Re: Bipolar and Aspergers.

May 25, 2012

CJ,

I think you give yourself too much responsibility for your husband's problems.

The other bipolar members here can pipe up on this one in case I'm wrong but my

understanding is that bipolar manifests itself in men sooner than it does in

women. Average age for men is late teens to late twenties and in women early

twenties to early thirties.

The other circumstance it may emerge is due to alcoholism or some medical event

or injury. My biploar friends tell me that in their young life they were very

outgoing, vivacious, " the life of the party. " They all say that it was probably

a manifestation of their bipolar, but they loved the highs and at the time they

didn't get too high, and they didn't experience the downs. Each of them had some

event (one was childbirth, one was a head injury, one was alcoholism, etc.) that

caused them to spike and have the mania.

Sadly one bipolar friend did commit suicide and it was a great shock to the

community. She was neither a drinker nor particularly over the top in her

presentation. She was deeply religious and had a lot of support in the

community. She was a loving person and a great organizer of group events in the

community. But apparently in the months leading up to the suicide those close to

her said that it seemed like the wind had been knocked out of her sails, she

seemed tired and more withdrawn. But no one imagined, given her faith, that she

would take her life. CJ, you don't know what demons your husband was struggling

with, he may have made it feel like it was your fault (ill people sometimes

blame those around them) but it had little to do with you.

Being an Aspie but unaware of it throughout most of your marriage, you may not

have noticed the nuances of your husband's neurodiversity until it began to show

its down side but I am sure they were always there.

- Helen

> I'm the Aspie. My (now late) husband was the Bipolar.

>

> We were both ignorant of my diagnosis during the 20 years we were

> married, and that ignorance lead to all sorts of misunderstandings about

> my character and commitment to the relationship. For my husband, the

> cumulative stresses finally awakened the predisposition for Bipolar

> Disorder that was sleeping quietly in his genes. He was diagnosed (with

> Bipolar II) only in the final years of his life.

>

> Best,

> ~CJ

>

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