Re: Montessori Exercises for People with Dementia/Imogene

November 5, 2008

Hi back at you, Jan,

The last two days were wonderful! Don and I even danced. I didn't realize it

but, I am doing exactly as you said. I am gently pulling him into the group.

I love the music and Don has been avoiding it, yet he loves music too. He

really tried to dance yesterday. I was so proud of him. I could see that

Parkinsonism was working in full force. He had a time making his legs move in

time

with the music, but that was alright. We didn't dance much. But, I am drawing

him into the fun.

I took today off, so that he doesn't call all the shots, and doesn't expect

me everyday. He will learn that I need alone time.

I never took Don to a hotel, but that is a good suggestion for beginners.

Don is finally getting adjusted to his bed. The other day I told him and his

room mate that I was proud of them for managing to put up with each other so

well. I was trying to help Don learn to accept another person in his room. He's

learning. He is beginning to accept other people.

The one thing he hated in the dining room was being assigned to a table with

a man that has said some nasty things to him. When I am there we dine at a

table alone.

Love a lot, and keep on keeping on smart lady,

Imogene

In a message dated 11/5/2008 3:32:11 PM Central Standard Time,

janetcolello@... writes:

Hi Imogene! Good to see you here. I am not so sure you want to do this with

Don, It takes some time and patients and a lot of your energy. I know you

have the patients, but how much work you want to get involved in to desensitize

Don to noise is the question. You know how I keep mentioning you need to do

like when you had kids and not let them manipulate you. It's easier said than

done. At preschool with new kids experiencing a class for the first time, you

need to put them into the situation they fear a step at a time. The first

day they will cry and scream, so you need to be understanding and gentle maybe

take them outside where it is more quiet, give them a quiet place where they

are comfortable, the next time you don't go outside, you find a distraction

inside to help them adjust and then you lead them to another thing. You find

the things they like to do and play with them until they adjust to that

situation and then you lead them into the next

thing sitting in a circle with lots of kids singing and noise. You take

steps at a time until they are desensitized and can join the classroom without

fear. Maybe have another teacher sit with them too, so they get used to that

teacher and talk about how that teacher is fun, so they get to like the other

teachers too, not just the one they bonded to.

With Don, you would have to slowly and gradually bring noise to him. At

first maybe in the nh familyroom where everyone gathers, at least that is where

everyone gathers where Jim is. It can get noisy and then make sure he is taken

to all the music activities with singing, piano whatever. If he doesn't want

to stay you say you like it and want to stay or something to that effect. If

he still fights it, you bring him out of the situation, but you bring him

back again the next time and stay a little longer, you stay a little longer

each time until finally he is having a good time and can stay for the entire

activity. You show you are having a good time too. They are like children and

can sense if you are not enjoying it, so why should they. Next step is the

dining hall, maybe get him a knit cap to pull down over his ears to muff the

sound a little, even ear muffs might help. LOL I put a knit cap on Jim's head

when he is cold, even inside. He likes to

wear it to bed too sometimes. So you might tell Don it is to keep his head

warm or something if he doesn't like to wear a knit cap. I know he is more of

a cowboy hat man. Does that kind of hat go over the ears? You might have to

get some kind of thing that muffs the sound for him, until he adjusts to it.

The thing is to not take them out of the situation, but adjust them to the

situation a step at a time. Do it with fun and ease, so they don't know you

are actually working on them. LOL It has worked for Jim. I took him to all the

outdoor summer concerts in the park last summer with lots of people and

noise, he enjoyed it. I take him to all kinds of social situations. I hear

others

say they can't take their LOs out of the house, they are confused and

paranoid. When I was first reading those things 5 years ago, I began

desensitizing

Jim so he would not get that way. I even took him to a hotel every 6 mos. when

he lived at home, so I could get some respite out of the house, even though

he was with me. He learned to accept being in different environments. I left

him in an Adult Day Care Program 2 days a week too. I could even leave him

in a facility for a week and take a vacation after he adjusted to being taken

to a hotel and to Adult Day Care. I

know they can learn if you work on it with them and not cater to them and

take them out of the situation they have a problem in, but at the same time be

gentle and understanding to their sensitivities and let them know you are

there.

Anyway, it's another preschool skill I used on Jim and it worked, so that it

is no problem to take him out of his environment. I also do similar

activities with Jim that shared about the Montessori Exercises to do

with

dementia patients.

Hope you and Don are having better times at the nh.

Love a lot, Jan

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November 5, 2008

Hi Imogene! Good to see you here. I am not so sure you want to do this with Don,

It takes some time and patients and a lot of your energy. I know you have the

patients, but how much work you want to get involved in to desensitize Don to

noise is the question. You know how I keep mentioning you need to do like when

you had kids and not let them manipulate you. It's easier said than done. At

preschool with new kids experiencing a class for the first time, you need to put

them into the situation they fear a step at a time. The first day they will cry

and scream, so you need to be understanding and gentle maybe take them outside

where it is more quiet, give them a quiet place where they are comfortable, the

next time you don't go outside, you find a distraction inside to help them

adjust and then you lead them to another thing. You find the things they like to

do and play with them until they adjust to that situation and then you lead them

into the next

thing sitting in a circle with lots of kids singing and noise. You take steps

at a time until they are desensitized and can join the classroom without fear.

Maybe have another teacher sit with them too, so they get used to that teacher

and talk about how that teacher is fun, so they get to like the other teachers

too, not just the one they bonded to.

With Don, you would have to slowly and gradually bring noise to him. At first

maybe in the nh familyroom where everyone gathers, at least that is where

everyone gathers where Jim is. It can get noisy and then make sure he is taken

to all the music activities with singing, piano whatever. If he doesn't want to

stay you say you like it and want to stay or something to that effect. If he

still fights it, you bring him out of the situation, but you bring him back

again the next time and stay a little longer, you stay a little longer each

time until finally he is having a good time and can stay for the entire

activity. You show you are having a good time too. They are like children and

can sense if you are not enjoying it, so why should they. Next step is the

dining hall, maybe get him a knit cap to pull down over his ears to muff the

sound a little, even ear muffs might help. LOL I put a knit cap on Jim's head

when he is cold, even inside. He likes to

wear it to bed too sometimes. So you might tell Don it is to keep his head warm

or something if he doesn't like to wear a knit cap. I know he is more of a

cowboy hat man. Does that kind of hat go over the ears? You might have to get

some kind of thing that muffs the sound for him, until he adjusts to it.

The thing is to not take them out of the situation, but adjust them to the

situation a step at a time. Do it with fun and ease, so they don't know you are

actually working on them. LOL It has worked for Jim. I took him to all the

outdoor summer concerts in the park last summer with lots of people and noise,

he enjoyed it. I take him to all kinds of social situations. I hear others say

they can't take their LOs out of the house, they are confused and paranoid. When

I was first reading those things 5 years ago, I began desensitizing Jim so he

would not get that way. I even took him to a hotel every 6 mos. when he lived at

home, so I could get some respite out of the house, even though he was with me.

He learned to accept being in different environments. I left him in an Adult Day

Care Program 2 days a week too. I could even leave him in a facility for a week

and take a vacation after he adjusted to being taken to a hotel and to Adult Day

Care. I

know they can learn if you work on it with them and not cater to them and take

them out of the situation they have a problem in, but at the same time be gentle

and understanding to their sensitivities and let them know you are there.

Anyway, it's another preschool skill I used on Jim and it worked, so that it is

no problem to take him out of his environment. I also do similar activities with

Jim that shared about the Montessori Exercises to do with dementia

patients.

Hope you and Don are having better times at the nh.

Love a lot, Jan

________________________________

To: LBDcaregivers

Sent: Wednesday, November 5, 2008 12:19:52 PM

Subject: Re: Montessori Exercises for People with Dementia/Jan C

Hi Jan C. I appreciate your letters very much. Please tell me what you

actually did to desensitize the children to the large classroom with teachers?

Don

has ears like a rabbit, and has always been sensitive to noises, and at

sometimes more than others. The NH dining hall is very noisy.

Love you lady,

Imogene

In a message dated 11/5/2008 10:13:46 AM Central Standard Time,

janetcolello@ yahoo.com writes:

Being a preschool teacher I use the same ideas with Jim. I found out long

ago that all my preschool teaching skills have come in handy with Jim. I have

been trying to get that point across many times that they can learn preschool

concepts. I have used preschool skills to desensitize Jim to crowds of people

and be able to take him out in crowds, even at the nursing home he is

comfortable. Many kids for the first time in a classroom full of kids and

strange

teachers are scared and uncomfortable, so I use my early childhood training

to get Jim through the process. (Remember, kids are taught these days not to

speak to strangers and then they are shoved into a class full of strangers,

there are 5 teachers in a class) Many situations for a person with LBD are

similar to a preschool age child. I saw that in the very beginning and started

using my skills. I would tell others our LOs are like two and three year olds

and to use the concepts for that age group,

because our LOs are at the other end of the scale and have gone full circle,

but some would say that the only difference is that the child end of the

scale is learning abilities and the elder end of the scale they are losing the

ability to learn, but I have seen Jim learn.

I can totally agree with this article that you have sent. Thank you, this

confirms everything that I have seen.

Jan C.

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November 6, 2008

Excellent Imogene! How wonderful that you and Don danced. It doesn't matter if

he can't get his feet to move in time to the music, it's that he is involved in

the fun and he's happy to be with you dancing and having a connection with you.

I dance with Jim too and he is in a wheelchair. We find a spot in the back of

the floor with space and I spin him around in his chair and push him out and

back in toward me and then we go round and he loves being a part of the fun. We

clap and hoot and holler. well, mostly I do, but it stimulates Jim to sing and

have fun. It makes life more interesting for him. Now, you've got the idea on

what I am talking about.

Jim sleeps better too after having some stimulation.

Sounds like Don is beginning to adjust to his surroundings. Imogene, I actually

have fun at the nh with Jim. There are some activities that Jim can not do like

the art work and coloring. He hates it, he knows he can only scribble and he is

embarrassed, so he doesn't do it and he can't process how to play Bingo or

dominoes, but I bring him into Bingo and Dominoes and I play the games. He likes

to be in there with all the people and watch. They give dimes for people that

win the games, so I give my dimes if I win to some of the residents. They like

to win the dimes, because they save them and then they have $1.00 or a little

more to spend on an outing to the Dollar Store or something. Jim always likes

the music entertainment and so do I (Where else can you get free

entertainment) and he loves to do the ball exercises that they have in

activities. I am so glad he likes the ball exercises and the dancing, because

the heavier he breathes from the

exercising the less he will have Pneumonia setting in.

There is a Spanish Speaking lady at the nh that annoys Jim. She is like a fly

buzzing around his head and he wants to swat at her. She seeks Jim out all the

time and he dislikes her near him. I don't know much Spanish, but one day she

wheeled up next to me and kept saying something and touching her head while

looking at Jim. You could tell by the body language that she was saying that Jim

has lost his mind or has dementia. I believe that Jim picked up on it too,

because ever since that day, he has wanted her way far away from him. I and the

nurse will push her to the far end of the hall and like a boomrang, she comes

right back to Jim. She is the only one that Jim has problems with.

Keep up the good work Imogene and have fun with Don. I like to do all I can with

Jim while he still can and give him some kind of life.

Huge Hugs....................Jan

________________________________

To: LBDcaregivers

Sent: Wednesday, November 5, 2008 4:48:41 PM

Subject: Re: Montessori Exercises for People with

Dementia/Imogene