Post Divorce - point me in the right direction

[Guest guest]

I was married for 25 yrs to me ex who the Psych said had Aspie like symptoms and

also an Auditory Processing Disorder. He was very badly abused physically and

emotionally in his family of origin which made an accurate diagnosis difficult.

I am seeing a Psychiatrist for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and she is

focusing on my failure to set boundaries as the root of the issue. I tend to

agree however struggle to give her a sense of life with an Aspie. She has no

first hand exposure. An English Psychologist by the name of Maxine... used to

have an excellent article on her website describing what she called Cassandra

Syndrome. That article really captured my personal experience. It is no longer

on her website and has been replaced by a workshop on the subject. Does anyone

have a copy or could you point me to something similar? Im really discouraged by

thr Psychiatrists lack of understanding and so desperately want to work with her

to be able to heal and move on.

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Hello

I am sure that Helen or will direct you to some of the archive material on Cassandra complex, and it is Maxine Aston who you were thinking of?

The description of the complex is: 'The Cassandra metaphor is applied by some psychologists to individuals who experience physical and emotional suffering as a result of distressing personal perceptions, and who are disbelieved when they attempt to share the cause of their suffering with others'. In other words, not being taken seriously, or considered to be at odds with a situation?

However, personally, I believe that althougth the Cassandra explanation does in some ways, help to describe someone who finds themselves subsumed for the sake of another (AS being one of the 'sakes', where emotional currency may be diminished) it might be also productive to look at books about Aspergers' and this will help your practitioner to understand your standpoint?

I found Tony Attwood's The Complete Asperger to be invaluable, as it covered the viewpoint of the AS person, and also what the AS should consider in regard to Neurotypical relationships. From that angle, the book shows how different each type is, and that helped me to understand my feelings and helped me battle 'Cassandra' tendencies.

I hope you have a good recovery, and that you will soon feel at ease with everything.

Best wishes

Judy B, Scotland

To: aspires-relationships Sent: Tuesday, 3 July 2012, 11:16Subject: Post Divorce - point me in the right directionI was married for 25 yrs to me ex who the Psych said had Aspie like symptoms and also an Auditory Processing Disorder. He was very badly abused physically and emotionally in his family of origin which made an accurate diagnosis

difficult. I am seeing a Psychiatrist for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and she is focusing on my failure to set boundaries as the root of the issue. I tend to agree however struggle to give her a sense of life with an Aspie. She has no first hand exposure. An English Psychologist by the name of Maxine... used to have an excellent article on her website describing what she called Cassandra Syndrome. That article really captured my personal experience. It is no longer on her website and has been replaced by a workshop on the subject. Does anyone have a copy or could you point me to something similar? Im really discouraged by thr Psychiatrists lack of understanding and so desperately want to work with her to be able to heal and move on.Thanks!------------------------------------ "We each have our own way of living in the world, together we are like a symphony.Some are the

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