Some of those partners *may be the cause* of - the triggers for - AS misbehavior.

[Guest guest]

But " able " to change is one thing, " willing " is quite another. This is where

trust in each other is the " essential " part. Without mutual trust, the

relationship is a fiction.

I personally agree with this. Both parties have to agree this relationship is

worth working on. Our timetables might be different?? We all seem to get to

the mountain on our own time table??? The trick is, do you both have what it

takes to travel the same path and give each other space to make the journey at

the same time?

Just me.

[Guest guest]

I agree with both of you.... What you say below is

not incompatible with what Bill said... (in my opinion).

You are right, people do need to learn to deal with their

triggers. And sometimes that means staying away from some

people, maybe even a spouse.

Absolutely. And sometimes dealing with the trigger is saying to a

partner: "When you do this it makes me feel that." Give him the

chance to explain he didn't mean it that way or to change his

behavior. I am blessed to have a significant other who does both.

It's taken a long time and a lot of misunderstandings for me to

trust him enough to speak up, but it makes life so much better.

Andromeda