Post Divorce - point me in the right direction

[Guest guest]

Hi :

Do U remember what this article addressecd that her others online did not? It is

very possible we have it in our archives or I hold it privately. Helen or

others?

There was a flurry of articles years ago that became controversy to many in our

community that felt having AS in itself did not affect relationships or

parenting skills. Maybe the argument should have been framed differently? We now

know that issues like culture, social economic status, religion and past

experiences (how we are raised) are just a few things that influence are lives

that bleed over into our relationship ships, parenting and every part of our

lives. How could AS NOT affect those with it in terms of relationships or

parenting, work related events or just being? We are all unique and a sum of a

zillion different things.

I just reviewed a great film for one of my classes. The film is titled; I AM by

Tom Shadyac who directed films like Ace Ventura, Bruce Almighty & the Nutty

Professor. He was injured in a bicycle accident and suffered from depression

and suicide. When he healed, he set out on a journey. He had two questions:

what’s wrong with our world, and what can we do to make it better? It is a

fascinating film. . Some excerpts:

Ironically, in the process of trying to figure out what’s wrong with the world,

Shadyac discovered there’s more right than he ever imagined. He learned that the

heart, not the brain, may be man’s primary organ of intelligence, and that human

consciousness and emotions can actually affect the physical world, a point

Shadyac makes with great humor by demonstrating the impact of his feelings on a

bowl of yogurt. And, as Shadyac’s own story illustrates, money is not a pathway

to happiness. In fact, he even learns that in some native cultures, gross

materialism is equated with insanity.

Shadyac also discovers that, contrary to conventional thinking, cooperation and

not competition, may be nature’s most fundamental operating principle. Thus, I

AM shows consensus decision-making is the norm amongst many species, from

insects and birds to deer and primates. The film further discovers that humans

actually function better and remain healthier when expressing positive emotions,

such as love, care, compassion, and gratitude, versus their negative

counterparts, anxiety, frustration, anger and fear. Darwin may be best

known for popularizing the notion that nature is red in tooth and claw, but, as

Shadyac points out, he used the word love 95 times in The Descent of Man, while

his most famous phrase,survival of the fittest, appears only twice.

Sorry to get off topic. Here are some links to articles on Cassandra and

WELCOME to ASPIRES!

Affective Deprivation Disorder

http://www.maxineaston.co.uk/cassandra

Representing Cassandra in Matrimonial Law: Asperger's Syndrome in Separation and

Divorce

http://centralvalley.ca.networkofcare.org/dd/library/article.aspx?id=956

Growing up in an Asperger Family by Maxine Aston

Article first published in Counselling Children and Young People Summer 2005

http://www.maxineaston.co.uk/published/Asperger_Family.shtml

Cassandra

Syndrome<http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/My-Spouse-Or-Partner-Has-Asper\

gers-Syndrome/1668715>

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/My-Spouse-Or-Partner-Has-Aspergers-Synd\

rome/1668715

Best.

Maxine... used to have an excellent article on her website describing what she

called Cassandra Syndrome. That article really captured my personal experience.

It is no longer on her website and has been replaced by a workshop on the

subject. Does anyone have a copy or could you point me to something similar? Im

really discouraged by thr Psychiatrists lack of understanding and so desperately

want to work with her to be able to heal and move on.

Thanks!