Update on Mom

[Guest guest]

Well, it seems that nothing's changed much. Mom's still eating and

drinking erratically, has a few lucid moments (or so it would seem

until you ask her something), and all her vitals are good.

It's been more of a slow downhill slide over the past 10 months. She

has lost all ability to walk or even support weight on her legs. She

must now be lifted for everything. Incontinence occurs occasionally,

but most of the time she complains that she is unable to urinate.

She's had multiple testings and there is nothing physiologically

wrong. The problem is the cognitive processes.

I went over on Sunday to take their groceries to them, and she had a

large abraded area on her left temple and left cheek. I asked her

what happened, and she said, " oh, I fell. " I was upset, and asked

Dad how it happened. He said, " I was just sitting in my chair

reading the paper, or maybe I was working a word search puzzle, and

suddenly she fell. " Well, of course, I know what had happened. He

had fallen asleep in his chair, and she took that opportunity to get

up from her recliner and try to get into her wheelchair again. She

can't comprehend that she can't walk, or even bear weight on her

legs. She keeps insisting that she's getting stronger.

I can't seem to make Dad understand that she HAS TO BE WATCHED 24/7.

She is so unpredictable, and has the thought processes now of a very

young child. And that's when she's not in Lewyville.

And Dad is becoming a...well, what would you call him?...a situation

in his own right. He won't remember to give Mom her meds when my ex-

wife isn't there, even when I call and remind him to do it. He was

diagnosed with depression a few years back, and he plays it to the

hilt when it suits him. He takes Prozac for depression, but when

he's wanting to get sympathy, he tells me that he's quit taking it.

When Mom came home from the hospital last February, he gave a gun to

me, a gun to my brother, and a rifle to my son. He said that it

wasn't safe to have them there. Now he's asking for his gun back

from me. Well, this is the man who has threatened to kill himself

once Mom is gone. How in the hail (yes, I'm in Oklahoma) can I give

that gun back to him??? He says he needs it for protection. Mind

you, my parents live in an older, very settled neighborhood that has

never had any crime at all. I talked with my sister about it, and

she agrees with me. She said, " you know, they have enough drugs in

that house to overdose themselves. " I said, " well, I don't have to

enable them to do it. "

I wish I could write something positive, something uplifting,

something to give myself and other here some hope. I'm just not

hopeful about much of anything any longer. I read all I can find

about LBD, I read about advances in medicine that might help, and

yet, I have to be realistic and continuously remind myself that with

LBD, " normal " is redefined daily.

But, on a positive note, my younger brother had his third brain

surgery to remove a glioblastoma multiformae brain tumor. He had the

surgery the first part of this month, and the surgeons are confident

that they were able to remove 100% of the tumor. He will undergo

chemo as a precautionary measure, but the prognosis is good. It

won't fix what has already been compromised by the tumor

(prosopagonia, which is an inability to recognize faces; some hearing

loss; some cognitive thought processes), but he is getting healthier

and hopefully will regain some of the muscle mass he lost. He's got

such a wonderfully positive outlook, and still has a wicked sense of

humor. I told him it was a good thing he had more brain power than

most people at the beginning of this.

Anyway, this is just an update, and I guess a way of letting it out

so that I can deal with it in a (more or less) rational manner.

We're all on this ride, without even buying the ticket, aren't we?

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan, my heart goes out to you and your poor Dad, I have tears in my eyes

after reading your post. Your dream is so moving! And maybe your Mom IS getting

ready to go to Glory Land -who knows what kind of messages people with LBD get

from the other side? Enjoy those sunny moments of normalcy. They are to

be wonderful memories.

God bless you and your Dad and family. Hugs,

Raquel