Re: dad refuses help/Donna

[Guest guest]

Excellent suggestion, Donna!

Uncertainty, fear of change and battling for independence do seem to rule the

lives of our LOs.

Words like should, must and no are like waving red flags at a bull. :-))

Sure wish this disease came with an operator's manual!!

Too much to learn too quickly.

Donna Mido wrote:

If your Dad refuses help, your Mom needs to find a very special

caregiver and have her/him there while your Mom is there. And it needs to be a

caregiver who can handle this kind of a situation. One who will help your Dad to

not be afraid. He may be scared that without your Mom, he doesn't know what will

happen. After your Mom has someone there with her for a few times, she could try

leaving for a hour then increase the time she is gone.

One of the biggest problems I learned early with my Mom, was that I wasn't going

to FORCE her to do anything. The slower I took it and the more I tried to make

her feel safe, the better she could handle it.

She went to day care and eventually they could have shower if they wanted it. I

laughed when they asked if I would like for her to be showered. (It was a new

program) I told them if they could get her in, yes, please! She had a shower

every day she was there. I finally had to go see how they got her to do that.

They just had a person doing the showers that knew how to work very slowly and

carefully and Mom NEVER once objected to showers!!??

I was betting silently they would never get her in and I was wrong. There are

people who know what they are doing. And I think they already knew what I really

had a hard time learning. Forcing never works. Mom did need her independence.

And that means she will decide who and what.

Hope this helps.

Donna R

- Kingston, Ontario, Canada

Lo Mum 88(dx Jan. 05) and Dad 92 live with me.

25mg of Seroquel 8:00pm & 6:30 am only LBD related drug, so far

.5 Oxybutinin pm & am

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[Guest guest]

Tori, I loved it. We can turn many every day events into something happy and

interesting.

Thanks for relating it to us.

Imogene

In a message dated 6/22/2006 9:53:19 PM Central Daylight Time,

ceemeebehapy@... writes:

Imogene,

It's funny you said that about him being slow. I have a funny story. My

out-laws and I went to Costco the other day and MIL went about shopping while I

tagged along with Dizz, my FIL. We have a great time checking out all the

deals and such. Anyway as we were walking I noticed his lewy shuffle was

getting worse so I asked if he was tired. He said no and kept going. I have

been

wanting to " make a test " of his walking because he does dawdle some. So as

we were walking down an aisle, I walked my normal speed and left him behind,

so I slowed down, he then caught up but soon was behind again. I really

slowed down towards the end of the aisle and he slowed down too! And that left

him behind as well. When we got to the end he asked me if we were trying out

for a marathon! I laughed so hard. He so knew what I was up too! I told

him I was just checking his walking. He told me that he's not in a hurry to

get anywhere so why should he hurry. Of course his hurry is

slower than our hurry. Then while we were waiting he looked at MIL and

said, " you could learn something from us Rosemary! " When she asked him what

exactly, he replied, " you could learn to walk slower and smell the

merchandise! "

She couldn't decide if he was having a lewy moment or if he was being his

ole self. I knew he was kidding so I laughed! She just rolled her eyes and

went about her business. I just love those moments we share together.

So that's my story. Just thought I'd share.

We should make that the Thought of the Day, Walk slow and smell the

merchandise!

Have a great day all!

Tori

---------------------------------

[Guest guest]

I love it! Walk slow and smell the merchandise!

Thanks for the smile!

>

> Imogene,

>

> It's funny you said that about him being slow. I have a funny

story. My out-laws and I went to Costco the other day and MIL went

about shopping while I tagged along with Dizz, my FIL. We have a

great time checking out all the deals and such. Anyway as we were

walking I noticed his lewy shuffle was getting worse so I asked if he

was tired. He said no and kept going. I have been wanting to " make a

test " of his walking because he does dawdle some. So as we were

walking down an aisle, I walked my normal speed and left him behind,

so I slowed down, he then caught up but soon was behind again. I

really slowed down towards the end of the aisle and he slowed down

too! And that left him behind as well. When we got to the end he

asked me if we were trying out for a marathon! I laughed so hard.

He so knew what I was up too! I told him I was just checking his

walking. He told me that he's not in a hurry to get anywhere so why

should he hurry. Of course his hurry is

> slower than our hurry. Then while we were waiting he looked at

MIL and said, " you could learn something from us Rosemary! " When she

asked him what exactly, he replied, " you could learn to walk slower

and smell the merchandise! " She couldn't decide if he was having a

lewy moment or if he was being his ole self. I knew he was kidding

so I laughed! She just rolled her eyes and went about her business.

I just love those moments we share together.

>

> So that's my story. Just thought I'd share.

>

> We should make that the Thought of the Day, Walk slow and smell

the merchandise!

>

> Have a great day all!

>

> Tori

>

>

> ---------------------------------

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>

>