Re: just been diagnosis and in a new relationship

[Guest guest]

I second what Judy says, and welcome to the list. I would also say that it

doesn't automatically mean that it's all from your side - that it's likely it's

also from your husbands side.

One thing I really like, is that your children have their diagnoses and know the

lay of the land, rather than spending years wondering what's wrong with them,

and why they are different, so really genuinely well done for getting them

tested and pushing that through - it's no easy task and you've done amazingly.

You're new partner might be dyslexic, and personally, I find that easier to

understand about AS, as I am dyslexic and my husband is suspected mild AS. I

find that I can compare his emotional challenges to my written information

processing problems. It sounds like if he has admitted his weaknesses, you are

in a (hopefully) good place to share this. It's not so bad, and it would help

head off problems earlier in the relationship, assuming that you want it to

continue.

But that's just my personal take on it, you will know best what is right for

you.

Becky

>

> Welcome

> Firstly, congratulations on your neurodiversity, and secondly, how great that

you now know about your AS so you can identify traits and to say 'aha!' because

it makes something fall into place.

>  

> In terms of explaining your AS to others, if it is helpful for you  being able

to understand yourself better, you can pick who needs to know and who doesnt;

although it hardly defines you as an axe murderer.....

>  

> Perhaps the thing to remember is that its not a bad thing to have AS, and that

many influencers, policy makers, artists and creatives have been able to do what

they do so well, because of their AS.

>  

> The good thing, is that you know, and can be supported to read up on AS, and

get the support from the likes of our good selves here on Aspires.

>  

> Judy

>  

>  

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: aspires-relationships

> Sent: Friday, 30 March 2012, 8:01

> Subject: just been diagnosis and in a new relationship

>

> HI

>

> I went to see a clinical  psychologist for some personal issues and he did

some testing after a few visits and now have been told i have mild asperger's

and in a new relationship only been seeing this guy a month he has told me he

has a reading problem can't read fast and write the best, i am 45 a single mum

and have a son with ASD high functioning and my 11 year old is ODD/ADHD and SRBD

and wears colored Lenses and Dyslexic.

> Just wondering do i tell this guy and i have not told my boys as i thought it

came from their fathers side and don't need any more problems from his new bit

of fluff have enough.

>

> Just wondering what your thoughts are i all ways knew things where hard at

school but just put it down to being lazy and hating school and other things in

life

>

> thanks

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

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> Some are the melody, some are the rhythm, some are the harmony

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>                       ...Sondra

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi ....

Glad you even have the time to run an autism support group. I understand how

challenging that can be from how much you must go through daily.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing by telling your boyfriend in " bits and

pieces " at a time about your life and all. Until I became involved seeing

someone who is a single parent of two special needs kids plus college aged

daughter (plus as guardian of three grandchildren), I was convinced I'd never be

involved with someone who is a parent (let alone of special needs children).

But, as I have been finding out, it's a " quiet joy " that I experience daily

because of the opportunities I have to make a difference in the lives of her

three grandchildren (not anywhere close to her two special needs teens, since

both claim they " know everything " and their mom " knows nothing " - which pretty

much ticks me off).

>

> > Just wondering do i tell this guy and i have not told my boys as i thought

it came from their fathers side and don't need any more problems from his new

bit of fluff have enough.

> >

> > Just wondering what your thoughts are i all ways knew things where hard at

school but just put it down to being lazy and hating school and other things in

life

> >

> > thanks

> >

> >

>