Re: OOopsie - Diagnosis for me

[Guest guest]

Becky,

I'm glad that you finally have some answers for your anxiety, etc. but I found

you were being very hard on yourself in this post. I don't know if that's

because suddenly having a mental health label now makes you feel that the ball

is back in *your* court or the mental health professional made you feel that

way.

In all your posts you have always taken responsibility for what is yours to own,

and you are very empathetic and respectful towards your husbands in your posts,

as you are towards all Aspies! Banish your negative judgement about yourself,

please!

Each of us is a little bit (or a lot) of *something* you know! Here is no such

thing as " neurotypical " which is why I like the term " non spectrum " that was

coined on ASPIRES by Meyer. We are all given something that challenges us

... no one is immune.

I love bipolar folks, you all are so enthusiastic, creative, warm, generous,

funny, inspiring, you have a real " spark " and lifts me up. My best friends are

bipolar.

Yes, there are the highs and lows, maybe someday science will discover and

resolve whatever it is that causes this neurological wiring to sometimes tip

into being a liability, but at least today the meds aren't so horrible. I

suspect that a lot of times, the key is good self care, taking care of body,

soul and brain!

I have friends who, once dx'd and able to manage their conditions, do return to

work and have a full life. A *huge* part of that is (drum roll please) learning

to take care of yourself so that you don't become exhausted, and crash again. My

friends all had the tendency (as don't many of us with complicated family of

origins) to not pace themselves, and to give and give and give when they had

energy to give. And then they would crash and burn. And when they felt better

again then they felt they had to try to " catch up " as if to atone for " lost

time. "

One thing they had to learn was to love themselves for who and what they are,

and not what they can do for others. Something we all have to learn.

cyber hugs!

Helen

[Guest guest]

> ..... Can anyone think of ways that I might be good for him, as I am feeling

like a big fat leech at the moment, just taking from him, and I need some ideas

of how I help him. One thing is that I do bring new and interesting experiences

into his life, which he would never do on his own, from buying a house, to

owning dogs, and horseriding, among a few things....

You've partly answered your own question there because we Aspies, left

to our own devices all on our own, take life far too seriously and get

ourselves stuck in deeply focussed activities such that we lose sight of

the ordinary world we've to live in. We become withdrawn and often

introvert, unable to participate in the community and form our own

friendships.

Sounds to me like you're the perfect antidote for someone with Aspie

issues.

And then there's another thing: If Jon is keeping you on the rails and

he knows he's doing that, then you're giving him a sense of purpose in

his life.

Why don't you try asking him what use he thinks you are to him? See if

he comes up with any of the same answers as me! But don't expect

answers immediately on the spot. Give him time to think about it for a

while.