It all went wrong again...

August 20, 2012

Hi Becky:

I am sending you cyber hugs. I cannot offer any advise to you that others have

not already been given. It sounds like you are at a cross roads in your life.

Only you can decide what path to take. It sounds like from your words, and

forgive me if I did not read them correctly, that this relationship is draining

you emotionally?

This is one of many reasons why autism and other groups avoid the adult

community. One has little control over adults unless mandated treatment and

support from the court system. It is sad, but true. No one can force an adult

into treatment or support, and when it is mandated the results are not always

good if the adult in question refuses treatment or does not think they have a

problem or issue. This happens not just with autism but a zillion other issues.

It is always family members/well meaning friends who try to change the other

member to no avail. He/she has to be ready to hear the message and want to

change. Till that happens, you are just spinning your wheels into the ground on

deaf ears.

BUT you have a choice. Take some time. Can you go on living like this? What do

you need out of this relationship? What are things that you can accept and work

with, and what is non negotiable? Think about you and you deserve someone that

has your best interest at heart. How many more years of your life or you going

to give him hoping he will change enough to meet some of your needs? What is

that number? Thirty days, three months, three years? How much more of your life

do you want to invest hoping to get a return?

You deserve better! He is a big boy and needs to learn to take care of himself.

It sounds like he is driving you into the ground. Maybe a time out to distance

you from the relationship and get a fresh perspective might be in order? Just a

suggestion.

Care giver or partner? What role do you want to be in??????????

Take care of YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! You count! YOU are IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just my humble opinion.

Best

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