Guest guest Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 Hi , We decided not to discuss mom's disease with her in detail because she was an all time worry champion her entire life. I think we really have to take their prior personality into consideration. However, she wasn't stupid and knew that something was wrong. I also think my mom expected to have dementia as her mother had it too. We tried to make gradual changes and always asked her opinions. Once your mom's disease progresses you will have less and less imput from her but I always asked myself what I would want done to me to help me make these difficult choices. Hope this helps. Courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2006 Report Share Posted July 20, 2006 As someone said, " We are are terminal. " We just don't know when. --- Iward27663@... wrote: > > > I hope medications will come about to keep LBD from > getting any worse for > those in the early throws of LBD. I know the part of > the brain that has been > destroyed is gone. > > When the heart has an Infarction, that part of the > heart is dead. If there > are many of them it spells heart failure. There is > no cure past a certain > point. > > I am referring to those that can comprehend are of > course the ones to give > choices with love. I realize my husband will become > totally unable to > understand anything in time, and that he will die, > either of LBD or his heart. But > then so does everyone else sooner or later from > something. > > We are here TODAY. > Imogene > > In a message dated 7/19/2006 11:35:10 PM Central > Daylight Time, > jchristensen1953@... writes: > > Not to sound discouraging, but the difference is > that > heart problems and lots of other illneses can often > be > treated or managed. The problem with Alzheimer's > and > LBD and other dementias is that once that brain > tissue > is destroyed, it's gone, and there is no way at this > time for it to regenerate. I doubt there ever will > be, but our only hope is that some sort of > preventive > medicine will be discovered that will keep people > from > getting this horrible disease. > > When the disease progresses as rapidly as my > husband's > did in the past six months to a year, he could not > even assimilate what the disease was nor what it was > doing to him, and he was unable to make any kind of > decisions. I tried many times to ask him what he > wanted to do, and he couldn't even remember the > question. In the past year, I don't know how many > times he would tell me to " get a gun and shoot me. " > > He knew something was wrong, but there wasn't any > way > he could have helped make decisions on how to > handle > his care. He was able before that time to sign his > DPOA, and we had previously had wills and living > wills, so we didn't have that decision. I don't > believe he even knows he's in a NH now. We have > lived > in this house for 23 years, longer than we lived > anywhere else, and longer than he lived with his > parents, but for the last several months he was > home, > he did not know where the bathrooms were, the > bedroom, > etc., even though he had just come out of them. He > forgot his address, now he doesn't remember his > birthday, his age, and certainly not any other > family > members, including me. It's as if there is a total > void for the most part; every once in awhile, there > will be a flash of something, but it is fleeting > and > rare. > > --- Iward27663@... wrote: > > > > > I have read many, fine, helpful, hints on here > the > > last couple of days. This > > one from you, Marie, is one that I really take to > > heart, because this is how > > I think. I was told repeatedly that you don't > give > > patients any choices. (on > > another List) I don't feel that way. > > > > I feel respect, love, reassurance, and the > patient's > > self worth should > > always be part of the care routine. Giving > choices > > and asking advice on what they > > think or feel about something helps them be a part > > of life, and it's > > continuation. > > > > My husband has very bad heart trouble. We have > seen > > so many advances over > > the years, which have come about just in the nick > of > > time, that we feel the > > same way about LBD advances. We know it's > terminal, > > now. But, changes can come > > about. > > We have already been there with the heart, why not > > with this? > > > > We don't put that hope high on our list, though, > > because of our age, and > > health, but don't give it up either. We live > simply > > for each other TODAY > > Imogene > > > > > > > > In a message dated 7/19/2006 9:47:36 PM Central > > Daylight Time, > > judd7052@... writes: > > > > , > > > > My husband and I have always workeda as a > > " team " ....of course, a > > mother/daughter is a different relationship but > much > > of the same applies....I differ > > from what many do in respect to dealing with the > > mental changes he has undergone > > during the past 6 years, but it still is working > and > > has gotten us through > > some tough days. > > > > I have had to call on every bit of pscyhology > and > > teaching, training, and > > counseling I have had in my background. But I > have > > made committments to him > > and myself along the way. 1. Never to lie to > him, > > play " mind games " or > > " manipulate " or ridicule him - talks about the > > REALITY of the situation, at the > > right times, is very helpful in him maintaining > his > > own perspective. 2. I have > > given him medical knowledge with things he can > > relate to that explain why > > the breakdowns are occurring (like electrical > > transmission wires being > > disconnected, fiber optic lines " crossing up " > > signals, etc) 3. He has confidence > > that I will never " leave " him....only help him > > through his battle and journey > > of life together (whether part time or full time > > care...that security MUST BE > > THERE). 4. I give him choices about as much as > > possible, even the small > > things of food,etc. 5. In talking reality, he > > wanted me to have a full power > > of attorney, which allows him to not feel he has > to > > take care of every > > choice. 5. I never try to convince him to > accept > > the " decline " ....we are always > > in the process of doing things that are subject > to > > show improvement, no matter > > how slight or debated by the medical world, for > the > > possibilities are much > > more powerful than the " acceptance " and much > less > > deceiving...it is what is > > REAL, TODAY for him. > > > > Sounds like you have a sensitivity for the need > to > > keep respecting your mom, > > no matter how mentally distracted she is...my > > husbands greatest fear when > > all this started was that people (especially > family) > > would consider him > > " crazy " .... I have come to recognize that he can > > handle far more than most > > professionals in the medical community feel can > > happen....and HE is still present with > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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