What I Wish I'd Done Differently

[Guest guest]

What I Wish I'd Done Differently

July 7, 2008

by Jane Gross

(Source: NY Times) - In this article writer Jane Gross reflects on

her biggest mistakes caring for her aging mother. She says:

* Mistake Number One: Not finding a doctor with expertise in

geriatrics to quarterback her mother's care and attend to the quality

of her life, not merely its length.

* Mistake Number Two: Accepting the conventional wisdom that nursing

homes are terrible places, to be avoided under any and all

circumstances, and that assisted-living communities could accommodate

her mother's needs until the end of her life.

* Mistake Number Three: Being gleeful when her mother chose to sell

her home and move to Florida. Once she no longer had a home, the

option of home care was lost. Eventually a nursing home was the only

choice.

* Mistake Number Four: Not understanding the limits of long-term care

insurance.

There is no way to predict the future and anticipate all the

possibilities, but Gross explained, " Physicians, social workers, case

managers, lawyers and financial advisers with expertise in old age

are the best guides. And haste, often the result of panic, is the

enemy. "

Go to full story:

http://tinyurl.com/5quay2

[Guest guest]

I've been following Jane Gross's " The New Old Age: Caring and Coping "

blogs for awhile. Almost all are terrific. Of the recent ones,

there's a good blog about taking away the car keys and a funny blog

about " how many of you expect to die? "

>

> What I Wish I'd Done Differently

> July 7, 2008

> by Jane Gross

>

> (Source: NY Times) - In this article writer Jane Gross reflects on

> her biggest mistakes caring for her aging mother. She says:

>

> * Mistake Number One: Not finding a doctor with expertise in

> geriatrics to quarterback her mother's care and attend to the

quality

> of her life, not merely its length.

>

> * Mistake Number Two: Accepting the conventional wisdom that

nursing

> homes are terrible places, to be avoided under any and all

> circumstances, and that assisted-living communities could

accommodate

> her mother's needs until the end of her life.

>

> * Mistake Number Three: Being gleeful when her mother chose to sell

> her home and move to Florida. Once she no longer had a home, the

> option of home care was lost. Eventually a nursing home was the

only

> choice.

>

> * Mistake Number Four: Not understanding the limits of long-term

care

> insurance.

>

> There is no way to predict the future and anticipate all the

> possibilities, but Gross explained, " Physicians, social workers,

case

> managers, lawyers and financial advisers with expertise in old age

> are the best guides. And haste, often the result of panic, is the

> enemy. "

>

> Go to full story:

> http://tinyurl.com/5quay2

>

[Guest guest]

You're right, she's good...

Her first page reads:

" ... The venting is welcome, and it points to the terrible isolation

of this task, especially for those, like myself, who could talk of

little else while it was going on. I regularly emptied rooms when

someone asked how I was doing. I had so little self-control that I

answered with exhaustive and generally unwelcome detail. Soon, I

learned to avoid social situations rather than behave

inappropriately. "

Ain't THAT the truth?! LOL

Here's a link to her blog everyone:

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/

>

> I've been following Jane Gross's " The New Old Age: Caring and

Coping "

> blogs for awhile. Almost all are terrific. Of the recent ones,

> there's a good blog about taking away the car keys and a funny blog

> about " how many of you expect to die? "