I meant it. At any rate, you had a good question and it was worth asking, IMO.

Roxanna"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Sad

I am new to the group. My first post was the one about rule out as diagnosis. I have been too scared to post before, rightfully so after someone called it the prize to be had, the diagnosis that is. maybe I'm too soft but now I don't want to post anymore. I will continue to read and hope to gain knowledge but will not put myself out there. thanks, Jeana

January 25, 2011

I will call today. The counselor in his alternate hs told him to register with Dept of Rehab before he was 18, but he wouldn't do it since he "doesn't have AS". Thanks so much. I feel so alone since most posters here have young children. I'm so happy for them to have such amazing support!!!