Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Hi Everyone, Yesterday was the worst day yet with mom, she got irate with me and , and cried and stayed in bed all day.She refuse to eat or take her meds but we finally got them down her.This has all been an enormous strain on me and and Drake.I feel like Im on the verge of a meltdown.I called moms lbd dr and Im waiting on the call back from him.She just isnt happy in her new surroundings.I almost toulk her home the other day and I saw what it will do to all of us if that happens.Drake was crushed, and That hurts me deeply.I wish I knew what to do.I am getting the wheels turning for a possible future nursing home for mom.I just dont know how much more fight I have left in all of this. is the most amazing person Ive ever met, and shes wonderful with mom but the strain that is on us through all of this may be too much.If any of you have any magic words that can cure stress, depression, anxiety, sadness, hoplessness, weariness, and, fear just to name a few, please please pass them along to me.Otherwise I hope your all well and just please keep us in your prayers. Ron ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Oh, Ron, I hope it was just not one of her better days. I hope today will be better. I'm assuming your Mom is on an anti-depressant? (It's hard to keep up with everyone.) Ron <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) com> To Sent by: lbdcaregivers LBDcaregivers@yah cc oogroups.com Subject need some hope 03/25/2008 11:57 AM Please respond to LBDcaregivers@yah oogroups.com Hi Everyone, Yesterday was the worst day yet with mom, she got irate with me and , and cried and stayed in bed all day.She refuse to eat or take her meds but we finally got them down her.This has all been an enormous strain on me and and Drake.I feel like Im on the verge of a meltdown.I called moms lbd dr and Im waiting on the call back from him.She just isnt happy in her new surroundings.I almost toulk her home the other day and I saw what it will do to all of us if that happens.Drake was crushed, and That hurts me deeply.I wish I knew what to do.I am getting the wheels turning for a possible future nursing home for mom.I just dont know how much more fight I have left in all of this. is the most amazing person Ive ever met, and shes wonderful with mom but the strain that is on us through all of this may be too much.If any of you have any magic words that can cure stress, depression, anxiety, sadness, hoplessness, weariness, and, fear just to name a few, please please pass them along to me.Otherwise I hope your all well and just please keep us in your prayers. Ron __________________________________________________________ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Ron, would and Drake be able to stay at your Mom's house? The adjustment she is going through would be a big one for a person without LBD. Gladys -- need some hope Hi Everyone, Yesterday was the worst day yet with mom, she got irate with me and , and cried and stayed in bed all day.She refuse to eat or take her meds but we finally got them down her.This has all been an enormous strain on me and and Drake.I feel like Im on the verge of a meltdown.I called moms lbd dr and Im waiting on the call back from him.She just isnt happy in her new surroundings.I almost toulk her home the other day and I saw what it will do to all of us if that happens.Drake was crushed, and That hurts me deeply.I wish I knew what to do.I am getting the wheels turning for a possible future nursing home for mom.I just dont know how much more fight I have left in all of this. is the most amazing person Ive ever met, and shes wonderful with mom but the strain that is on us through all of this may be too much.If any of you have any magic words that can cure stress depression, anxiety, sadness, hoplessness, weariness, and, fear just to name a few, please please pass them along to me.Otherwise I hope your all well and just please keep us in your prayers. Ron _____________________________________________________________________________ ______ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping ------------------------------------ Welcome to LBDcaregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Ron, I hate to jump in here and give advice, since I didn't have an experience of moving my husband more than once. However, most medical people will tell you that moving them once they have been moved is very hard on them. When she first got to her new place, she probably was in what they call the " honeymoon " period, which my husband went through at the NH. After awhile, they do get upset, but moving them again might cause more problems, even though she might seem to be okay for the first few days/weeks. I know it's very hard to find a way to make them happy, since they have a disease that isn't a happy disease. Have you checked to see if there is a P.A.C.E. program in your area? They will provide similar things that Hospice does. If not, have you contacted Hospice yet for some help? She is eligible if she is terminal and meets some other criteria. Is she incontinent, need help with bathing, meds, eating, etc.? If so, that might be the way to go. They will come 2-3 times a week, bathe, help with feeding, provide Depends, meds, air mattress, gerri chair, lift, etc., if those are necessary. It would take a lot of the burden off you two for a few days a week and would allow you to get out for some R & R. You don't want to get to the place you both can't handle it. Just my suggestions for whatever they are worth. JuneC light housework --- Gladys Stefany wrote: > Ron, would and Drake be able to stay at your > Mom's house? The > adjustment she is going through would be a big one > for a person without LBD. > > Gladys > > -- need some hope > > Hi Everyone, > Yesterday was the worst day yet with mom, she > got irate with me and > , and cried and stayed in bed all day.She > refuse to eat or take her > meds but we finally got them down her.This has all > been an enormous strain > on me and and Drake.I feel like Im on the > verge of a meltdown.I > called moms lbd dr and Im waiting on the call back > from him.She just isnt > happy in her new surroundings.I almost toulk her > home the other day and I > saw what it will do to all of us if that > happens.Drake was crushed, and That > hurts me deeply.I wish I knew what to do.I am > getting the wheels turning for > a possible future nursing home for mom.I just dont > know how much more fight > I have left in all of this. is the most > amazing person Ive ever met, > and shes wonderful with mom but the strain that is > on us through all of > this may be too much.If any of you have any magic > words that can cure stress > depression, anxiety, sadness, hoplessness, > weariness, and, fear just to > name a few, please please pass them along to > me.Otherwise I hope your all > well and just please keep us in your prayers. > Ron > > > > _____________________________________________________________________________ > ______ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > http://tools.search.yahoo > com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > > > ------------------------------------ > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Ron, I know how deeply you feel your mother's confusion and grief at leaving her home. You made the move with all good intentions for her as well as the 3 of you. You are ready to start a new chapter in your own life. Please do not feel guilty for thoughts of nh for Mom. There are now 4 of you. You have to consider what is everyone's best interest, not just Mom's. I know it goes against where you were as a single son. You are now much more. I'm not saying nh is the answer. I just want you to feel more comfortable with even thinking those thoughts. Thinking of you here where the snow has just started once again. , Oakville Ont. Mother, age 92, died Aug. 12/06 after 13 year decline from PDD > > Hi Everyone, > Yesterday was the worst day yet with mom, she got irate with me and , and cried and stayed in bed all day.She refuse to eat or take her meds but we finally got them down her.This has all been an enormous strain on me and and Drake.I feel like Im on the verge of a meltdown.I called moms lbd dr and Im waiting on the call back from him.She just isnt happy in her new surroundings.I almost toulk her home the other day and I saw what it will do to all of us if that happens.Drake was crushed, and That hurts me deeply.I wish I knew what to do.I am getting the wheels turning for a possible future nursing home for mom.I just dont know how much more fight I have left in all of this. is the most amazing person Ive ever met, and shes wonderful with mom but the strain that is on us through all of this may be too much.If any of you have any magic words that can cure stress, depression, anxiety, sadness, hoplessness, weariness, and, fear just to > name a few, please please pass them along to me.Otherwise I hope your all well and just please keep us in your prayers. Ron > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/ category.php?category=shopping > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 One more thought. She could be reacting to the recent anaesthetic/any drugs given during her last hospital run. Or maybe even a UTI? It is literally " pouring " snow! However, I'm counting on not having to shovel this mess. Temps hopefully will co-operate there. > > > > Hi Everyone, > > Yesterday was the worst day yet with mom, she got irate with me and , and > cried and stayed in bed all day.She refuse to eat or take her meds but we finally got them > down her.This has all been an enormous strain on me and and Drake.I feel like Im > on the verge of a meltdown.I called moms lbd dr and Im waiting on the call back from > him.She just isnt happy in her new surroundings.I almost toulk her home the other day > and I saw what it will do to all of us if that happens.Drake was crushed, and That hurts me > deeply.I wish I knew what to do.I am getting the wheels turning for a possible future > nursing home for mom.I just dont know how much more fight I have left in all of > this. is the most amazing person Ive ever met, and shes wonderful with mom but > the strain that is on us through all of this may be too much.If any of you have any magic > words that can cure stress, depression, anxiety, sadness, hoplessness, weariness, and, > fear just to > > name a few, please please pass them along to me.Otherwise I hope your all well and > just please keep us in your prayers. Ron > > > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/ > category.php?category=shopping > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Ron, Wish i had some words of wisdom, all i know is that this will pass. You'll get some more good days then you'll have another difficult one. I don't mean this to be in any way negative, this is just how the illness is and also given her recent hospital stay, this could add to her confusion and frustration. You have amazing support in and the trick is not to let it come between you, i had the same with Danny,my husband, when my granda was here. Your life revolves around the illness and if you let it it will consume you. vent your frustration, cry, scream, come here and do the lot because we will always be here for you as a means of escape. I know you can talk to Sandie on the phone and if you ever feel the need to speak to a mad scottish woman then Sandie is free to pass on my home number........all venting, screaming etc will be listened to!!...LOL... Take care .xx need some hope Hi Everyone, Yesterday was the worst day yet with mom, she got irate with me and , and cried and stayed in bed all day.She refuse to eat or take her meds but we finally got them down her.This has all been an enormous strain on me and and Drake.I feel like Im on the verge of a meltdown.I called moms lbd dr and Im waiting on the call back from him.She just isnt happy in her new surroundings.I almost toulk her home the other day and I saw what it will do to all of us if that happens.Drake was crushed, and That hurts me deeply.I wish I knew what to do.I am getting the wheels turning for a possible future nursing home for mom.I just dont know how much more fight I have left in all of this. is the most amazing person Ive ever met, and shes wonderful with mom but the strain that is on us through all of this may be too much.If any of you have any magic words that can cure stress, depression, anxiety, sadness, hoplessness, weariness, and, fear just to name a few, please please pass them along to me.Otherwise I hope your all well and just please keep us in your prayers. Ron __________________________________________________________ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG. Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.0/1341 - Release Date: 24/03/2008 15:03 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Ron, I am so sorry for all of you. I just had a thought. Does she have her little keepsakes around her? Pictures, blankets, pillow, figurines, whatever she is used to? It may help a lot? Something soft to cling to? Place things in her room the same as they were in her room at home. It is amazing at the things that bring us comfort. My wish is for all of you to find comfort. Love a big, big lot, Imogene > > Hi Everyone, > Yesterday was the worst day yet with mom, she got irate with me and , and cried and stayed in bed all day.She refuse to eat or take her meds but we finally got them down her.This has all been an enormous strain on me and and Drake.I feel like Im on the verge of a meltdown.I called moms lbd dr and Im waiting on the call back from him.She just isnt happy in her new surroundings.I almost toulk her home the other day and I saw what it will do to all of us if that happens.Drake was crushed, and That hurts me deeply.I wish I knew what to do.I am getting the wheels turning for a possible future nursing home for mom.I just dont know how much more fight I have left in all of this. is the most amazing person Ive ever met, and shes wonderful with mom but the strain that is on us through all of this may be too much.If any of you have any magic words that can cure stress, depression, anxiety, sadness, hoplessness, weariness, and, fear just to > name a few, please please pass them along to me.Otherwise I hope your all well and just please keep us in your prayers. Ron > > > ______________________________________________________________________ ______________ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 I met with Hospice on Friday of last week, and I'm not too happy with them. They've determined that my Mom isn't dying fast enough, so they " doubt seriously " that they will recertify her as needing Hospice care after April 30th. They said " this could go on for months, maybe years. " I tried to make them understand the differences between LBD and Alzheimer's. Mom can usually do showtime when they come in. On Friday, she called for her glasses and her Bible (first time in MONTHS), put her teeth in (ditto), and no matter how I tried to tell them that this was totally atypical for her, if she can speak more than 6 words they will not recertify her. You know...my Mom goes days without talking, without eating, lying in bed with her head under the covers, can't walk, has to be lifted out of her bed and onto the commode, and her conversations ALL deal with God. She can't hold a conversation with anyone. Oklahoma has its own version of the PACE program, and we're working to get her certified for assistant through them, but hospice says, " well, it can take a while to do that. " I asked how long, and they wouldn't answer me, but said, " it varies. " My dad, who is doing her primary care, is 84 years old, diabetic, arthritic, and is wearing me out. I have to listen to HOURS of complaints from him about Mom, all the while doing the same things he's done. Yet, he is still in control of her medical and living decisions, and will not even consider a nursing home. I tried to talk to him about cashing out some of his IRA's and the like, and using that to get some help in, and he flatly refuses, saying " we can take care of her. " I'm teaching all day during the week, teaching two nights for 4-5 hours a night, teaching Saturday mornings for 5-6 hours, doing their shopping for them, cooking meals and taking to them, and still trying to maintain my own place, and on the nights I'm not teaching I'm over there helping with Mom for 4-5 hours a night. And Dad's complaining because he can't get out of the house! There are so many times I just want to get into my car and drive away and never look back. I'm beginning to feel like a hostage in this situation. Jannis " They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. " -- Isaiah 40:31 --------------------------------- Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Jannis, is there another Hospice in your town/city? If so, you might call them. They all are different from what I've heard. I do not know how you can keep up that pace without killing yourself with stress. I hate to sound cruel, but perhaps if you weren't able to help your father so much, he might be more likely to consider caregiving help or even a nursing home. What you are doing is superhuman, and it will get you down eventually. Otherwise, is there some way you could take pictures of her when she is really bad so that you could show them to Hospice? Or, could you call them to come when she is having a bad day? Does she know the days they are coming so she is " up " for them, or is she that aware? Anyway, just my take on your health. JuneC --- Jannis Hallford wrote: > I met with Hospice on Friday of last week, and I'm > not too happy with them. > > They've determined that my Mom isn't dying fast > enough, so they " doubt seriously " that they will > recertify her as needing Hospice care after April > 30th. They said " this could go on for months, maybe > years. " I tried to make them understand the > differences between LBD and Alzheimer's. Mom can > usually do showtime when they come in. On Friday, > she called for her glasses and her Bible (first time > in MONTHS), put her teeth in (ditto), and no matter > how I tried to tell them that this was totally > atypical for her, if she can speak more than 6 words > they will not recertify her. > > You know...my Mom goes days without talking, > without eating, lying in bed with her head under the > covers, can't walk, has to be lifted out of her bed > and onto the commode, and her conversations ALL deal > with God. She can't hold a conversation with > anyone. > > Oklahoma has its own version of the PACE program, > and we're working to get her certified for assistant > through them, but hospice says, " well, it can take a > while to do that. " I asked how long, and they > wouldn't answer me, but said, " it varies. " > > My dad, who is doing her primary care, is 84 years > old, diabetic, arthritic, and is wearing me out. I > have to listen to HOURS of complaints from him about > Mom, all the while doing the same things he's done. > Yet, he is still in control of her medical and > living decisions, and will not even consider a > nursing home. I tried to talk to him about cashing > out some of his IRA's and the like, and using that > to get some help in, and he flatly refuses, saying > " we can take care of her. " > > I'm teaching all day during the week, teaching two > nights for 4-5 hours a night, teaching Saturday > mornings for 5-6 hours, doing their shopping for > them, cooking meals and taking to them, and still > trying to maintain my own place, and on the nights > I'm not teaching I'm over there helping with Mom for > 4-5 hours a night. And Dad's complaining because he > can't get out of the house! > > There are so many times I just want to get into my > car and drive away and never look back. I'm > beginning to feel like a hostage in this situation. > > Jannis > > > " They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their > strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; > they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk > and not faint. " -- Isaiah 40:31 > > --------------------------------- > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with > Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page. http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 Jannis, Please try a different hospice agency. I'm sure they will take her since her condition is " steadily declining " . That's all they need from a doctor. Can you get someone to come in and help a couple of hours a few days a week? Jannis Hallford <janthegoddess200 3@...> To Sent by: LBDcaregivers LBDcaregivers@yah cc oogroups.com Subject Re: need some hope 03/25/2008 06:32 PM Please respond to LBDcaregivers@yah oogroups.com I met with Hospice on Friday of last week, and I'm not too happy with them. They've determined that my Mom isn't dying fast enough, so they " doubt seriously " that they will recertify her as needing Hospice care after April 30th. They said " this could go on for months, maybe years. " I tried to make them understand the differences between LBD and Alzheimer's. Mom can usually do showtime when they come in. On Friday, she called for her glasses and her Bible (first time in MONTHS), put her teeth in (ditto), and no matter how I tried to tell them that this was totally atypical for her, if she can speak more than 6 words they will not recertify her. You know...my Mom goes days without talking, without eating, lying in bed with her head under the covers, can't walk, has to be lifted out of her bed and onto the commode, and her conversations ALL deal with God. She can't hold a conversation with anyone. Oklahoma has its own version of the PACE program, and we're working to get her certified for assistant through them, but hospice says, " well, it can take a while to do that. " I asked how long, and they wouldn't answer me, but said, " it varies. " My dad, who is doing her primary care, is 84 years old, diabetic, arthritic, and is wearing me out. I have to listen to HOURS of complaints from him about Mom, all the while doing the same things he's done. Yet, he is still in control of her medical and living decisions, and will not even consider a nursing home. I tried to talk to him about cashing out some of his IRA's and the like, and using that to get some help in, and he flatly refuses, saying " we can take care of her. " I'm teaching all day during the week, teaching two nights for 4-5 hours a night, teaching Saturday mornings for 5-6 hours, doing their shopping for them, cooking meals and taking to them, and still trying to maintain my own place, and on the nights I'm not teaching I'm over there helping with Mom for 4-5 hours a night. And Dad's complaining because he can't get out of the house! There are so many times I just want to get into my car and drive away and never look back. I'm beginning to feel like a hostage in this situation. Jannis " They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. " -- Isaiah 40:31 --------------------------------- Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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