Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Kathy, you have given a mouthful of wisdom. My mind understands it, and my heart won't cooperate. I know I can't undo the decision, but my heart wants to. That is why this is crying time. I will get through this. I am a strong woman, but I still need time to mourn the pain of giving him up. He and I were stuck together. It is difficult to unstick super glue. I love you dear, Imogene In a message dated 8/5/2008 5:34:01 PM Central Daylight Time, kathymjacobs@... writes: " This separation is so hard. Don called me, and wants to come home NOW! " Dear Imogene, Remember you are a wonderful caregiver, tried to avoid the nursing home and were overruled. You can't keep doing and undoing these decisions -- it's just too hard for you and for Don. You may need to let calls go to voice mail when he's in bad shape, and call back when you have verified he's not in crisis mode by checking with staff first. My heart breaks for you, because I know you care so deeply. If you can somehow manage to connect with him in his best moments you will make him happiest. Love you you, Kathy ------------------------------------ **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review?ncid=aolaut00050000000017 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 The little girl cried, and now the little girl is having a lemon drop of blush. Love you darling, Cyber Mom In a message dated 8/5/2008 5:58:25 PM Central Daylight Time, ladyandhertramp@... writes: oh yes be a child we all have an inner child in us and we never let him/her out enough to play, laugh, cry tantrum, you let that little girl out and let her have her fit and cry, lil imogene needs her time to grieve for you. i love you take care your cyber daughter sharon **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review?ncid=aolaut00050000000017 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Sweet , The woman at the Medicaid office said I would get both our checks, but it has to be on a piece of paper before I can go into a nice Senior's housing place near him. Right now it is the terible trial of hurry up and wait, and listening to him that doesn't understand. He has a bad case of sundowning every afternoon, and it is very hard to listen to the love of my life cry for me. Of course I want to respond. Like right now! It will be alright. We have less than two weeks to wait before I can even apply for a place. The wait is hard. Right now it seems like forever, and yet, I am a mature woman, it's nothing. Thanks for your support dear , I love you very much, Imogene In a message dated 8/5/2008 6:20:38 PM Central Daylight Time, octoryrose@... writes: {{{{{Imogene}}}}} :( You go right ahead and moan & groan - you have every right to... We're here for you to listen... I can't even fathom what you 2 love birds are feeling... I just hope the 20th will get here faster so you can find out what you can do financially in order to be closer to Don... Can't they put a rush on it?!?! Why does it have to take so long? Can't they give you a guesstimate?? And then you can find yourself a place now... I wish there was something that can be done now! :( I'm moaning w/ you.... **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review?ncid=aolaut00050000000017 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Sharon T, your letter is so precious!!! So true!! Thank you dear for understanding, and caring. I won't turn this computer off until I know exactly what I will be doing, and then it won't be off for long when I move. I am in the long haul with all of you. Yes, it's painful but that also will help me to better understand others and help them. Thank you dear, Imogene In a message dated 8/5/2008 6:39:43 PM Central Daylight Time, sythompson@... writes: Dear Imogene- you have every right to grieve and cry etc. You have massive changes in your life and its so very hard to make them. You've done the best you can do and will continue to do so. I hope you can keep the computer on till you get closer to the 20th- here you have friends to help and listen. Don't just cry til the 20th- keep in touch with people at least part of the time I lost my love of 25 years to Parkinsons- you don't stop loving because of disease- (of course you don't stop crying at the separation either) Give Don an extra hug when you see him next- love is so very precious- Take care of ourself and keep in touch Sharon T **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review?ncid=aolaut00050000000017 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 " This separation is so hard. Don called me, and wants to come home NOW! " Dear Imogene, Remember you are a wonderful caregiver, tried to avoid the nursing home and were overruled. You can't keep doing and undoing these decisions -- it's just too hard for you and for Don. You may need to let calls go to voice mail when he's in bad shape, and call back when you have verified he's not in crisis mode by checking with staff first. My heart breaks for you, because I know you care so deeply. If you can somehow manage to connect with him in his best moments you will make him happiest. Love you you, Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 <snip>Am I being just a child? You bet!! And, I am going to let myself be. Don is the man I love and am loosing. The pain can't be described. <snip> oh yes be a child we all have an inner child in us and we never let him/her out enough to play, laugh, cry tantrum, you let that little girl out and let her have her fit and cry, lil imogene needs her time to grieve for you. i love you take care your cyber daughter sharon Subject: Re: moaning and groaning To: LBDcaregivers Date: Tuesday, August 5, 2008, 10:18 PM Sweetheart,Courage, you have helped, as has others. was trying to figure out how to even house me, but it is a matter of time. Yet, right now, the time is so far away, when the wait is only until the 20th. Am I being just a child? You bet!! And, I am going to let myself be. Don is the man I love and am loosing. The pain can't be described. Thank you darling girl, I love you Courage, Imogene+ > > Dear Imogene, > > You have every right to moan and groan - every right!!!!!!! This damned disease has caused you and Don so much stress, pain and now separation. I wish I lived near by cause I'd be coming over to help in any way I can. I really hope that things get settled soon and that you can be near Don again. Sending you many, many comforting hugs. > Courage > > moaning and groaning > > > Hi everyone, > > The computer hasn't been shut off yet, obviously. I have been crying my head > off. > This separation is so hard. Don called me, and wants to come home NOW! Well, > it is " Sundowning " time, and it is hard to talk him down in a calm and > reassuring manner. So when I got off the phone I balled. I called my daughter and > she told me, " This is why he is there. He is confused, and Mom you can't > handle it " This is total agony!!! My mind knows what has to be done, but my heart > is crying. We just have to give ourselves time to adjust. I was going to be > so mature about all this. That just flew out the window. > > Can I join the crowd of moaners and groaners? > > Love > Imogene > > ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? > Read reviews on AOL Autos. > (http://autos. aol.com/cars- BMW-128-2008/ expert-review? ncid=aolaut00050000 000017 ) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 {{{{{Imogene}}}}} :( You go right ahead and moan & groan - you have every right to... We're here for you to listen... I can't even fathom what you 2 love birds are feeling... I just hope the 20th will get here faster so you can find out what you can do financially in order to be closer to Don... Can't they put a rush on it?!?! Why does it have to take so long? Can't they give you a guesstimate?? And then you can find yourself a place now... I wish there was something that can be done now! :( I'm moaning w/ you.... > > Hi everyone, > > The computer hasn't been shut off yet, obviously. I have been crying my head > off. > This separation is so hard. Don called me, and wants to come home NOW! Well, > it is " Sundowning " time, and it is hard to talk him down in a calm and > reassuring manner. So when I got off the phone I balled. I called my daughter and > she told me, " This is why he is there. He is confused, and Mom you can't > handle it " This is total agony!!! My mind knows what has to be done, but my heart > is crying. We just have to give ourselves time to adjust. I was going to be > so mature about all this. That just flew out the window. > > Can I join the crowd of moaners and groaners? > > Love > Imogene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Dear Imogene- you have every right to grieve and cry etc. You have massive changes in your life and its so very hard to make them. You've done the best you can do and will continue to do so. I hope you can keep the computer on till you get closer to the 20th- here you have friends to help and listen. Don't just cry til the 20th- keep in touch with people at least part of the time I lost my love of 25 years to Parkinsons- you don't stop loving because of disease- (of course you don't stop crying at the separation either) Give Don an extra hug when you see him next- love is so very precious- Take care of ourself and keep in touch Sharon T > > {{{{{Imogene}}}}} :( > > You go right ahead and moan & groan - you have every right to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2008 Report Share Posted August 6, 2008 Imogene, I can't imagine what you are going through right now. My hope is that time, as you said, will help you both. I wish you love and peace in your heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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