Re: Motivation

[Guest guest]

Jon,

The best advice I can give you is to take it in small steps, and as long as

you are making progress, either in your health or towards a closer alignment

to the program, you should feel good about the changes you have made as

small as they might be.

On Monday I start my 12th week. Its a milestone for me as the first time in

a very very long time--since my early 20's-- that I have put together the

combined program of diet and exercise. Many times over the past 20 years I

have dieted, and exercised, but never together for a full cycle. I once

followed the Body for Life diet alone and lost about 35lb+ of fat, with no

regular exercise. It took 6 months, but it was progress. Though I gained a

lot of that back, I never returned to my peak weight. I won't be winning

any contests with my recent progress, but it is still progress. All these

imperfect experiences in the past are helping me to follow a healthy regime

more perfectly.

I suggest that you start small. Get the diet in order first and make small

improvements that bring you closer to the program. Force yourself to make

small improvements every week. ie: Switch from 2% to skim milk. I

recently dumped cheese altogether, even for the EFL recipes, because I can't

get low fat Cheddar in Europe. Exercise is critical, but it is what we put

in our body bodies that make us what we are.

Finally, I hope your not offended by this, but if you are unable to make a

break through, you might think about seeing a therapist. A number of your

posts over the last few months seem to suggest your struggling with some

emotional issues that are keeping you back. Even your email address seems

filled with despair. If I have misread this, my apologies, but it is very

hard to move forward if you can't feel good about yourself.

Best of luck to you.

--

Kurnik

http://expat-wanderlust.blogspot.com/

[Guest guest]

To quote the Beatles, " I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all

together.. " You aren't any different than most of us. I can't stay on track,

I guess the thing is, and maybe you aren't there yet, but you sound close,

there comes a day when you realize it's on you and only you. No pill is

going to come along or magic diet then I think, at least for me, it kicks in

you're the driver, you have all the control. The worst part is, it doesn't

happen over night. I get derailed when in a week I don't see changes. OK

stop looking in the mirror at the jiggly parts, get AWAY from the scale,

hide it. I get dressed, do a quite look in the mirror to make sure I match

and have the same shoes on both feet, no more. The scale, hidden away no

longer mocking me. Oh yes I have that voice, when I am in the bathroom at

work, and go to leave and there on the back of the door is the full length

mirror and that voice is in my head saying the meanest things about my

backside, tell it to shut the heck up and walk away.

Make sure you have all your foods prepped. I go to have an omelet and see oh

no I need to cut up the green pepper, the mushrooms, etc.. and I just don't

have the time so I turn to something bad, lesson learned I cut up ahead of

time. I plan my meals the night before. Right before I fall asleep I tell

myself what workout I'm doing in the morning.

The most important thing, you get support by joining a great group like

this! Hang in the the rewards are great, I just know it, I'm not even close

but I know it's coming.

> I look in the mirror and I am unhappy with what I see. I know I should

> do something. I make a plan. In the midstof all of that I can't sustain

> motivation. What am I doing wrong? Not sure the best way to go. I guess

> if I mess up I throw in the towel. I know it's wrong, but am having

> difficulty stopping the cycle.

>

> J

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

J,

What works for me is I try to take on a small portion of my plan at a time. If

it means just getting thru one day, that's what you do. You are most likely

looking for immediate physical results, which won't happen. But look at your

accomplishments - complete one day of your plan and that is an accomplishment,

give yourself positive input, THAT is actually a good result. Maybe not the

physical reult you want to see in your body after one day, but one day's

completed tasks. I too sound off on how I've not met the image I had in my head

or don't meet my bfl eating needs that I should. My point is there will always

be something to complain about. That's a given, but you need to be stronger

than those things in your head that are trying to distract you from your goals.

Bitch about it if you need to (I know I do) but don't give up. Take a look at

the before and after photos of the people in this group or others in the BFL

book. I'll bet you'll find someone who looked similar to what you now look

like, so try to connect with that person and know that they had to push just

like you're having to. My new thing that I say to myself when I start getting

down about it is ~ How bad do I want it? ~ Which pain feels better? ~ Who

better to do this for me but me? ~ Show the love you have for yourself by taking

care of yourself, that's the bottom line. No one else can come in and wave a

magic wand and make us perfect. Perfection doesn't exist but happiness does -

find your happiness and let that help give you strength to get the work done in

order to manifest the physical portion of your journey. You and only you can do

the work, we can give you support.

Now what are the words you hear when you want to give up?

Dana Anne

Motivation

I look in the mirror and I am unhappy with what I see. I know I should

do something. I make a plan. In the midstof all of that I can't sustain

motivation. What am I doing wrong? Not sure the best way to go. I guess

if I mess up I throw in the towel. I know it's wrong, but am having

difficulty stopping the cycle.

J

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[Guest guest]

J,

Remember...

P n p!

G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Motivation

I look in the mirror and I am unhappy with what I see. I know I should

do something. I make a plan. In the midstof all of that I can't sustain

motivation. What am I doing wrong? Not sure the best way to go. I guess

if I mess up I throw in the towel. I know it's wrong, but am having

difficulty stopping the cycle.

J

[Guest guest]

Dana Anne,

Wow! Thank you for sharing your insight!

Your reply spoke to me, too.

[Guest guest]

,

My reply should have been to you and Dana Anne.

Forgive me.

[Guest guest]

/ Jon,

One key element of BFL is the ability to view and celebrate your wins. That

seems to be a big factor in keeping the motivation turned on and moving forward.

It is easier to accept when you start receiving external compliments about your

body changes, however, if you can narrow down your view to the smallest of

elements... a better feeling, less winded, slightly less pain in the joint or

muscle, a little higher weight used, an improvment in blood pressure, more

stamina, or basically any and every single area in life that you can FORCE

yourself to notice a positive change, DO SO.

A more positive mental attitude begets soooo much more than weight loss, and if

you learn to seek the silver lining in every event, I assure you your attitude

and subsequently, your emotional response to just about any issue will be met

with a more positive response.

This was an absolute truth that I had experienced when actively engaged. As I

let my old lifestyle slip back into place, my mindset was less than positively

focused, and my results in all of life have suffered the consequences, not only

my weight.

I am in no way discounting or changing your suggestions, , however, I am,

once again, possibly posting this for my own benefit, as much as I am for

others.

So, I too, take this aspect VERY seriously as I try to begin, anew, with the

program.

Remember,

Progress, NOT perfection!

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so glad it made sense and spoke to you.

I think that it is a battle of the wills and that's pretty much it.

Dana Anne

Re: Motivation

Dana Anne,

Wow! Thank you for sharing your insight!

Your reply spoke to me, too.

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AM

[Guest guest]

Very laughable at best. ....a therapist. When you get your Phd and

have at least 15 years of experience under your belt than maybe you

can make that suggesstion!

I haven't struggle in a long time and now I am. Need to find a way

that sparks me! Thats it

So Freud go plays with your slips and bra!!

J

>

> Jon,

>

> The best advice I can give you is to take it in small steps, and as

long as

> you are making progress, either in your health or towards a closer

alignment

> to the program, you should feel good about the changes you have

made as

> small as they might be.

>

> On Monday I start my 12th week. Its a milestone for me as the

first time in

> a very very long time--since my early 20's-- that I have put

together the

> combined program of diet and exercise. Many times over the past 20

years I

> have dieted, and exercised, but never together for a full cycle. I

once

> followed the Body for Life diet alone and lost about 35lb+ of fat,

with no

> regular exercise. It took 6 months, but it was progress. Though I

gained a

> lot of that back, I never returned to my peak weight. I won't be

winning

> any contests with my recent progress, but it is still progress.

All these

> imperfect experiences in the past are helping me to follow a

healthy regime

> more perfectly.

> I suggest that you start small. Get the diet in order first and

make small

> improvements that bring you closer to the program. Force yourself

to make

> small improvements every week. ie: Switch from 2% to skim milk. I

> recently dumped cheese altogether, even for the EFL recipes,

because I can't

> get low fat Cheddar in Europe. Exercise is critical, but it is

what we put

> in our body bodies that make us what we are.

>

> Finally, I hope your not offended by this, but if you are unable

to make a

> break through, you might think about seeing a therapist. A number

of your

> posts over the last few months seem to suggest your struggling with

some

> emotional issues that are keeping you back. Even your email

address seems

> filled with despair. If I have misread this, my apologies, but it

is very

> hard to move forward if you can't feel good about yourself.

>

> Best of luck to you.

>

> --

>

>

> Kurnik

> http://expat-wanderlust.blogspot.com/

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I once had a professor that asked us the difference between a BS, MS

and a Phd. We all sat and thought about it. Was it the difference in

years, the difference in money, or the difference in requirements??

The professor then told us the difference. A BS is Baic S & #t, a MS is

More S%$t, and a Phd is Piled Higher and Deeper.

Telling someone they need a therapist is an insult. I have never in

my life have taken an insult and hid in the corner. Just won't happen.

There are so many other suggestions he could of come up with. OR he

could of suggested that to me in private.

As Jesus said " before you attempt to take the spec of sawdust from

your brothers eye you need to take the great big plank from your own!

J

> >

> > Jon,

> >

> > The best advice I can give you is to take it in small steps, and

as

> long as

> > you are making progress, either in your health or towards a

closer

> alignment

> > to the program, you should feel good about the changes you have

> made as

> > small as they might be.

> >

> > On Monday I start my 12th week. Its a milestone for me as the

> first time in

> > a very very long time--since my early 20's-- that I have put

> together the

> > combined program of diet and exercise. Many times over the past

20

> years I

> > have dieted, and exercised, but never together for a full cycle.

I

> once

> > followed the Body for Life diet alone and lost about 35lb+ of

fat,

> with no

> > regular exercise. It took 6 months, but it was progress. Though I

> gained a

> > lot of that back, I never returned to my peak weight. I won't be

> winning

> > any contests with my recent progress, but it is still progress.

> All these

> > imperfect experiences in the past are helping me to follow a

> healthy regime

> > more perfectly.

> > I suggest that you start small. Get the diet in order first and

> make small

> > improvements that bring you closer to the program. Force yourself

> to make

> > small improvements every week. ie: Switch from 2% to skim milk. I

> > recently dumped cheese altogether, even for the EFL recipes,

> because I can't

> > get low fat Cheddar in Europe. Exercise is critical, but it is

> what we put

> > in our body bodies that make us what we are.

> >

> > Finally, I hope your not offended by this, but if you are unable

> to make a

> > break through, you might think about seeing a therapist. A number

> of your

> > posts over the last few months seem to suggest your struggling

with

> some

> > emotional issues that are keeping you back. Even your email

> address seems

> > filled with despair. If I have misread this, my apologies, but it

> is very

> > hard to move forward if you can't feel good about yourself.

> >

> > Best of luck to you.

> >

> > --

> >

> >

> > Kurnik

> > http://expat- wanderlust. blogspot. com/

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

We should have known a lacrosse connection. This guy should have been

banned sooner. Thanks for taking care of it. I don't get why he keeps

coming back year after year after year.

Andy

>

> You're welcome. Looks like Andy deleted that post too.

>

> Ya, I don't get it. Andy does a stellar job of keeping the trolls

out. You

> should see the membership requests that come in.

>

> Brett

[Guest guest]

Hi Shan,

Oh wow, that never really occurred to me that it might be cultural. And of

course I did not know where you are from anyway. I went back and reread the

article and the " baby " thing was pretty much the only thing I found off putting

and I thought when you were talking about having orders barked at you you were

referring to the way she behaves on the Biggest Loser tv show as I didn't find

the article that way at all. I am used to reading various tips and didn't find

hers offensive or out of the ordinary. Not sure how else she could have tried

to word it differently so as not to be offensive.

Here in the US I am actually considered rather reserved and sedate myself.

Uptight some might say. As well as being older myself (56). I have always been

somewhat shy and withdrawn but have come out of my shell somewhat as I have

matured.

I have just submitted a couple of more " motivational tips " (one from Jillian)

before I read your post. Perhaps you may not want to read them if " our " way of

giving tips offends you as that is surely not my intent. I am wanting to be

helpful to others, especially during the holiday season, to find ways to be able

to stay motivated to stay on task and look at the bigger picture. The holidays

are always so food oriented and for many (myself included) with all of the

" goodies " (sweets are my biggest downfall-----Mmmm, I love Christmas cookies,

fudge, eggnog and all of the other goodies which abound at this time of year!)

around I need to be reminded of strategies to help me keep my ultimate goal in

mind. Merry Christmas to everyone(however everyone celebrates and whichever

holiday you happen to celebrate) and Happy New Year. Can hardly believe 2010 is

nearly here. Time really does fly! (And I notice it goes faster and faster the

older I get!) Darlene

>

> Darlene I think on reflection that a lot of this was cultural. I'm a Brit

> and an older one at that. There was a lot on that which was instantly

> offensive to me but maybe isn't to Americans.

> There's a kind of 'jolliness' to a lot of American public communication that

> isn't comfortable for my lot. It's as if Americans in public communication

> are powerful excited children throwing ideas, techniques, strategies at each

> other.

>

> It's all very highly coloured, fast, aggressive, thumping and breathtaking

> from our point of view. It feels like I've been jostled in a big turbulent

> crowd where everyone either is young or is supposed to act like they're

> young.

>

> I like Americans as individuals. One to one they're slower, quieter. Perhaps

> they politely slow down for me! Anyway it's the public American context

> that's overwhelming.

>

> One American friend once shocked me by saying you know Shan among the Brits

> you're considered as very like an American. You're forceful, achieving,

> colourful, fantastic, cute, funny, sexy, and vigorous. But from our point of

> view you're just a lively Brit - and the emphasis is on the Brit.

>

> I wonder. We must seem a pale people. Grey beige, restrained, hard to make

> out maybe? elder even if young, hidden sexuality, quiet, stuck, unambitious.

>

> Hard to imagine.

>

> Shan

>