Guest guest Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 Hi all, before I start I dont want anyone to worry.I am fine and doing well, and really enjoy how things are going.But i was wondering about something and maybe theres someone here that can give me some advice. Alot of my time off of caregiving is 1 night at a time and I usually have to get back at a certain time the next morning.I was wondering if anyone has ever lined up some coverage for their lo, toulk a complete week off, left the picture completely and had no contact with there situation?If so has it helped with being able to refresh you?Im just curious, everything is fine here and Im doing just fine, and mom is doing well.I just wondered wether that is something that has helped people in the past.Hope all is well Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 Yes, Ron, I lined up a week of respite care for Dad at Brighton Gardens, when I needed to go to the homeschool convention for the weekend. They only did a week minimum, so I took Dad early and stayed home a day, then off we went. They were really super with him there, and I paid for a little extra attention in case he got confused. I made him a notebook with a calendar page showing when we would be gone, and when we would get back. It had photos of my family and my brother's also, as well as all our contact info. It was nearly as much paperwork as a mortgage, but the same paperwork would have worked for another respite visit also. It was not cheap, but I felt it was worth it. The convention fell on our anniversary, so an extra day was used for that also. My Dad was manageable once they got his meds correct. It was really wonderful to have a " week off " . HTH, Debbie in SoCal _____ From: LBDcaregivers [mailto:LBDcaregivers ] On Behalf Of dawgg4456 Sent: Saturday, February 23, 2008 11:48 AM To: LBDcaregivers Subject: advice about time off Hi all, before I start I dont want anyone to worry.I am fine and doing well, and really enjoy how things are going.But i was wondering about something and maybe theres someone here that can give me some advice. Alot of my time off of caregiving is 1 night at a time and I usually have to get back at a certain time the next morning.I was wondering if anyone has ever lined up some coverage for their lo, toulk a complete week off, left the picture completely and had no contact with there situation?If so has it helped with being able to refresh you?Im just curious, everything is fine here and Im doing just fine, and mom is doing well.I just wondered wether that is something that has helped people in the past.Hope all is well Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 --- Hi Debbie, Thank you for this. and I are planning a week off after the gathering in the mountains.I was just wondering what this does for a caregiver, one night here and there really keeps you locked in the fight and you never really get away.This is as good as I have felt in a long time and I know what stress can do to us.I just like to be prepared with answers.I hope your doing well, hey, is there any chance youd want to switch and send some California weather this way in exchange for some snow?lol Its worth a shot anyway.Have a great one Debbie, Ron In LBDcaregivers , " D.W. Lee " wrote: > > Yes, Ron, > > > > I lined up a week of respite care for Dad at Brighton Gardens, when I needed > to go to the homeschool > > convention for the weekend. They only did a week minimum, so I took Dad > early and stayed home a day, then off we went. > > > > They were really super with him there, and I paid for a little extra > attention in case he got confused. > > I made him a notebook with a calendar page showing when we would be gone, > and when we would get back. > > It had photos of my family and my brother's also, as well as all our contact > info. > > It was nearly as much paperwork as a mortgage, but the same paperwork would > have worked for another respite visit also. > > It was not cheap, but I felt it was worth it. > > > > The convention fell on our anniversary, so an extra day was used for that > also. > > > > My Dad was manageable once they got his meds correct. > > > > It was really wonderful to have a " week off " . > > > > HTH, > > Debbie in SoCal > > > > > > _____ > > From: LBDcaregivers [mailto:LBDcaregivers ] > On Behalf Of dawgg4456 > Sent: Saturday, February 23, 2008 11:48 AM > To: LBDcaregivers > Subject: advice about time off > > > > Hi all, before I start I dont want anyone to worry.I am fine and doing > well, and really enjoy how things are going.But i was wondering about > something and maybe theres someone here that can give me some advice. > Alot of my time off of caregiving is 1 night at a time and I usually > have to get back at a certain time the next morning.I was wondering if > anyone has ever lined up some coverage for their lo, toulk a complete > week off, left the picture completely and had no contact with there > situation?If so has it helped with being able to refresh you?Im just > curious, everything is fine here and Im doing just fine, and mom is > doing well.I just wondered wether that is something that has helped > people in the past.Hope all is well Ron > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 Hi Ron, I would go once a year for a week on vacation and I would leave Jim in Assisted Living for respite. It worked out well for me and when I got back I was refreshed. I have also hired a caregiver for a few nights to stay in the house, so I could have respite. I had no family support that would ever help, so I took respite wherever I could. The once a year for a week was always needed badly............Jan advice about time off Hi all, before I start I dont want anyone to worry.I am fine and doing well, and really enjoy how things are going.But i was wondering about something and maybe theres someone here that can give me some advice. Alot of my time off of caregiving is 1 night at a time and I usually have to get back at a certain time the next morning.I was wondering if anyone has ever lined up some coverage for their lo, toulk a complete week off, left the picture completely and had no contact with there situation?If so has it helped with being able to refresh you?Im just curious, everything is fine here and Im doing just fine, and mom is doing well.I just wondered wether that is something that has helped people in the past.Hope all is well Ron Welcome to LBDcaregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 Ron, I don't normally post, but read all the post. My mom is 68 and lives with my husband, myself and our 3 children. Recently due to a medication complication she spent one week in the hospital and 2 weeks at a rehab center. I love mom and will do anything to take care of her, but those 3 weeks really helped me relax, have family time and regroup. When she came home not only was she better, but so was I. The next few weeks should be interesting in that we just bought a new house and are going to be going through the moving process. Well hope all is well and you do get to take a break, we all need one once in a while. Take Care etta dawgg4456 wrote: Hi all, before I start I dont want anyone to worry.I am fine and doing well, and really enjoy how things are going.But i was wondering about something and maybe theres someone here that can give me some advice. Alot of my time off of caregiving is 1 night at a time and I usually have to get back at a certain time the next morning.I was wondering if anyone has ever lined up some coverage for their lo, toulk a complete week off, left the picture completely and had no contact with there situation?If so has it helped with being able to refresh you?Im just curious, everything is fine here and Im doing just fine, and mom is doing well.I just wondered wether that is something that has helped people in the past.Hope all is well Ron --------------------------------- Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 Dear Ron, Good to know you are okay - thanks for the reassurance up front. My decision stunned my partner, friends and even myself, but for the first time in 5 years I actually left my mom for more than a day. I took nearly a week and left her with two trusted 12-hour-per-day caregivers. I felt guilty planning the away time, guilty telling her I was going, and walking out the door - and on occasion while I was away. I did not sever connections totally: I don't think I could handle not hearing her voice for that long, and she is " with it " sufficiently to worry beyond reason at no contact. So the CGs reported in each shift via my cell and I called Mom most evenings. She can't sustain long conversations, but I think that reassured both of us. So being away was a wrench . . . BUT we both survived, and although I was fearful, it was the best thing I have done in a long while. Now I realize that stepping away - if only for a day or two once in a while - will probably be a big help. Most importantly, I learned Mom would be okay without my near-constant presence and she remained comfortable and pretty much relaxed. (Actually a surprise, as she tends to be quite emotional.) It taught me I'm not the absolutely only one who can take care of her - and for me that's quite a relief to have learned. So if you are thinking of a short break, I can witness that it's possible, survivable and actually pretty enjoyable. Please keep us posted about this. Regards to you ALL, Lin " J. K. Sheba " wrote: Ron, I don't normally post, but read all the post. My mom is 68 and lives with my husband, myself and our 3 children. Recently due to a medication complication she spent one week in the hospital and 2 weeks at a rehab center. I love mom and will do anything to take care of her, but those 3 weeks really helped me relax, have family time and regroup. When she came home not only was she better, but so was I. The next few weeks should be interesting in that we just bought a new house and are going to be going through the moving process. Well hope all is well and you do get to take a break, we all need one once in a while. Take Care etta dawgg4456 wrote: Hi all, before I start I dont want anyone to worry.I am fine and doing well, and really enjoy how things are going.But i was wondering about something and maybe theres someone here that can give me some advice. Alot of my time off of caregiving is 1 night at a time and I usually have to get back at a certain time the next morning.I was wondering if anyone has ever lined up some coverage for their lo, toulk a complete week off, left the picture completely and had no contact with there situation?If so has it helped with being able to refresh you?Im just curious, everything is fine here and Im doing just fine, and mom is doing well.I just wondered wether that is something that has helped people in the past.Hope all is well Ron --------------------------------- Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 lin, i know what you mean about taking breaks whether a week or a day or just an afternoon, nothing wrong with checking in, dad and i did, by singing you are my sunshine to each othere, even when i was in the hosp. when i was up to it i would call him and barely audible but still sang t to him. glad you got some time off to regroup hugs, sharon l pratt wrote: Dear Ron, Good to know you are okay - thanks for the reassurance up front. My decision stunned my partner, friends and even myself, but for the first time in 5 years I actually left my mom for more than a day. I took nearly a week and left her with two trusted 12-hour-per-day caregivers. I felt guilty planning the away time, guilty telling her I was going, and walking out the door - and on occasion while I was away. I did not sever connections totally: I don't think I could handle not hearing her voice for that long, and she is " with it " sufficiently to worry beyond reason at no contact. So the CGs reported in each shift via my cell and I called Mom most evenings. She can't sustain long conversations, but I think that reassured both of us. So being away was a wrench . . . BUT we both survived, and although I was fearful, it was the best thing I have done in a long while. Now I realize that stepping away - if only for a day or two once in a while - will probably be a big help. Most importantly, I learned Mom would be okay without my near-constant presence and she remained comfortable and pretty much relaxed. (Actually a surprise, as she tends to be quite emotional.) It taught me I'm not the absolutely only one who can take care of her - and for me that's quite a relief to have learned. So if you are thinking of a short break, I can witness that it's possible, survivable and actually pretty enjoyable. Please keep us posted about this. Regards to you ALL, Lin " J. K. Sheba " wrote: Ron, I don't normally post, but read all the post. My mom is 68 and lives with my husband, myself and our 3 children. Recently due to a medication complication she spent one week in the hospital and 2 weeks at a rehab center. I love mom and will do anything to take care of her, but those 3 weeks really helped me relax, have family time and regroup. When she came home not only was she better, but so was I. The next few weeks should be interesting in that we just bought a new house and are going to be going through the moving process. Well hope all is well and you do get to take a break, we all need one once in a while. Take Care etta dawgg4456 wrote: Hi all, before I start I dont want anyone to worry.I am fine and doing well, and really enjoy how things are going.But i was wondering about something and maybe theres someone here that can give me some advice. Alot of my time off of caregiving is 1 night at a time and I usually have to get back at a certain time the next morning.I was wondering if anyone has ever lined up some coverage for their lo, toulk a complete week off, left the picture completely and had no contact with there situation?If so has it helped with being able to refresh you?Im just curious, everything is fine here and Im doing just fine, and mom is doing well.I just wondered wether that is something that has helped people in the past.Hope all is well Ron --------------------------------- Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 ron, i see that many here, didnt check in, i did, but i had paid caregivers in my house staying with dad, i didnt have family staying here, but my dads halluciantions would go crazy if he didnt talk to me once a day, so when donnie and i went on our honey moon on our first anniversary we went to orlando and everything there, but i still called, reassurance for both of us, cgs always told me he slept better at night if i called, one night i forgot we were indulging in some champagne and the cg said daddy was upset all nite long and we had our cell phones turned off, after that i didnt make that mistake for him again, i didnt want him to stress out and give the caretakers a fit again, the one he had the fit on, quit when we came back, i had 2 cg who alrernated ever other 24 hour period. they decided to do 24 hour shifts instead of 12 hour shifts. good luck hugs sharon dawgg4456 wrote: Hi all, before I start I dont want anyone to worry.I am fine and doing well, and really enjoy how things are going.But i was wondering about something and maybe theres someone here that can give me some advice. Alot of my time off of caregiving is 1 night at a time and I usually have to get back at a certain time the next morning.I was wondering if anyone has ever lined up some coverage for their lo, toulk a complete week off, left the picture completely and had no contact with there situation?If so has it helped with being able to refresh you?Im just curious, everything is fine here and Im doing just fine, and mom is doing well.I just wondered wether that is something that has helped people in the past.Hope all is well Ron --------------------------------- Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2008 Report Share Posted February 24, 2008 I really didn't have much to offer here. We haven't left my MIL more than overnight once and we left her with my SIL. Any time we have to plan time away (rarely) we make sure my SIL or her daughter can be here to take our place. Engles SEIU-UHW Shop Steward ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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