Some of those partners *may be the cause* of - the triggers for - AS misbehavior.

[Guest guest]

Hi Becky:

I would love to hear Bill's take on this as well. I stand with you on this, and

that is not because I am NT, but that relationships are tough and there has to

be a give and take from both sides.

I just finished a parenting class and on the last day we had to share our

parenting philosophy. Has it changed over the years or after taking this course?

Lol The last thing I shared and this was just from my life was, " Just love them.

BUT it is OK to get frustrated and angry and wish they lived on another planet

or not wanting to be in the same room with them at the time. It does NOT make

you a bad parent, it just makes you human " . I would say the same thing goes for

relationships. You are not always going to agree and like your partner. There

are going to be tough times. It is how the two of you handle them and if you are

on the same page. Some relationships can weather the storms and others can't for

whatever reasons.

I would leave you with this. It is an old fable one of my professors ended his

class with. This is the jest. There once was a Lama that people in the village

hiked to see every day and ask him for his words of wisdom. One day someone in

the village thought they could get the best of him. They decided to put a

hummingbird in their cupped hands and would ask the Lama “Is the bird alive or

dead?” They wanted to test his knowledge. If the Lama said the bird is alive,

they would crush it and prove him wrong. If the Lama said the bird was dead,

they would open their hands and the bird would fly away.

The big day comes and many in the village make the journey up the mountain.

They ask the Lama “Is the bird alive or dead?” The Lama without missing a beat

says, “How would I know, as the bird is in YOUR hands?” I think this is a

great analogy of life. Will my marriage work or not? That depends on the both

of you as you hold your marriage in your hands. As Bill would say, " It takes

two to tango " . I hope this works out for YOU, and never forget how important

YOU are and you deserve to get your needs met as well and not walk on egg

shells. What are you getting out of this relationship? Is it enough? If not,

what has to change? What does that change look like? Where do you see your

self six months from now?

I am sending you cyber hugs and hoping you will find support here as you travel

towards the mountain.

Others?

Best as always.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi,

I have to say that I have a different perspective on this. At the end of the

day, my husband has a massive issue with communicating 'what he means'. It

always comes out differently, I understand differently and he gets frustrated.

With help from counsellors, we have got to the route of the

problem...............