(article) The Power of Releasing Resentments

[Guest guest]

Many people on the spectrum struggle with processing anger and

resentment toward actual (or perceived) wrongs inflicted against

them. And because perseveration is so common among this population,

the inability to let go of this toxic energy is especially

difficult. Not that it is easy for anyone, just that it can be

especially difficult for those with an inflexible sense of what

'justice' means, and how it should be achieved in order to reach

forgiveness.

I thought this article was especially good for deconstructing the

steps necessary to release resentment and its toxic hold over those

who feel betrayed or abused. Ultimately, holding onto resentment

hurts no one else but the victim of the betrayal or abuse -- a good

reason in itself to find a way to move on.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201012/the-power-releasing-resentments-holiday-and-new-year-s-gift-yourself-a

Enjoy (or

not),

~CJ

[Guest guest]

Thanks for pointing out that article, CJ, but as a leading

grudge-bearer myself, I have to say I don't agree with it, certainly

not in relation to the specific acts that were perpetrated against me at

any rate!

> holding onto resentment hurts no one

> else but the victim of the betrayal or abuse

This may be true in some cases, but some acts end up equally affecting

both the perpetrator and the victim. In my cases, the negative

consequences of what was done are still there years and decades later

affecting not only my life but those of the perpetrators and others

around as well, so a simple act of forgiving on my part wouldn't

magically make those consequences go away. They'd still be there as a

constant reminder of what had been done and shouldn't have.

So in these sorts of circumstances, I don't see how a changing heart on

the victim's part to suddenly become forgiving would help at all.

It seems to me that there are different categories of grudges. Some

from which a change of heart permits the original acts to be forgiven

and forgotten about so everyone can just get on with their lives, and

there are others where the material negative consequences of the acts

are still badly affecting people's lives and simply can't be ignored.

So if grudges are such that they can be forgiven and forgotten about,

then there's a strong case for forgiving and forgetting, but this

shouldn't be taken as a universal remedy in all cases.

--- (article) The Power of Releasing

Resentments

Date: Tue, 22 May 2012 17:48:11 -0700

Reply-To: aspires-relationships

To: shahmeran@...

Many people on the spectrum struggle with processing anger and

resentment toward actual (or perceived) wrongs inflicted against them.

And because perseveration is so common among this population, the

inability to let go of this toxic energy is especially difficult. Not

that it is easy for anyone, just that it can be especially difficult for

those with an inflexible sense of what 'justice' means, and how it

should be achieved in order to reach forgiveness.

I thought this article was especially good for deconstructing the steps

necessary to release resentment and its toxic hold over those who feel

betrayed or abused. Ultimately, holding onto resentment hurts no one

else but the victim of the betrayal or abuse -- a good reason in itself

to find a way to move on.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201012/the-power-releasing\

-resentments-holiday-and-new-year-s-gift-yourself-a

**Enjoy (or not),

~CJ