Newbie

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Jackie! Hope all goes well on Friday.

Jodi, 's Mom

(9) dx PSC 6-99

From: JKosiorek@...

Reply-To: egroups

To: egroups

Subject: Re: Newbie

Date: Mon, 27 Sep 1999 20:15:26 EDT

Hello All:

My name is Jackie. My husband (31) is having another endoscopy this Friday

to see if he has PSC. The first didn't show any signs, but now they are

inflating a balloon and applying pressure to get into the smaller ducts?!?!

He was diagnosed with UC after an emergency coloctemy in 1991.

Jackie

(land)

[Guest guest]

Hello Jackie,

Where in land do you live? I live close to Baltimore.

Larry

[Guest guest]

Hello Jackie,

Where in land do you live? I live close to Baltimore.

Larry

[Guest guest]

Welcome ne,

Glad you found this group, we will be here for you and will help you

as much as possible.

My name is Kim, I've had MS for almost 3 years now.

I am 33, married with 2 younger kids (6 and 4). We live in Nebraska.

As a matter of fact my father and his wife live in Florida (on the

east side near Vero Beach...south of there actually).

I am on Betaseron, but there are others in this group that take the

Avonex, so hang in there and someone will help you with that subject.

Being diagnosed is overwhelming at the beginning...but over a period

of time the immediate stress eases.

It's not a fun thing to have, but atleast there is a place where

people can talk and meet others experiencing the same thing so we can

chat about it.

Anyway, wanted to welcome you.

Take care and hang in there!

God Bless,

Kim in Nebr.

---- Original Message ----

From: sms522@...

To: mserslife

Subject: RE: Newbie

Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2004 15:01:45 -0400

>Hi. My name is ne, 56 y/o and I live in Florida with my husband

>Jim and daughter . I was a scrub nurse in surgery for thirty

>years

>and then in 1994 I got DVT (clots) and had to give up my career. In

>April 2002, I was working as a telephone operator but the swelling

>and

>pain in my legs was so bad I had to quit. I applied for SSDI and now

>I

>am waiting for a hearing with a judge.Three months ago I had a small

>stroke and afterward my equilibrium was really off. I kept falling

>and

>catching myself on walls or furniture. A neurologist was called in

>and

>he told me to make a appt in a few weeks but that I was not to walk

>without a walker. A few weeks later I ended up in the hospital for a

>week with a clot in my right leg and five clots in my left leg. Now

>I

>am on Coumadin therapy for 6 months to dissolve the clots. I finally

>made it to the neurologist and he ran tests and said that my brain

>stem

>was fine but my brain was not. After the MRI's were done, he

>discovered two lesions. One on the end of my right optic nerve and

>one

>in the right side of my brain. They also found a herniated disc in

>my

>back but I have no symptoms, so I'm not doing anything about it. He

>ran

>a bunch more tests with a TVset and checkerboard flashing etc. The

>follow-up visit was supposed to be a lumbar puncture and they were

>all

>ready to do it and he walked in the room and cancelled. It can't be

>done while I am on coumadin therapy to dissolve my clots, because it

>could cause a hematoma in or around the spinal cord and I could be

>paralyzed. I have very short term memory, I start to talk to

>someone

>and forget what I was going to say or say half a sentence and then

>just

>forget I was talking. I call things the wrong things like I tell the

>family to rinse their plates off and put them in the microwave

>(meaning

>dishwasher). I talk dyslexic is what I call it. I'll be going

>somewhere and say to my daughter that we have to go in the milk and

>go

>buy some car. I'm light-headed 90% of the time or dizzy. And I have

>tremors in my hands that they gave me anti-seizure medicine for. I

>can't write at all and now I just started dropping things. I started

>my

>first shot of Avonex last Friday evening. I thought I had died and

>gone

>to hell. It took me until Wednesday before I was back to my normal

>again. This is all new and very scary to me but I supposed most of

>you

>are used to it. I decided to join this group and listen to others

>and

>maybe I can learn some things about MS. Like how long the Avonex

>reacts

>like that until your body gets used it. Thanks for letting me join

>and

>I really apologize for the length of this e-mail.

>ne

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Suzanne!

I am Sam, also a nurse (you never really stop being one..).

Many of the symptoms are things that we've experienced with MS. I'm

happy to tell you that for me, the tremors and weekness got much better

when I was on first gabapentin (didn't tolerate it, light-headed,

dizzy, frequent falls), tegretol, and finally trileptal. My word

craziness has gotten some better- and a lot of it, I've been told, can

be attributed to both the meds and the stress of the illness. We've

gotten some great laughs at it!

For me, when I started the effects of the Avonex usually lasted for 48

hours or so, and improves to 24 and finally hardly anything; using

scheduled acetomenophen and ibuprophen and also codeine helped me a

lot, but I still am conscious that I may get the "avonex flu." The

improvement in ataxia, decrease in falls, and improvement in strength

and coordination are definately noticeable and worthwhile for me.

Ask any questions, we'll be glad to share. One of the things we do know

is that MS affects us all differently; but we surely can let you know

what's worked for us, support you as needed, and perhaps direct you in

finding answers to your questions.

Sam

sms522@... wrote:

Hi. My name is ne, 56 y/o and I live in Florida with my husband

Jim and daughter . I was a scrub nurse in surgery for thirty years

and then in 1994 I got DVT (clots) and had to give up my career. In

April 2002, I was working as a telephone operator but the swelling and

pain in my legs was so bad I had to quit. I applied for SSDI and now I

am waiting for a hearing with a judge.Three months ago I had a small

stroke and afterward my equilibrium was really off. I kept falling and

catching myself on walls or furniture. A neurologist was called in and

he told me to make a appt in a few weeks but that I was not to walk

without a walker. A few weeks later I ended up in the hospital for a

week with a clot in my right leg and five clots in my left leg. Now I

am on Coumadin therapy for 6 months to dissolve the clots. I finally

made it to the neurologist and he ran tests and said that my brain stem

was fine but my brain was not. After the MRI's were done, he

discovered two lesions. One on the end of my right optic nerve and one

in the right side of my brain. They also found a herniated disc in my

back but I have no symptoms, so I'm not doing anything about it. He ran

a bunch more tests with a TVset and checkerboard flashing etc. The

follow-up visit was supposed to be a lumbar puncture and they were all

ready to do it and he walked in the room and cancelled. It can't be

done while I am on coumadin therapy to dissolve my clots, because it

could cause a hematoma in or around the spinal cord and I could be

paralyzed. I have very short term memory, I start to talk to someone

and forget what I was going to say or say half a sentence and then just

forget I was talking. I call things the wrong things like I tell the

family to rinse their plates off and put them in the microwave (meaning

dishwasher). I talk dyslexic is what I call it. I'll be going

somewhere and say to my daughter that we have to go in the milk and go

buy some car. I'm light-headed 90% of the time or dizzy. And I have

tremors in my hands that they gave me anti-seizure medicine for. I

can't write at all and now I just started dropping things. I started my

first shot of Avonex last Friday evening. I thought I had died and gone

to hell. It took me until Wednesday before I was back to my normal

again. This is all new and very scary to me but I supposed most of you

are used to it. I decided to join this group and listen to others and

maybe I can learn some things about MS. Like how long the Avonex reacts

like that until your body gets used it. Thanks for letting me join and

I really apologize for the length of this e-mail.

ne

[Guest guest]

Hi ne,

Welcome to the group. My name is Krissy and I live in New Hampshire. I am 30 years old and was just diagnosed this Feb. with MS. I am currently on Rebif so I cannot give you any input on the Avonex. I just wanted to welcome you to the group and wish you the best of luck.

Krissy :-) (woo hoo looking forward to the weekend!)

[Guest guest]

Hello ne and welcome to the discussion group, my name is Bill and I was hit with my MS in Aug of 99. I am married and have 2 boy's. My MS makes it so I have no balance so I use a walker and I keep a wheelchair in my truck when I go places. I also went on disability after my MS hit. I was an electronic tech for 18 years and was not ready to stop working when I did.

Here is our family photo we had taken a few month's ago.

http://groups.msn.com/MSersLifeExtra/familyphotos.msnw?action=ShowPhoto & PhotoID=126

There are 3 of us in this discussion group that attend a local MS support group in Indiana. I was wondering have you looked for a local MS group in your area?

At our MS group we have had the MS Society come to speak to us a few times and one thing they stress is once you get diagnosed with MS you should register with you local MS Society. She told us the more people who are registered the more money they can get for research.

The Indiana MS Society has money also to help out with getting durable type items for there MS, such as scooter batteries, home modification if needed and other durable items. Here in Indiana you can make use of $450 a year.

The MS Society makes it clear that not every MS Society offers the same items so you would need to check into you local MS Society to see what they have to offer you.

You can go here to find your local chapter.

http://www.nationalmssociety.org/mycommunity/index.asp

Welcome to the group and I hope you make some new friends.

Bill

Newbie

Hi. My name is ne, 56 y/o and I live in Florida with my husbandJim and daughter . I was a scrub nurse in surgery for thirty yearsand then in 1994 I got DVT (clots) and had to give up my career. InApril 2002, I was working as a telephone operator but the swelling andpain in my legs was so bad I had to quit. I applied for SSDI and now Iam waiting for a hearing with a judge.Three months ago I had a smallstroke and afterward my equilibrium was really off. I kept falling andcatching myself on walls or furniture. A neurologist was called in andhe told me to make a appt in a few weeks but that I was not to walkwithout a walker. A few weeks later I ended up in the hospital for aweek with a clot in my right leg and five clots in my left leg. Now Iam on Coumadin therapy for 6 months to dissolve the clots. I finallymade it to the neurologist and he ran tests and said that my brain stemwas fine but my brain was not. After the MRI's were done, hediscovered two lesions. One on the end of my right optic nerve and onein the right side of my brain. They also found a herniated disc in myback but I have no symptoms, so I'm not doing anything about it. He rana bunch more tests with a TVset and checkerboard flashing etc. Thefollow-up visit was supposed to be a lumbar puncture and they were allready to do it and he walked in the room and cancelled. It can't bedone while I am on coumadin therapy to dissolve my clots, because itcould cause a hematoma in or around the spinal cord and I could beparalyzed. I have very short term memory, I start to talk to someoneand forget what I was going to say or say half a sentence and then justforget I was talking. I call things the wrong things like I tell thefamily to rinse their plates off and put them in the microwave (meaningdishwasher). I talk dyslexic is what I call it. I'll be goingsomewhere and say to my daughter that we have to go in the milk and gobuy some car. I'm light-headed 90% of the time or dizzy. And I havetremors in my hands that they gave me anti-seizure medicine for. Ican't write at all and now I just started dropping things. I started myfirst shot of Avonex last Friday evening. I thought I had died and goneto hell. It took me until Wednesday before I was back to my normalagain. This is all new and very scary to me but I supposed most of youare used to it. I decided to join this group and listen to others andmaybe I can learn some things about MS. Like how long the Avonex reactslike that until your body gets used it. Thanks for letting me join andI really apologize for the length of this e-mail.ne

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam, I am Beth, 48 and was diagnosed back in1997. Since you mentioned fibromyalgia,

I have to ask, how to you handle the fatigue?? I was recently diagnosed with fibro and I think

the combination of MS and fibro and battling the fatigue is incredible. I fell like I am hardly functioning

and I don't think the circles under my eyes can get much bigger!! The neuro gave me Provigil

for the fatigue and I have upped it to 1-1/2 pills a day, but that hardly puts a dent into the fatigue.

I am hoping the weather in Chicago changes and stays a little warmer and not so damp and

maybe that will help the joints and the fatigue.

Have a good day.

Beth Provis

McDermott, Will & Emery

*************************************************************************************************************************

This message is a PRIVATE communication. This message and all attachments are a private communication sent by a law firm and may be confidential or protected by privilege. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of the information contained in or attached to this message is strictly prohibited. Please notify the sender of the delivery error by replying to this message, and then delete it from your system. Thank you.

*************************************************************************************************************************

For more information on McDERMOTT, WILL & EMERY please visit our website at: http://www.mwe.com/

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group ne...I hope that you find this to be a great source of support. Sounds like you are really having a time of it right now. No doubt what so ever that we can all understand what you are feeling and going through. I hope that you will feel free enought to talk with us and ask questions all the time, thats what we are here for. I know this is very scary too...but rest assure...you are not alone.

Hugs,http://andcoverageforall.info Owner/Founder And Coverage For All 2 Yahoo Grouphttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACFA2/

[Guest guest]

Hi ne

Since we have so many new people in the group I thought I would post info about my MS also. I put my info together a few years ago so it is old, but still not many changes.

I am glad you are in the group and I do hope you make some new friends also.

It seems like it should be impossible for me to have both Diabetes and Multiple Sclerosis. Diabetes is a disease that usually runs in a family and I don't know of any one in my family that has it. My grandparents recently passed away and all three were in there 90's and were healthy most of there lives. My Grandmother Tyson died this past May 2001. MS and Diabetes are diseases that treat each person differently.

This August was in ways an anniversary for me. In August of 1999 I was diagnosed with my Multiple Sclerosis. It was a total surprise to me. I was in pretty good condition other than my type 1 diabetes since April 1993. In July of 1999 I was having some troubles with my left leg being on the weak side. I hade gone to see my Neurologist about my condition. I was told I had Neuropathy in my legs being caused by my diabetes. My regular family doctor had me go through a series of different tests because I had told her I thought maybe something other than my diabetes was happening. As I was getting worse I had another visit with my Neurologist and I told him a few troubles I was having one being that I was having trouble with my short term memory. He decided to have me do an MRI test to see what was going on. It turned out I had grey matter on my brain. I had no idea what that meant. I was told it could be a number of medical conditions. (my doctors photo) My Neurologist speculated possibly MS but said a spinal tap would be needed to be sure of what it was. I was concerned about what he would find but I was also worried about how that needle in my spine would feel. My Neurologist did a great job and caused no pain. By the time I had my spinal tap which was early August I was already using a walker or wheelchair because a lack of Balance. My Neurologist found that I had Multiple Sclerosis. I was hoping that it was a treatable disease like Limes Disease which is caused by a tick. By Mid August I had to take short term disability from my work because of having to miss so many days. It then turned into long term disability and then I am now on Social Security. All I can say is thank God for disability insurance because it has really saved my family financially.I spent the good part of my short term disability hoping for remission which can happen and does to many with MS. Guess what after 2 years I am still waiting and hoping. I would have to say after taking my shot for my MS and two more for my Diabetes I believe I know how a porcupine must feel.I would have to say my first year with my MS was the roughest it is so hard to change the way you are so use to doing things in life. I am 39 and am not ready for an early retirement which makes being disabled so hard. I miss being able to walk around the block or just fun doing things like fishing, hiking and yes even mowing the yard, especially outside work. I have two sons 11 and 4 and I miss being able to play ball or take them to the park to run around. I have a great wife her name is Judy and she is not only my wife but also my best friend. She has done a terrific job helping me get through this, she is even taking on new learning skills like Plumbing, Carpentry, Electrical work, Painter, but mainly there to help out with everything. She is great with the boys and does a great job with all chores all wives take care of. I know I would be at a complete lost with out her. My two sons are also very good to help out. My 11 year old has had to grow up sooner than I wanted him to he has learned to do things I did around the home. He is great at mowing, he also help with my 4 year old when he needs help and does well to give his mother a hand also.do feel lucky that I am still able to walk using my walker or wheelchair. I was able to get hand controls put on my truck and so I am still capable of driving when needed.I was an electronic tech for many years and since becoming disabled have turned doing my web pages as a hobby. When I made my web page I did it because I needed a better way to deal with my MS. My reason for making this web page was after meeting people at Jooly's a MS web page in the UK where people go to get information about MS but to also meet others with MS. Where you can email others with MS to see how they deal with this disease. When I sent out my first email to get on there message board I had several email me with there web pages my web page is located a Jooly's also, about there MS. I liked getting the web pages along with the contact email and decided I could easily come up with my own web page to meet others also. While I was healthy I had put together some nice equipment for my computer and now I have enjoyed making use of it to put my web page together. I have made my web page interactive so that other's with MS or Diabetes or even other disabilities can add there information to my web page for others to enjoy. Sometimes when life is at it's worse it is nice to know someone is always there to help out.Sometimes I have to wonder if God had worked things out for my family before all this happened to me. We had moved from our home in Indianapolis to where we live now in 93. When we chose to move we had a terrible time selling our home so we chose to rent the home in Indianapolis instead until we could find a buyer. When we rented the home out we only rented to those that showed a desire to maybe some day purchasing the home from us. We ended up renting it from 1993 to June of 1999. The worse part about having the rental was the upkeep on it because the home was 45 miles away from us. It was difficult to keep maintained the way it should have been. I do feel like God had a hand in getting rid of our home. We were on our 3rd renters and felt pretty sure they would purchase the home. It took them 6 months to get all there finances together to purchase the house. We had waited so long for the deal to get finished we felt it probably was not going to happen. The same week we were to finalized our home deal we were in hot pursuit of getting our new home refinanced to save our selves some money. We ended up selling our rental the first week in June and then the refinancing on our home went through the same week as well. It took us another week to finalized the refinancing deal. My MS hit in early July. We would have had a really tough time taking care of the rental with the troubles I went through with my MS. The combination of a profit from the home sell and refinancing gave us enough money to get through what could have been a very difficult financial time for my family. That never happened.

Bill

Look At Me

Web Big Mo

Newbie

Please excuse me for asking questions when I don't remember if I evenintroduced myself. I have a problem remembering things alot. My nameis ne and I live in Merritt Island FL with my husband Jim anddaughter . I have just been diagnosed with MS a few months ago. Iwas in the hospital for a small stroke, a month later I was back in thehospital with a clot in my right leg and five clots in my left leg butthey couldn't figure out why I kept losing my balance so they sent me toa neurologist. He found two lesions, one in my right side of the brainand one on my right optic nerve. I have decided I am not going to anymore specialists because everytime I do, they find something else wrong.Just kidding. I was a scrub nurse in surgery for thirty years and wentback to college and graduated to be a medical assistant in 2002 buthaven't worked a day since. I am the one who wrote about the terribleside effects to the Avonex, so today, on my birthday, I am starting theCopaxone. We are planning to move back to Ohio (we've been here in FLfor four years) because my family is there, and I am having a rough timewith the heat here now that it's in the high 80's and low 90's. BecauseI am not working, we are on a tight budget and we were trying not to runthe AC, but we had to break down and turn it on because I was getting sosick from the heat. Fever and chills, and nausea. I have applied forSSDI but like most people got denied the first two times. Now I'mwaiting for a hearing with a judge and I have a lawyer and she saysthere is no way they will turn me down again. I can hardly walk evenwith a walker, can't control my bladder and have a terrible time with mymemory and my doctor won't let me drive. Because of the heat, I veryseldom leave the house except after dusk, I go to the pool foraquatherapy. Our apt. building has a pool that conveniently is about 50feet from our patio. And that enough about me. It looks like I'mwriting a novel here. I hope to make some friends in this group andkeep in touch with people that are having similar problems and learnmore about MS.ne

[Guest guest]

Welcome Suzanne.

Sorry you are having such a difficult time with you MS. Hopefully

the cooler weather in Ohio will help.

Margot

> Please excuse me for asking questions when I don't remember if I

even

> introduced myself. I have a problem remembering things alot. My

name

> is ne and I live in Merritt Island FL with my husband Jim and

> daughter . I have just been diagnosed with MS a few months

ago. I

> was in the hospital for a small stroke, a month later I was back

in the

> hospital with a clot in my right leg and five clots in my left leg

but

> they couldn't figure out why I kept losing my balance so they sent

me to

> a neurologist. He found two lesions, one in my right side of the

brain

> and one on my right optic nerve. I have decided I am not going to

any

> more specialists because everytime I do, they find something else

wrong.

> Just kidding. I was a scrub nurse in surgery for thirty years and

went

> back to college and graduated to be a medical assistant in 2002 but

> haven't worked a day since. I am the one who wrote about the

terrible

> side effects to the Avonex, so today, on my birthday, I am

starting the

> Copaxone. We are planning to move back to Ohio (we've been here

in FL

> for four years) because my family is there, and I am having a

rough time

> with the heat here now that it's in the high 80's and low 90's.

Because

> I am not working, we are on a tight budget and we were trying not

to run

> the AC, but we had to break down and turn it on because I was

getting so

> sick from the heat. Fever and chills, and nausea. I have applied

for

> SSDI but like most people got denied the first two times. Now I'm

> waiting for a hearing with a judge and I have a lawyer and she says

> there is no way they will turn me down again. I can hardly walk

even

> with a walker, can't control my bladder and have a terrible time

with my

> memory and my doctor won't let me drive. Because of the heat, I

very

> seldom leave the house except after dusk, I go to the pool for

> aquatherapy. Our apt. building has a pool that conveniently is

about 50

> feet from our patio. And that enough about me. It looks like I'm

> writing a novel here. I hope to make some friends in this group

and

> keep in touch with people that are having similar problems and

learn

> more about MS.

> ne

[Guest guest]

Kyla,

It is likely that he just isin't strong enough to stop " taking her

direction. " Nothing against your father, or any spouse. I am in the

rather uncomfortable position of speaking on a topic with which I am

not aquainted-children. I suppose one could argue that at 19 I still

qualify for that title, but it is my opinion that a good parent in the

classic sense of the word is a rather difficult thing to find, and in

painful love relationships, it's harder for them to draw the line

between preserving the family, and preserving self respect. It blurs

the line between parent and human, the one we too often forget exists.

By behaving the way that he has, he has made a choice, but his

intention, more likely than not was to do what was best for you: his

child. By helping to shape you the way she wanted you to be shaped

-because she had probably had him thinking much differently about

himself and others-he figured he was saving you from the difficulties

he experienced. It sounds as though you can discuss this with him. To

use an example from my own life, my father never fought for me because

he knew she would make the fight about destroying him rather than what

was best for me, he yielded, and he regrets doing so, but thinks that

battle would have destroyed me. I know it's hard to understand someone

else's reasoning, and maybe it's my naivete, but I think that human

parents, not good ones- always want what's best for us, but it

sometimes gets lost in the translation. I also want to take this

opportunity to thank you for your kind words of welcome and ask you

one thing...what is a nada?

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi! I have been reading your posts for a couple of months. They

> are

> > very helpful. I feel the need to join in the group. I am trying

> to

> > detach (small steps at a time) from my Nada. My therapist REALLY

> > thinks she has BPD. Of course, she would never see a therapist,

> so who

> > knows!!! I have a question. Does anybody have a father that is

> > oblivious? My dad down plays all of the inappropriate behaviors

> my

> > nada exhibits. He knows she does it, but thinks I am

> overreacting. Is

> > this typical? Of course, it puts me in a fog. The majority of her

> > verbal and emotional abuse were in the absence of my dad. She

> would

> > usually stop when he got home. Just need some suggestions.

> Thanks!!!

> > -wendy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Kyla,

It is likely that he just isin't strong enough to stop " taking her

direction. " Nothing against your father, or any spouse. I am in the

rather uncomfortable position of speaking on a topic with which I am

not aquainted-children. I suppose one could argue that at 19 I still

qualify for that title, but it is my opinion that a good parent in the

classic sense of the word is a rather difficult thing to find, and in

painful love relationships, it's harder for them to draw the line

between preserving the family, and preserving self respect. It blurs

the line between parent and human, the one we too often forget exists.

By behaving the way that he has, he has made a choice, but his

intention, more likely than not was to do what was best for you: his

child. By helping to shape you the way she wanted you to be shaped

-because she had probably had him thinking much differently about

himself and others-he figured he was saving you from the difficulties

he experienced. It sounds as though you can discuss this with him. To

use an example from my own life, my father never fought for me because

he knew she would make the fight about destroying him rather than what

was best for me, he yielded, and he regrets doing so, but thinks that

battle would have destroyed me. I know it's hard to understand someone

else's reasoning, and maybe it's my naivete, but I think that human

parents, not good ones- always want what's best for us, but it

sometimes gets lost in the translation. I also want to take this

opportunity to thank you for your kind words of welcome and ask you

one thing...what is a nada?

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi! I have been reading your posts for a couple of months. They

> are

> > very helpful. I feel the need to join in the group. I am trying

> to

> > detach (small steps at a time) from my Nada. My therapist REALLY

> > thinks she has BPD. Of course, she would never see a therapist,

> so who

> > knows!!! I have a question. Does anybody have a father that is

> > oblivious? My dad down plays all of the inappropriate behaviors

> my

> > nada exhibits. He knows she does it, but thinks I am

> overreacting. Is

> > this typical? Of course, it puts me in a fog. The majority of her

> > verbal and emotional abuse were in the absence of my dad. She

> would

> > usually stop when he got home. Just need some suggestions.

> Thanks!!!

> > -wendy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Nada is for " not a mother " -- you don't have to use it in reference

to your own mother. Same with " fada " . Fathers who clean up the

emotional messes of BPD mothers are sometimes called " dishrag

dads " . You should get a glossary from Yahoo Groups soon that has

most of this in it.

Yes, I think you raise very good points. And he isn't strong enough

to stand up to her -- except that I've seen him do it when she was

targeting my brother. It was rare, but I saw him get in her face a

few times. And, to give him the benefit of the doubt, let's say

he's done that for me once or twice.

It just seems that his overriding loyalty is to her -- and he admits

that she's a problem, but would just rather I fold, deny myself and

cater to her. When I dare to bring up that I'm not responsible for

her miseries -- he clams up. (That's not on the script!! We're

supposed to cater to HER!) I'm always the one expected to " break "

her silent treatment. I'm expected to understand time after time

that she's " going through " something......If I say, " No, I'm done

catering to her moods " -- which I did say this past January for the

first time in my 44 years -- he got pissy and had a little tantrum.

Insulted me. Told me not to contact him anymore.

But, in general I think you've raised good points. People can only

do what they can do. Some things are beyond their emotional

capacity. I just know that in my case, my dad doesn't expend any

effort toward a relationship with me. None. He does for my

brother, but not me.

I will say that, having children now myself, I have been able to

walk a different path raising them than my parents did me. I am

more tuned in to them, and do not inflict my moods on them, etc. I

let them make decisions -- even if I'd rather they make a different

choice. I have made this house about celebrating them, instead of

insisting they all cater to me.

All of that takes introspection and a willingness to put one's ego

and emotional scars to the side for their benefit. I have done

that. My parents did not. That's where the hurt with my father

comes in: He came to those same forks in the road, and there wasn't

a voice inside him that urged him to honor Kyla. It was all about

feeding the BPD beast.

One of my most hurtful memories is of when I was 23 years old and my

wonderful fiance went to my Dad and said we were getting married.

You know what my dad said? " Don't say anything -- this will kill

her mother. " We sat and watched sitcoms that evening, sitting on

our wonderful news, like it was a bad thing, something to be ashamed

of. It was Thanksgiving -- my grandparents were there. All of the

elements of a wonderful family memory. Wasted on fear of her wrath.

Unlike my dad, when my kids announce their engagements, I'm breaking

out the champagne and we're having a party, right then and there.

I digress -- I just want to point out that when you have children,

listen to those " good " voices that include those children in the

family's emotional journey. My dad chose to ignore the ones that

urged him to honor me.

Thanks for your thoughts -- I look forward to reading more from you!

-Kyla

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi! I have been reading your posts for a couple of months.

They

> > are

> > > very helpful. I feel the need to join in the group. I am

trying

> > to

> > > detach (small steps at a time) from my Nada. My therapist

REALLY

> > > thinks she has BPD. Of course, she would never see a

therapist,

> > so who

> > > knows!!! I have a question. Does anybody have a father that

is

> > > oblivious? My dad down plays all of the inappropriate

behaviors

> > my

> > > nada exhibits. He knows she does it, but thinks I am

> > overreacting. Is

> > > this typical? Of course, it puts me in a fog. The majority of

her

> > > verbal and emotional abuse were in the absence of my dad. She

> > would

> > > usually stop when he got home. Just need some suggestions.

> > Thanks!!!

> > > -wendy

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Nada is for " not a mother " -- you don't have to use it in reference

to your own mother. Same with " fada " . Fathers who clean up the

emotional messes of BPD mothers are sometimes called " dishrag

dads " . You should get a glossary from Yahoo Groups soon that has

most of this in it.

Yes, I think you raise very good points. And he isn't strong enough

to stand up to her -- except that I've seen him do it when she was

targeting my brother. It was rare, but I saw him get in her face a

few times. And, to give him the benefit of the doubt, let's say

he's done that for me once or twice.

It just seems that his overriding loyalty is to her -- and he admits

that she's a problem, but would just rather I fold, deny myself and

cater to her. When I dare to bring up that I'm not responsible for

her miseries -- he clams up. (That's not on the script!! We're

supposed to cater to HER!) I'm always the one expected to " break "

her silent treatment. I'm expected to understand time after time

that she's " going through " something......If I say, " No, I'm done

catering to her moods " -- which I did say this past January for the

first time in my 44 years -- he got pissy and had a little tantrum.

Insulted me. Told me not to contact him anymore.

But, in general I think you've raised good points. People can only

do what they can do. Some things are beyond their emotional

capacity. I just know that in my case, my dad doesn't expend any

effort toward a relationship with me. None. He does for my

brother, but not me.

I will say that, having children now myself, I have been able to

walk a different path raising them than my parents did me. I am

more tuned in to them, and do not inflict my moods on them, etc. I

let them make decisions -- even if I'd rather they make a different

choice. I have made this house about celebrating them, instead of

insisting they all cater to me.

All of that takes introspection and a willingness to put one's ego

and emotional scars to the side for their benefit. I have done

that. My parents did not. That's where the hurt with my father

comes in: He came to those same forks in the road, and there wasn't

a voice inside him that urged him to honor Kyla. It was all about

feeding the BPD beast.

One of my most hurtful memories is of when I was 23 years old and my

wonderful fiance went to my Dad and said we were getting married.

You know what my dad said? " Don't say anything -- this will kill

her mother. " We sat and watched sitcoms that evening, sitting on

our wonderful news, like it was a bad thing, something to be ashamed

of. It was Thanksgiving -- my grandparents were there. All of the

elements of a wonderful family memory. Wasted on fear of her wrath.

Unlike my dad, when my kids announce their engagements, I'm breaking

out the champagne and we're having a party, right then and there.

I digress -- I just want to point out that when you have children,

listen to those " good " voices that include those children in the

family's emotional journey. My dad chose to ignore the ones that

urged him to honor me.

Thanks for your thoughts -- I look forward to reading more from you!

-Kyla

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi! I have been reading your posts for a couple of months.

They

> > are

> > > very helpful. I feel the need to join in the group. I am

trying

> > to

> > > detach (small steps at a time) from my Nada. My therapist

REALLY

> > > thinks she has BPD. Of course, she would never see a

therapist,

> > so who

> > > knows!!! I have a question. Does anybody have a father that

is

> > > oblivious? My dad down plays all of the inappropriate

behaviors

> > my

> > > nada exhibits. He knows she does it, but thinks I am

> > overreacting. Is

> > > this typical? Of course, it puts me in a fog. The majority of

her

> > > verbal and emotional abuse were in the absence of my dad. She

> > would

> > > usually stop when he got home. Just need some suggestions.

> > Thanks!!!

> > > -wendy

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome . Hit those weights with a gusto and you'll be rewarded.

Intensity and focus are everything. Congrats on your decision to nip

that weight gain in the bud. Feel free to post your progress or any

questions here on the board.

Bruce

>

> I just started the BFL challenge today and am new to this group. I

completed the challenge about six years ago but never turned in my

packet. I'm hoping to do so this time.

>

> I'm in my forties and want to nip the midlife weight gain in the bud.

I have about 10-15 pounds to lose. It has been awhile since I lifted

weights regularly, so I'm looking forward to regaining my strength.

>

> I'm hoping to find encouragement and inspiration here. I definitely

need it!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi there,

My name is Babs & I just recently joined this group. I have no idea

how much I weigh but I know it's over 300 lbs & I'm a size 26/28; very

overweight. I recently started a walking regimen and was wondering

how walking has helped others lose weight as well. Looking forward to

support...:-)

[Guest guest]

Hello and Everyone at fatmanwalking

My name is Maddy.

Walking is the perfect start to weight loss.

It's also not as hard on your joints and muscles.

I've got arthritis issues going on with my knee and at times the pain is so bad that I can't walk as much as I'd like. I've been struggling with my weight all my life. I've come to realize that being FIT is most important. I'll never be a size 8/10 but size 14/16 works best for me. The key is to set reasonable goals for yourself. Once you reach one of those goals you can always challenge yourself to the next level. Little steps is a smart approach. Wishing you all a size healthier and happier. Godspeed.

Subject: NewbieTo: thefatmanwalking_group Date: Sunday, June 15, 2008, 8:22 PM

Hi there,My name is Babs & I just recently joined this group. I have no ideahow much I weigh but I know it's over 300 lbs & I'm a size 26/28; veryoverweight. I recently started a walking regimen and was wonderinghow walking has helped others lose weight as well. Looking forward tosupport...:- )

[Guest guest]

congrats on the good start. Where abouts do you live?

laurie

>

> Hi there,

>

> My name is Babs & I just recently joined this group. I have no idea

> how much I weigh but I know it's over 300 lbs & I'm a size 26/28; very

> overweight. I recently started a walking regimen and was wondering

> how walking has helped others lose weight as well. Looking forward to

> support...:-)

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandy, sorry to hear it's already so hot. Sounds like you've been

making good progress.

I'm in Oregon, near Portland. We've had a cold spring. I havent been

inspired to go outside much. But I have been doing a few things.

Welcome to the group,

laurie

>

> Hi Babs - Welcome to the group. I'm new too. I'm in the Phoenix

area, so walking outside right now is a struggle - it is to hot

already,except for early in the morning. Anyway - walking for me has

many aspects, weight loss being the icing. The overall health issue

is higher on my list then the actual weight loss, which has been

low and slow - however the puffy, bulky, yucky feeling is gone; my

heart doesn't race anymore, and my blood pressure is within a normal

range; my skin has a health glow, and I just feel better from the

inside out. Keep at it Babs! You are worth every step you take.

Sandy - in Arizona

>

> Sandy

>

>

>

> Newbie

>

>

> Hi there,

>

> My name is Babs & I just recently joined this group. I have no idea

> how much I weigh but I know it's over 300 lbs & I'm a size 26/28; very

> overweight. I recently started a walking regimen and was wondering

> how walking has helped others lose weight as well. Looking forward to

> support...:- )

>

[Guest guest]

I'm in Mesa, part of the Phoenix metro area.     Sandy Re: Newbie

congrats on the good start. Where abouts do you live?

laurie

>

> Hi there,

>

> My name is Babs & I just recently joined this group. I have no idea

> how much I weigh but I know it's over 300 lbs & I'm a size 26/28; very

> overweight. I recently started a walking regimen and was wondering

> how walking has helped others lose weight as well. Looking forward to

> support...:- )

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurie,  A cold spring sounds so good to me.  It is either hot, hotter, or blazing hot here.  I'm planning a trip to Oregon in the Fall, hope to walk on the beach a lot.  Hang in there;  put on another layer of clothing and enjoy the coolness. Sandy   Sandy [thefatmanwalking_ group] Newbie

>

>

> Hi there,

>

> My name is Babs & I just recently joined this group. I have no idea

> how much I weigh but I know it's over 300 lbs & I'm a size 26/28; very

> overweight. I recently started a walking regimen and was wondering

> how walking has helped others lose weight as well. Looking forward to

> support...:- )

>

[Guest guest]

We have so many fires around here it is incredible. I am staying active tho..gym 3 to 5 time a week, bike when air quality lets me, walking, going to get back on the treadmill, going on a 100 mile hike (snow and fires willing!)...trip to WA with grand kids, camping with grand kids, putting up play center, cement slab for pool, garden, work somewhere in there! lol

Hope you are all having a fun summer so far! and ahead also!

Jane

well, we're a bit hot today and this weekend. walking on the beach isvery nice. do you have a beach in mind already? It's warmest inAugust, the further south you go, the warmer it is as well. So youcan frequently pick your temperature by choosing your location.i didnt mind the cool spring too much once it started being warmerthen 50F during the day, but the unpredictable rain, had me feeling abit lazy. Last year and the year before I wasnt working, and I'd headto a Town 1 hour east of us that rains less than us, and go walkingand biking over there. i was doing really well the past couple of weeks and now i'm waylaidby a probable bladder infection, i cant believe it, i've never had onebefore. we're off to see Wall-E now. Happy walking and swimming to everyonelaurie> >> > Hi Babs - Welcome to the group. I'm new too. I'm in the Phoenix> area, so walking outside right now is a struggle - it is to hot> already,except for early in the morning. Anyway - walking for me has> many aspects, weight loss being the icing. The overall health issue> is higher on my list then the actual weight loss, which has been> low and slow - however the puffy, bulky, yucky feeling is gone; my> heart doesn't race anymore, and my blood pressure is within a normal> range; my skin has a health glow, and I just feel better from the> inside out. Keep at it Babs! You are worth every step you take. > Sandy - in Arizona> > > > Sandy> > > > > > > > [thefatmanwalking_ group] Newbie> > > > > > Hi there,> > > > My name is Babs & I just recently joined this group. I have no idea> > how much I weigh but I know it's over 300 lbs & I'm a size 26/28; very> > overweight. I recently started a walking regimen and was wondering> > how walking has helped others lose weight as well. Looking forward to> > support...:- )> >> Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient used cars.

[Guest guest]

well, we're a bit hot today and this weekend. walking on the beach is

very nice. do you have a beach in mind already? It's warmest in

August, the further south you go, the warmer it is as well. So you

can frequently pick your temperature by choosing your location.

i didnt mind the cool spring too much once it started being warmer

then 50F during the day, but the unpredictable rain, had me feeling a

bit lazy. Last year and the year before I wasnt working, and I'd head

to a Town 1 hour east of us that rains less than us, and go walking

and biking over there.

i was doing really well the past couple of weeks and now i'm waylaid

by a probable bladder infection, i cant believe it, i've never had one

before.

we're off to see Wall-E now.

Happy walking and swimming to everyone

laurie

> >

> > Hi Babs - Welcome to the group. I'm new too. I'm in the Phoenix

> area, so walking outside right now is a struggle - it is to hot

> already,except for early in the morning. Anyway - walking for me has

> many aspects, weight loss being the icing. The overall health issue

> is higher on my list then the actual weight loss, which has been

> low and slow - however the puffy, bulky, yucky feeling is gone; my

> heart doesn't race anymore, and my blood pressure is within a normal

> range; my skin has a health glow, and I just feel better from the

> inside out. Keep at it Babs! You are worth every step you take.

> Sandy - in Arizona

> >

> > Sandy

> >

> >

> >

> > [thefatmanwalking_ group] Newbie

> >

> >

> > Hi there,

> >

> > My name is Babs & I just recently joined this group. I have no idea

> > how much I weigh but I know it's over 300 lbs & I'm a size 26/28; very

> > overweight. I recently started a walking regimen and was wondering

> > how walking has helped others lose weight as well. Looking forward to

> > support...:- )

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jane,  Where are you?  Where the heck is it snowing in June?   Have a great time.   Enjoy the hike.  Got your moleskin?    I always need it.   Sandy   Sandy [thefatmanwalking_ group] Newbie> > > > > > Hi there,> > > > My name is Babs & I just recently joined this group. I have no idea> > how much I weigh but I know it's over 300 lbs & I'm a size 26/28; very> > overweight. I recently started a walking regimen and was wondering> > how walking has helped others lose weight as well. Looking forward to> > support...:- )> >> Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient used cars.