Re: Journal of Best Practices

[Guest guest]

Hi. I have read the Journal of Best Practices and was also able to attend a presentation by Finch and his wife. Both the book and presentation were excellent and I found them very helpful.

I'm still working with my AS partner to get through the book together. He first learned of his diagnosis about 3 or 4 months ago. It is taking awhile to read it with him because his attention span for it is quite short. Sometimes he falls asleep after I read one page, but will be wide awake the next minute when he starts talking about his special interest! But all in all, I think it is having a positive effect on him as well. At first he was hesitant to read it. He told me that it was like watching himself in a train wreck and told me that he didn't want to learn about his deficiencies. I emphasized the book's very positive overall message to him (That learning about AS helped

this couple save their marriage) and that seemed to improve his willingness to read it.

My partner was very hesitant about change too. He asked me "What if I can't?" I told him that I understood that change would be difficult and that even small, little things could make a big positive difference. I told him that even if he couldn't change, I'd still be very happy just to see that he was a least going to give it a try. A fear of failure may have made him hesitant to try to change. I told him that he couldn't fail because even trying would be a success.

What we are doing seems to be working. My partner has been calling me more often (We don't live together). He asks me "How are you?". He has been better about responding when I e-mail him, and has offered to help me unload the dishwasher without prompting. I think he is also starting to see how doing these things pays off for him in terms of a happier girlfriend! In general over the past few months, he seems to have become more and more able to accept the diagnosis and acknowledge that AS has presented difficulties for him.

Just like Ellen's spouse, my boyfriend has also has always known that he was different, he just didn't know that it was a specific condition. He thought that he was the only one and is now a little disappointed to learn that there are so many others like him!

Annette

[Guest guest]

Ah, second time is the charm. Thank you for your feedback!

- Helen

>

> Hi.  I have read the Journal of Best Practices and was also able to attend a

> presentation by Finch and his wife.  Both the book and presentation were

> excellent and I found them very helpful. 

>

>  

> I'm still working with my AS partner to get through the book together.  He

first

> learned of his diagnosis about 3 or 4 months ago.  It is taking awhile to read

> it with him because his attention span for it is quite short.  Sometimes he

> falls asleep after I read one page, but will be wide awake the next minute

when

> he starts talking about his special interest!  But all in all, I think it is

> having a positive effect on him as well.  At first he was hesitant to read

it. 

> He told me that it was like watching himself in a train wreck and told me that

> he didn't want to learn about his deficiencies.  I emphasized the book's very

> positive overall message to him (That learning about AS helped this

couple save

> their marriage) and that seemed to improve his willingness to read it.   

>

>  

> My partner was very hesitant about change too.  He asked me " What if I

can't? "  

> I told him that I understood that change would be difficult and that even

small,

> little things could make a big positive difference.  I told him that even if

he

> couldn't change, I'd still be very happy just to see that he was a least going

> to give it a try.  A fear of failure may have made him hesitant to try to

> change.   I told him that he couldn't fail because even trying would be a

> success. 

>

>  

> What we are doing seems to be working.  My partner has been calling me more

> often (We don't live together).  He asks me " How are you? " . He has been better

> about responding when I e-mail him, and has offered to help me unload the

> dishwasher without prompting.  I think he is also starting to see how doing

> these things pays off for him in terms of a happier girlfriend!  In general

over

> the past few months, he seems to have become more and more able to accept the

> diagnosis and acknowledge that AS has presented difficulties for him. 

>

>  

> Just like Ellen's spouse, my boyfriend has also has always known that he

> was different, he just didn't know that it was a specific condition.  He

thought

> that he was the only one and is now a little disappointed to learn that there

> are so many others like him!

>  

> Annette

>