Guest guest Posted September 21, 1999 Report Share Posted September 21, 1999 This gave me a chuckle... Mark ----Original Message Follows---- > > >The Empire Strikes Back: Extra-Special Edition > > >----------------------------------------------- > > > > > >INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER: > > > > > >A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing >LUKE > > >SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. > > > > > >A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning >off > > >into the ventilation shaft. > > > > > >Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to > >go > > >but straight down. > > > > > >Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father. > > > > > >Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him! > > > > > >Darth Vader: No... I am your father! > > > > > >Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible. > > > > > >Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true... > > > > > >Luke: NO! > > > > > >Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know > >that > > >brass droid of yours? > > > > > >Luke: Threepio? > > > > > >Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 >years > >old... > > > > > >Luke: No... > > > > > >Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at > > >yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own >ship > > >out of the swamp... > > > > > >Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star! > > > > > >Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly > > >destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship! > > > > > >Luke: Well, it's not my fault... > > > > > >Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... " Poor me... my father never gave >me > >what I > > >wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of >the > > >Sith... waahhh wahhh! " > > > > > >Luke: Shut up... > > > > > >Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I >had > > >exterminated the Jedi knights! > > > > > >Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon! > > > > > >Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, > >winner > > >of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... > >right > > >here baby! > > > > > >Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it. > > > > > >Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know > >whose you > > >are, but you sure ain't mine... > > > > > >Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down > >the shaft. > > > > > >Darth Vader looks after him. > > > > > >Darth Vader: Get a haircut! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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