(article) Forgive and forget

[Guest guest]

Folks on the spectrum often have great difficulty with forgiveness. This seems

to be particularly true for those who are very literal black-and-white sort of

thinkers, easily given to rumination and obsessing about the (perceived) wrongs

done to them.

Remember, forgiveness is not about the other person -- it's about your own

health and happiness. Carrying around a grudge is pure poison for the spirit,

and really only hurts the bearer of the grudge.

This article is perhaps the best and most nuanced I've ever read on the topic.

The suggestions for achieving forgiveness are practical and very achievable for

those who are motivated to lay down their burden.

Forgive and forget

It's not always easy, but the benefits of forgiving -- and 'forgetting' -- can

be powerful. Some tips.

Excerpts:

" Despite the familiar cliche, 'forgive and forget,' most of us find forgetting

nearly impossible, " says Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet, PhD, associate professor of

psychology at Hope College. " Forgiveness does not involve a literal forgetting.

Forgiveness involves remembering graciously. The forgiver remembers the true

though painful parts, but without the embellishment of angry adjectives and

adverbs that stir up contempt. "

" When focused on unforgiving responses, their blood pressure surged, their heart

rates increased, brow muscles tensed, and negative feelings escalated, " she

says. " By contrast, forgiving responses induced calmer feelings and physical

responses. It appears that harboring unforgiveness comes at an emotional and a

physiological cost. Cultivating forgiveness may cut these costs. "

more...

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/forgive-and-forget

Enjoy (or not),

~CJ

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No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress,

you are still way ahead of everyone who isn't trying.