Re: Re: Tru TV shows show & SS Update

January 3, 2009

Not only did I have to post it but remember me saying I was awoken for whatever

reason to catch only enough to give me strength. I did not catch the begining so

what I am to asume is my subconcious mind is at work at all times and keys into

certain things. That in mind I had to post it. Sometimes miracles, information,

help, you name it, it just happens. When some things happen it is not always

ment for you. This is why those of us who believe in our God are asked to

communicate and I felt the need to do so.

I know that all sounds off the wall as a responce but it was the first thought

that came to mind and I went with it. I will probobly put the same responce to

your comment on the video as well.

I am tired y'all. I am doing all I can to continue and stay possative. I have to

also update everyone as to my first Social secerity hearing. What a rough road

this is and has been... You all know what dissabilities I went in with caused

by my exposure and since then my lower back has given out, my neck is right

behind it and so manny questions are yet to be answered. Yet when I stand before

the public at 42 I am told, you look like you are in your twenties by the court

clerk. This of course gave me a feeling of doom. If anything is funny about it

is her following comment was " you should feel lucky " I from that moment till

this very one as I type wonder, what could she have possibly thought could be

possative about that. Oh, and I could go on with all the senerios but in light

of makeing this teribly borring and turning it into a pitty party lets just say

as I sat infront of a judge, his expert medical witness , his vocational witness

and my lawyer I

couldnt help but wonder. What does all this mean for the rest of my life. None

of the words I would have liked to say and could have could come out. I dont

know where they were. I just felt it was over before it began.

The medical expert rteally suprised me. He didnt look at me and gave his opinion

which included alot of numbers and jargon I couldnt begin to understand but what

I did understand I felt he understood. While the focus was on my back and neck.

My pain and the like. He talked about my exposure, called it sick building

syndrome, chronic fatiuge and so much more. at the end I made one comment and he

held my hand to the table and gave me a small nod as if to say. I understand.

The vocational lady was not so helpful. She went as far as bringing up assembly

as a job I could do. I almost could hear the jaws of everyone hit the table.

HUH? In the end she admited she had no real idea of anything I could do.

There were a feqw other questions and comments but in the end the judge leaned

back in his chair, clasped his hands behind his head and said, this is a tuffy.

He would let me know of his decission. So with all this do I have anything to

report really? No. I shal go begin my day now just to the left of me, oh ya,

thats where I sleep, ahhhh the life.

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