Guest guest Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 Grandpa and the IRS The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to theIRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpashowed up with his attorney.The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyleand no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying thatyou win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa.'How about a demonstration?'The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks.'I'll bet you six thousanddollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into thatwastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefullyand decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage thatstunt, so he agrees again.Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but althoughhe strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasketon the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned amajor loss into a huge win.But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.'Not really,' says the attorney.'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'dbeen summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars thathe could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happyLife should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2008 Report Share Posted December 1, 2008 Good one, Jane. ROFL Grandpa and the IRS The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to theIRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpashowed up with his attorney.The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying thatyou win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye. 'The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks.'I'll bet you six thousanddollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into thatwastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between. 'The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefullyand decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage thatstunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but althoughhe strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasketon the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned amajor loss into a huge win.But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.'Not really,' says the attorney.'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'dbeen summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 Oh that is too funny! laurie > > Grandpa and the IRS > > The IRS decidThe IRS decThe IRThe IRS decidThe IRS decid<W > IRS officIRS > > > > The IRS auditThe IRS audit<WBR>The IRS audit<WTh > showeshowe<WBR>d up withshow > > > > > > The auditThe auThThe The audit<WBR>or saidThe The audThe > > and no full-and no fuland nand no and no full-and no fulland no > > you win moneyyou wiyou win money<WBR> gambl<WBR>ing.you win monyou wy > > > > ' > I'm a greatI'm a I'm a great<WBR> gambI'm a great<WBR>I'm > > > > > > 'How about'How about'How 'How > > > > The auditThe audiThe audit<WBR>oThe audit<WThThe aThe auditT > > > > ' > > > > GrandGrand<WBR>GrGrand<WBR>pa says,Grand<WBRGrand<WBR>pa says,<WBR> '<WBR> > > > > ' > > > > The auditThe auditThe auditThe audit<WThThe audit<W > > > > ' > > > > GrandGrand<WBR>Grand<WBR>paGrand<WBR>pa Grand<WBR>pa Grand<WBR>pa rG > > > > > > > > GrandGrand<WBR>GrGrand<WBR>pa says,<WBR> 'Grand<WBRGrand<WBR>pa says,<WBR> > '<WGrand > > > > ' > > > > Now the auditNow the audit<WBR>oNow theNow theNow the auditNow the a > > > > > > > > GrandGrand<WBR>Grand<WBR>paGrand<WBR>pa Grand<WBR>pa > > > > > > > > The stunnThe stunnThe stunn<WBThe stunn<WBR>edThe stunn<WBR>ed The stunT > > with Grandwith Grandwith Grand<WBRwith Grand<WBRwith Grand<WBRwit > > > > > > > > ''<WBR>Want to go '<WBR>Want'<WBR>Want'<WBR>Wa > > > > ''<WBR>I'll bet you six '<W > > dolladolla<WBR>rs that Idolla<WBR>rs that I can standolla<WBR>rs that > > wastewastewaste<WBR>baskwaste<WBwaste<WBR>waste<WBR>baske<Wwaste<WBR>bawas > > > > ' > > > > The auditThe audit<WThe auThe audit<WThe audit<WBR>or, tThe audiThe > > and decidand deciand decid<WBR>es there<WBR>'s and deand decidand de > > stuntstunt<WBR>, sstunt<WBRs > > > > > > > > GrandGrand<WBR>Grand<WGrand<WBR>pa standGrand<WBR>pGrand<WBR>pa Gra > > he straihe straihe strai<WBRhe strai<WBR>ns mihe strahe strai<Whe sth > > on the otheron the oon the otheron the otheron the other<WBR> sion the other > > > > > > > > The auditThe auditThe audit<WBR>orThe audit<WBR>or leaps<WBThe a > > majormajor<WBR> loss into a > > > > > > > > But GrandBut Grand<WBR>paBut GrandBut Grand<WBR>pa's own attorB > > > > > > > > 'Are you okay?'Are you okay'Are you > > > > > > > > 'Not reall'Not reall<WBR>y,' 'Not > > > > ''<WBR>This'<WBR>This morni'<WBR>This morn > > been summobeen summo<WBR>nbeen summo<WBR>ned bebeen summobeen summbeen su > > he couldhe could<WBR> come in here and pee all over your desk he could<WBR > > > **************Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW > AOL.com. > (http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000002) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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