Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 Hello LBD caregivers, I have a question I would like to ask those of you who deal with your loved ones hellucinations. I was taking care of my mom today and we were in the kitchen doing dishes at her house. My dad had gone out to do his errands. She told me a wild tale that a man came into her room last night to look for a valuable coin she had. She told me there were only two just like it in the world and it was worth a great sum of money. Anyway this man who was a Airforce officer went through the clothing in my dads closet looking for this rare coin. She told me he was very respectful and that he also rode up on a white horse and tied it up in the back yard. The horse ate her flowers. I told her I thought maybe she was having a very vivid hellucination and this really didn't happen. She insisted it was a true story. I even asked her who gave her this rare coin and she told me she had it all her life. First time I ever heard about it. Do most of you just listen to these tall tales and make comments or is it better to tell your loved one you don't buy all the details. I gently try and tell her she is mixed up but she truly believes what she says is true. My mom has Parkinson's disease and the medication can cause hellicinations but she is really spinning some real yarns lately. SHe hasn't been dx with anything other than medication related problems but I think its more. Any comments on how best to handle these tall tales would be greatly appreicated. My mother was always a staright shooter but right now she doesn't want to admit that some form of dementia is setting in. Thanks Vallerie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 Hi Vallerie, I'm sure that the halucination your mother had was very vivid and real in her mind. My mother had similar stories to tell, one even to the point that she had become engaged to a wonderful man named Larry who was a retired police officer. He had even given her a beautiful diamond ring. We could not convince her that this really hadn't happened, so we would just change the topic and she was quite adament in her remembering her episodes. We only went to the point that we told her a lot of things she was experiencing were the result of the medication she was taking, but she remained firm in her beliefs about events as they happened. Mom's doctor told us not to try to convince her that they were not true...that it would save us a lot of frustration in the end. In many ways, she was happy in her little world.... --- Vallerie Edmonds wrote: > Hello LBD caregivers, > I have a question I would like to ask those of you > who deal with your loved ones hellucinations. I was > taking care of my mom today and we were in the > kitchen doing dishes at her house. My dad had gone > out to do his errands. She told me a wild tale that > a man came into her room last night to look for a > valuable coin she had. She told me there were only > two just like it in the world and it was worth a > great sum of money. Anyway this man who was a > Airforce officer went through the clothing in my > dads closet looking for this rare coin. She told me > he was very respectful and that he also rode up on > a white horse and tied it up in the back yard. The > horse ate her flowers. I told her I thought maybe > she was having a very vivid hellucination and this > really didn't happen. She insisted it was a true > story. I even asked her who gave her this rare coin > and she told me she had it all her life. First time > I ever heard about it. Do most of you just listen > to these tall tales > and make comments or is it better to tell your > loved one you don't buy all the details. I gently > try and tell her she is mixed up but she truly > believes what she says is true. My mom has > Parkinson's disease and the medication can cause > hellicinations but she is really spinning some real > yarns lately. SHe hasn't been dx with anything other > than medication related problems but I think its > more. Any comments on how best to handle these tall > tales would be greatly appreicated. My mother was > always a staright shooter but right now she doesn't > want to admit that some form of dementia is setting > in. > Thanks > Vallerie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 In the beginning I tried to explain that it was just a dream and that it just felt real -- but it really didn't happen. That worked to a point. Now, I just 'go with it'. On my last visit, my mom was quite talkative - telling me that she was on the phone with Nina (my grandmother) who passed away in 2000. So I just go with it and ask her what she said... When she said she saw my dad (who passed away in 1996) again, I went with it... Saying that I bet it was nice to see him -- her response, " You bet! " So I just go with it. Today my sister visited and the first thing she said to my sister is " Guess what?! 's pregnant! " HA HA my sister said that someone's probably pregant, but isn't... When my mother was in the ALF she talked about all the residents wanting her to bake a cake (?) being chased in the halls (!!) etc... It does make for an adventure every day. One day my mom was pretty with it (this was in the ALF, in the early fall of 2005). She went on & on about a story -- then at the very end she said, " It really didn't happen, but it does make a good story... " That just confused me!! > > Hello LBD caregivers, > I have a question I would like to ask those of you who deal with your loved ones hellucinations. I was taking care of my mom today and we were in the kitchen doing dishes at her house. My dad had gone out to do his errands. She told me a wild tale that a man came into her room last night to look for a valuable coin she had. She told me there were only two just like it in the world and it was worth a great sum of money. Anyway this man who was a Airforce officer went through the clothing in my dads closet looking for this rare coin. She told me he was very respectful and that he also rode up on a white horse and tied it up in the back yard. The horse ate her flowers. I told her I thought maybe she was having a very vivid hellucination and this really didn't happen. She insisted it was a true story. I even asked her who gave her this rare coin and she told me she had it all her life. First time I ever heard about it. Do most of you just listen to these tall tales > and make comments or is it better to tell your loved one you don't buy all the details. I gently try and tell her she is mixed up but she truly believes what she says is true. My mom has Parkinson's disease and the medication can cause hellicinations but she is really spinning some real yarns lately. SHe hasn't been dx with anything other than medication related problems but I think its more. Any comments on how best to handle these tall tales would be greatly appreicated. My mother was always a staright shooter but right now she doesn't want to admit that some form of dementia is setting in. > Thanks > Vallerie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 Hello Vallerie, I haven't paused long enough to welcome you on board. You will be glad that you are here, if you aren't already. I hate what it's all about, but so does everyone of us. I can't praise the List enough. Many fine people here. Hallucinations? Your mother is having them all right. I am sure many have answered your question already. That was the first true sign that I knew some was seriously wrong. My husband had been having " visitors " at night. I thought they were just vivid dreams. But, when he was wide awake and saw a leopard in the hall, then I talked real calm to him one evening while we had a glass of wine before dinner, and suggested it was time to see a doctor, because seeing a leopard was not normal. I treat his hallucinations as if they are real, just like he thinks they are. I did that for my Mama, even though I didn't know beans about Dementia, or that she had it for sure. She had strokes. Mama said she saw my sons in a TV show the night before. I went right along with it and said, " I sure wish I had seen the show with you. " That was not a fiblet, because I wish I has seen TV with her. My husband knows his hallucinations are not real. The last time he was in the hospital he stared hard at the A/C register over his bed, and said, " I see a cat in there looking at me. " He was getting a little antsy about it, and staring hard. I said, " Honey why don't you turn over, close your eyes, and I'll scare him away for you. " My love went to sleep and didn't know the first thing about a cat in the register when he woke up. So, I know he has them and forgets. I was glad others told me how to treat his hallucinations. You might be advises to tell her Doctor how she is acting. The Doctor will take it from there. I would suggest writing him/her a detailed letter, and ask him/her to keep the letter from your Mother's knowledge. Give your phone# and E-mail address. You may be contacted and asked to come in with your mother on her next visit. You had a very good question, but you don't have to be concerned if they are good or not, because we all ask dozens of questions, of all kinds. We are learning to be better caregivers from each other. I really appreciate those that have been here, and remain to help the rest of us. Imogene Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman husband of 35 years. He has LBD with Parkinsonism. In a message dated 9/29/2006 5:19:24 PM Central Daylight Time, vjedmonds@... writes: Hello LBD caregivers, I have a question I would like to ask those of you who deal with your loved ones hellucinations. I was taking care of my mom today and we were in the kitchen doing dishes at her house. My dad had gone out to do his errands. She told me a wild tale that a man came into her room last night to look for a valuable coin she had. She told me there were only two just like it in the world and it was worth a great sum of money. Anyway this man who was a Airforce officer went through the clothing in my dads closet looking for this rare coin. She told me he was very respectful and that he also rode up on a white horse and tied it up in the back yard. The horse ate her flowers. I told her I thought maybe she was having a very vivid hellucination and this really didn't happen. She insisted it was a true story. I even asked her who gave her this rare coin and she told me she had it all her life. First time I ever heard about it. Do most of you just listen to these tall tales and make comments or is it better to tell your loved one you don't buy all the details. I gently try and tell her she is mixed up but she truly believes what she says is true. My mom has Parkinson's disease and the medication can cause hellicinations but she is really spinning some real yarns lately. SHe hasn't been dx with anything other than medication related problems but I think its more. Any comments on how best to handle these tall tales would be greatly appreicated. My mother was always a staright shooter but right now she doesn't want to admit that some form of dementia is setting in. Thanks Vallerie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 Vallerie, Pick your battles. One of the things about hellucinations is no matter how off the wall they believe them to be true. Since Dad was dx earlier this month and he knows sometimes he sees things that are not there it's really kinda funny. He will ask me what happen to something he thought was there earlier. I'm not real quick on my feet so I'm sitting her trying to figure out if something really was moved or if he was hellucinating. He gets really disgusted at me and says " now don't tell me I'm seeing things. I know it was there. " :-) After the first time or two I just started cracking up. He sees things, he knows he sees things yet he's telling me he knows it was there. Gotta love 'em. I wouldn't worry about setting Mom straight unless there is a safety issue or it seems bothersome/frightening to her. Hugs, Leah > > Hello LBD caregivers, > I have a question I would like to ask those of you who deal with your loved ones hellucinations. I was taking care of my mom today and we were in the kitchen doing dishes at her house. My dad had gone out to do his errands. She told me a wild tale that a man came into her room last night to look for a valuable coin she had. She told me there were only two just like it in the world and it was worth a great sum of money. Anyway this man who was a Airforce officer went through the clothing in my dads closet looking for this rare coin. She told me he was very respectful and that he also rode up on a white horse and tied it up in the back yard. The horse ate her flowers. I told her I thought maybe she was having a very vivid hellucination and this really didn't happen. She insisted it was a true story. I even asked her who gave her this rare coin and she told me she had it all her life. First time I ever heard about it. Do most of you just listen to these tall tales > and make comments or is it better to tell your loved one you don't buy all the details. I gently try and tell her she is mixed up but she truly believes what she says is true. My mom has Parkinson's disease and the medication can cause hellicinations but she is really spinning some real yarns lately. SHe hasn't been dx with anything other than medication related problems but I think its more. Any comments on how best to handle these tall tales would be greatly appreicated. My mother was always a staright shooter but right now she doesn't want to admit that some form of dementia is setting in. > Thanks > Vallerie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 Vallerie: I tried, too, to reason with my husband about things that were not true, and it is fruitless to argue with them. Just go along with the hallucination story, as it is real to her. Ask her to describe more about it. If you validate it, she will move on and more than likely, forget it shortly. I just get so I say okay, yes, that's probably what happened, etc. and then he moves on. Any comments on how best to handle these tall > tales would be > greatly appreicated. My mother was always a > staright shooter but > right now she doesn't want to admit that some form > of dementia is > setting in. > > Thanks > > Vallerie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2006 Report Share Posted September 30, 2006 One of the interesting things about hallucinations is that while the person claims they are real, they never act as if they were. If they're positive, I say some variation of How Nice (as mother visiting LO last night. What did she have to say?) If they're people doing weird things, I comment gently wondering why they would do such a thing. (Joy crashed her helicopter in the trees. Looks like she'd be more careful, doesn't it.) The negative ones, I suggest what would be a reality response. (A man was in my room last night. Oh, did you call for help?) --- Vallerie Edmonds wrote: > Hello LBD caregivers, > I have a question I would like to ask those of you > who deal with your loved ones hellucinations. I was > taking care of my mom today and we were in the > kitchen doing dishes at her house. My dad had gone > out to do his errands. She told me a wild tale that > a man came into her room last night to look for a > valuable coin she had. She told me there were only > two just like it in the world and it was worth a > great sum of money. Anyway this man who was a > Airforce officer went through the clothing in my > dads closet looking for this rare coin. She told me > he was very respectful and that he also rode up on > a white horse and tied it up in the back yard. The > horse ate her flowers. I told her I thought maybe > she was having a very vivid hellucination and this > really didn't happen. She insisted it was a true > story. I even asked her who gave her this rare coin > and she told me she had it all her life. First time > I ever heard about it. Do most of you just listen > to these tall tales > and make comments or is it better to tell your > loved one you don't buy all the details. I gently > try and tell her she is mixed up but she truly > believes what she says is true. My mom has > Parkinson's disease and the medication can cause > hellicinations but she is really spinning some real > yarns lately. SHe hasn't been dx with anything other > than medication related problems but I think its > more. Any comments on how best to handle these tall > tales would be greatly appreicated. My mother was > always a staright shooter but right now she doesn't > want to admit that some form of dementia is setting > in. > Thanks > Vallerie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2006 Report Share Posted September 30, 2006 Vallerie my dad had very scary hallucinations quite often, like the kgb or cia were out to kidnap me to get to him, he had these whenever i was supposed to leave or whenever donnie was out of town and i had daddy alone before sissy was hired. well i couldnt convince him that he was dreaming or hallucinations that would just make him madder. we realzied that if we came home earlier than he expected us too he wouldnt have thess scary hallucinations. so i would intentionally tell him one hour later than i expected to be home and come home early before he had a chance to conjour up his tall tales. the other halluciantions teh animals in the yard etc. we would encourage him to share with us if it wasnt scaring him or it was we would genlty change the subject. they really think their hallucinations are real so you ahve to decide if this is a battle that is worth fighting. is it a big deal if she thinks there is a black cat up there near the light, if you dont see it, just kinda laugh it off and say something like the cat must only like you as weh i try to see it , it hides. or something, we dont want to get hung on a lie, like oh yeah i see the cat, and get asked what color eyes does it have and you ansewr wrong. so just tell likttle white lies, things that arent worth being right or wrong over, just let them go, gently change teh subject or whatever you have to do, but i wouldnt suggest convincing htem that she is wrong becuase that will just agitate her. hugs, sharon m ---- Vallerie Edmonds wrote: Hello LBD caregivers, I have a question I would like to ask those of you who deal with your loved ones hellucinations. I was taking care of my mom today and we were in the kitchen doing dishes at her house. My dad had gone out to do his errands. She told me a wild tale that a man came into her room last night to look for a valuable coin she had. She told me there were only two just like it in the world and it was worth a great sum of money. Anyway this man who was a Airforce officer went through the clothing in my dads closet looking for this rare coin. She told me he was very respectful and that he also rode up on a white horse and tied it up in the back yard. The horse ate her flowers. I told her I thought maybe she was having a very vivid hellucination and this really didn't happen. She insisted it was a true story. I even asked her who gave her this rare coin and she told me she had it all her life. First time I ever heard about it. Do most of you just listen to these tall tales and make comments or is it better to tell your loved one you don't buy all the details. I gently try and tell her she is mixed up but she truly believes what she says is true. My mom has Parkinson's disease and the medication can cause hellicinations but she is really spinning some real yarns lately. SHe hasn't been dx with anything other than medication related problems but I think its more. Any comments on how best to handle these tall tales would be greatly appreicated. My mother was always a staright shooter but right now she doesn't want to admit that some form of dementia is setting in. Thanks Vallerie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2006 Report Share Posted October 1, 2006 The other night at dinner, my husband was looking across the dining room at the NH and started reading street signs. There is one sign above the door telling the maximum capacity, but he was reading names that were not anything I'd ever heard. He sees so many cars and trucks, that I truly think he is seeing a street. How he came up with the street names, I do not know. --- l pratt wrote: > Dear Vallerie, I agree with all who have responded. > Basically your wish is that your mom is safe, > content, has as much quality of life as poissible, > and is at peace within herself. There are all levels > of hallucinations - this one sounds pretty calm - > nothing scary. My mom's latest is that my father > (dead a year) stole a car and she can't find the > keys and is scared that someone will be mad at her. > It is so real to her. She has in the past seen bugs, > people, animals, etc. When it's something simple, > like a bug (which frighten her), I " kill " it > (picking up something invisible and very > ostentatiously putting it in the garbage). In the > past, when she was aware she was hallucinating, I > would point out that " it does look like a man, but > it's just getting dark outside and that is a > shadow. " Many of us find our loved ones become more > upset if we disagree with them or try to tell them > something is not real. It is, to them. Unless it > affects their safety or peace of mind, we can go > along and adapt to them. They will not be able to > adapt to us and our reality. If you can gauge what > upsets your mom, you can " take care of " it in a way > that calms her. If it doesn't bother her, then > " going along " as you describe with the coin, horse, > flower story is just as loving. And that's what we > want to demonstrate to them at all times, right? > You're in my thoughts. Lin > > jonaslaj wrote: Vallerie, > > Pick your battles. One of the things about > hellucinations is no > matter how off the wall they believe them to be > true. Since Dad was > dx earlier this month and he knows sometimes he sees > things that are > not there it's really kinda funny. He will ask me > what happen to > something he thought was there earlier. I'm not real > quick on my > feet so I'm sitting her trying to figure out if > something really was > moved or if he was hellucinating. He gets really > disgusted at me > and says " now don't tell me I'm seeing things. I > know it was > there. " :-) After the first time or two I just > started cracking > up. He sees things, he knows he sees things yet he's > telling me he > knows it was there. Gotta love 'em. I wouldn't worry > about setting > Mom straight unless there is a safety issue or it > seems > bothersome/frightening to her. > > Hugs, > Leah > > > > > > Hello LBD caregivers, > > I have a question I would like to ask those of you > who deal with > your loved ones hellucinations. I was taking care of > my mom today > and we were in the kitchen doing dishes at her > house. My dad had > gone out to do his errands. She told me a wild tale > that a man came > into her room last night to look for a valuable coin > she had. She > told me there were only two just like it in the > world and it was > worth a great sum of money. Anyway this man who was > a Airforce > officer went through the clothing in my dads closet > looking for this > rare coin. She told me he was very respectful and > that he also > rode up on a white horse and tied it up in the back > yard. The horse > ate her flowers. I told her I thought maybe she was > having a very > vivid hellucination and this really didn't happen. > She insisted it > was a true story. I even asked her who gave her this > rare coin and > she told me she had it all her life. First time I > ever heard about > it. Do most of you just listen to these tall tales > > and make comments or is it better to tell your > loved one you > don't buy all the details. I gently try and tell her > she is mixed > up but she truly believes what she says is true. My > mom has > Parkinson's disease and the medication can cause > hellicinations but > she is really spinning some real yarns lately. SHe > hasn't been dx > with anything other than medication related problems > but I think its > more. Any comments on how best to handle these tall > tales would be > greatly appreicated. My mother was always a staright > shooter but > right now she doesn't want to admit that some form > of dementia is > setting in. > > Thanks > > Vallerie > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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