Re: Introduction () change of dynamic after diagnosis

[Guest guest]

Wow, thanks for your reply Judy. I will definitely share it with Amy, but it puts her reaction into a little more context for me. I think I understand her reaction better. Funny you should mention how Ian got AS slap-happy and teen-like rebellious. I've really been having to curb the urge to do exactly that. I've been on a rebellious kick anyway, having recently quit my engineering job (a planned exit, with a severance package. Yay!), moved across the country from KY to Seattle, and looking at a career change, (and dyed my hair blue). The only reason I've been checking it at all is because I don't want to upset Amy further. It's already bothered her to notice the slight increase in stimming and other things; I don't think it would do her process any favors if I push it right now. Even so, I think it's more just a delay. I want to experience what it's like to relax that control, just be myself, and let the world deal with it. 

Now that I'm paying attention to myself more, I'm catching some of the awkward AS stuff I've been doing. I'm also noticing that Amy is already excellent at handling my aspie nature. For example, a couple days ago I forgot my earplugs when going out to dinner. I was getting stressed and my mood was souring. And Amy deftly steered the conversation into one of my special interests. With that to focus on, my mood recovered and the outing was saved. She's been doing that stuff for years. One of the many reasons I love her. But with knowledge, we can only get better. 

Last night was a perfect example. I said something pretty thoughtless. In the past, similar comments had led to fights, hurt feelings, and tears on both sides. And looking back, I can see why. But this time, Amy kept cool and pointed out what I had said. I was embarrassed and apologized. That was pretty much it. No fight. No tears. Just clarified communication. It was like magic. 

I know we've got plenty of work ahead of us in this, but even this little bit is so much better as to be worth it. Thanks again. I'll share what you wrote with Amy, and forward her reply if she has one. 

Sincerely,