Vision and Faking

[Guest guest]

I have not followed everything lately, but feel there has been some

discussion re vision and faking. For what it is worth I will tell you

how we first realized that there was something serriously wrong with my

mother, although it was probably six months before we found out she had

LBD.

At her regular scheduled appointment with the retinologist for her

macular degeneration appointement, she was told that everything was

stable and to come back in six months. She insisted that her there was

a problem with her vision even though her normal practice would have

been to accept the doctor's advice. My mother was extremely anxious and

the doctor arrainged for another test which required we wait most of the

day as naturally there were people scheduled before us. During the wait

my mother became more anxious and blamed the doctor for making us wait,

even though he had made a special effort to get her taken the same day.

After the procedure was finished he came out to tell my sister and me

that " there was nothing more he could do for my mother " . In retrospect

I would have preferred a more candid response. What I believe now what

he meant was " your mother may have a proplem but it is not with her

eyes " , I recommend a neurologist. " Unfortunately most doctors do not

practice holistic medicine.

As for faking it, this is the one thing I would regret accepting. My

mother suffered great depression when she sold her house and moved into

a retirement residence. This seemed natural, although she new it was

the right thing to do. On her good days she would ask me which ear she

wore her hearing aid in and on her bad days she would say it did not

work. Nothing would work, not the telephone, the tv, the door bell,

etc. Of course what she was saying was, " I don't work anymore " My

point to this is people with dementia do not loose there emotions, they

still do work. But because they can no longer express themselves or

never had the insight they may act out inapporpriately due to

frustration and anger. If you can gain insight into the emotion behind

the problem it may be helpful in difussing situations. This is

explained way better in a book by Naomi Feil who has worked for a great

many year's with people with dementia. She pioneered validation

therapy, her book is called The Validation Breakthrough.