Passing Privilege…

[Guest guest]

> They mentioned “passing privilege”, anyone that can pass for whatever is

perceived to be the status quo or normal has a better time in society of fitting

in and not being the target of discrimination from either society or from their

own group.

I think what needs to be added here is that the passing is done largely

without effort. Those who need to work at passing don't truly have

" passing privilege " .

In most situations, those who have the privilege may actually deny it,

as for them it's just their baseline normal and nothing special. They

may not truly realize that not everyone is extended the same courtesies

in the form of an assumption of credibility (until proven otherwise).

Male (especially white male) privilege is an excellent example of this

phenomenon. It's very common for white men to grouse and moan

dismissively about being referred to (by women, minorities, and

enlightened white men) as privileged when they don't feel privileged at all.

> Do you think “passing privilege” applies to our community? Personally, and

this is just my humble opinion, I think it does and keeps many from disclosing.

Why would you, when you can have the best of both worlds. Disclosing does not

happen once in your lifetime, it happens over and over again with different

results.

> Comments or thoughts?

I would definitely agree that " passing privilege " applies to the

neurodiversity community as well. On both sides of the fence.

For example, I can navigate the NT world without feeling the need to

disclose. For me, disclosure would only create more problems than it

solves. I may occasionally disclose particular traits for which I seek

increased tolerance, yet I never link them to a diagnostic label that

can easily be misunderstood and place me at a disadvantage.

Fortunately, I can fake NT well enough (although it is exhausting) that

I am extended NT " passing privilege " with the rest of the herd, although

the privilege is somewhat compromised by the reality that I cannot live

up to NT expectations for very long periods of time without taking a

break to recharge my batteries. This can be very stressful, as the need

for many breaks can easily position me at the rear of the pack, a major

issue in situations that are highly competitive.

I openly disclose within the neurodiversity community, as there is no

benefit to remaining closeted. Whether I disclose or not, I am often

regarded as a NT " outsider " anyway, so I may as well disclose. For me,

in order to have " passing privilege " within the neurodiversity

community, I feel that I must go out of my way to disclose my Aspie

deficits in order to prove myself as being a True Aspie worthy of

receiving the True Aspie membership card, instead of just another NT

masquerading in AS clothing.

As usual, I feel caught in the middle and belonging nowhere.

Best,

~CJ

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No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress,

you are still way ahead of everyone who isn't trying.

[Guest guest]

CJ

I so agree with you about being caught in the middle and belonging nowhere! Amen

sister!

~

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Many folks feel this way that are not AS. It is part of the life span process.

Fitting in is what we are conditioned to do. Operating out of the box makes us

unique and is supported in the USA because we are an individualist and

capitalist society. My views are different.

Just me.