Re: Living in a Household with Others

[Guest guest]

I too am currently struggling with this. My ears get very sore from wearing

headphones all day to get through work so by the time I get home I have trouble

wearing them. I live with two people who can be extremely loud without

realizing it.

Particularly in the last few days I have had trouble with:

Them eating loudly and breathing at the same time creating this echo like

chewing effect.

One of them did the dishes (water and utensil/clanking noises) and went right

into watering all the plants in the house which is an hour and a half ordeal

where the water is running constantly because if they paused they would have to

run it longer to get " just the right " temperature. Followed by putting away

dishes (loudly clanking noises) followed by eating at which point I couldn't

even see straight. Which is of course when the other one came home and decided

to watch tv doing the leg giggle thing in my line of sight.

I just wish I knew a way to turn this off. Cuz what am I going to do, get

pissed at them for doing the dishes... get pissed about the leg giggling thing

he doesn't even realize he is doing?

The problem is if I retreat into my room it is no better because of refrigerator

humm and loud TVs (plus all the water sounds/etc).

With my knees I can't even do a " quiet " walk around the neighborhood.

I am completely out of ideas, I don't want to be at work right now because of my

office mate but I equally dread going home because of my housemates. I have

spent hundreds of dollars on sound foam, expensive headsets, etc... I am out of

luck and I am out of places to go. I have gotten to the point where I literally

want to poke out my eardrums on a daily basis.

So yea, +1 for having trouble living with other people.

>

> How many of you have trouble living with other people because of the noise

they create at all hours of the day and night?

> Sound is multiplied from things like tvs, dishes, coughing, clearing the

throat, opening and closing doors, and the tinkering of knives and forks.

> I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade gunman's ear muffs for the past 12

years, and install white noise fans in 3 rooms.

> I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat and a surge of anger when I

hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline and cortisol in my body- the stress

hormone.

> I would add sound barriers to walls if it was feasible.

>

[Guest guest]

My son is the one with 4s/Miso, not me. Besides doing my best to avoid making certain sounds, one of the things I do for the sounds I can’t avoid is try to do them all at once and warn him. For example, while the washing machine is going, I run the water outside for the plants (a soaker hose that waters all my fruit trees at once), and while those are both going I can do dishes and then vacuum. It’s almost always on a Sunday evening/night and it also helps if he knows ahead of time. I don’t know if your housemates would be willing to do something like that. Just little things like putting a towel down in or next to the sink helps with clacking against the sink and counter, and in my house, we use paper plates, cups and plastic forks, so those are quieter and it cuts down on dish washing. Maybe you can show your housemates some of the information online and then ask if they would be willing to do some of these things. I know you don’t expect people to change their “normal” lives, but still they might do some things out of compassion. Also, I had to replace my refrigerator recently and my first requirement was that it had to be quiet! It’s a matter of frequency – the old one had a low hum that my son could hear in his room. This one makes some noise, but it’s not a low hum and it makes a big difference.Chris/Mom From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of elfindreamsSent: Thursday, April 12, 2012 8:23 AMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: Living in a Household with Others I too am currently struggling with this. My ears get very sore from wearing headphones all day to get through work so by the time I get home I have trouble wearing them. I live with two people who can be extremely loud without realizing it. Particularly in the last few days I have had trouble with:Them eating loudly and breathing at the same time creating this echo like chewing effect. One of them did the dishes (water and utensil/clanking noises) and went right into watering all the plants in the house which is an hour and a half ordeal where the water is running constantly because if they paused they would have to run it longer to get " just the right " temperature. Followed by putting away dishes (loudly clanking noises) followed by eating at which point I couldn't even see straight. Which is of course when the other one came home and decided to watch tv doing the leg giggle thing in my line of sight.I just wish I knew a way to turn this off. Cuz what am I going to do, get pissed at them for doing the dishes... get pissed about the leg giggling thing he doesn't even realize he is doing?The problem is if I retreat into my room it is no better because of refrigerator humm and loud TVs (plus all the water sounds/etc). With my knees I can't even do a " quiet " walk around the neighborhood. I am completely out of ideas, I don't want to be at work right now because of my office mate but I equally dread going home because of my housemates. I have spent hundreds of dollars on sound foam, expensive headsets, etc... I am out of luck and I am out of places to go. I have gotten to the point where I literally want to poke out my eardrums on a daily basis.So yea, +1 for having trouble living with other people.>> How many of you have trouble living with other people because of the noise they create at all hours of the day and night?> Sound is multiplied from things like tvs, dishes, coughing, clearing the throat, opening and closing doors, and the tinkering of knives and forks. > I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade gunman's ear muffs for the past 12 years, and install white noise fans in 3 rooms. > I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat and a surge of anger when I hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline and cortisol in my body- the stress hormone. > I would add sound barriers to walls if it was feasible.>

[Guest guest]

For the past 10 years or so that I've had misophonia, I've had to avoid my

family like the plague, even though we live in the same house. Over the years

of me trying to get out of this house with a decent career, and failing

miserably every time, I wind up as a 28 year old who's broke on his @$$ and

living at home with his parents. I literally wear earbuds and play music

non-stop. I sleep with them in, work with them in (if I am allowed) and will

very seldom be around my family without them in. I live in MP3 world, repeating

the same songs over and over, thousands of times never endingly, even at this

moment. As a result, I've research soundproofing, and posted about it at leigth

on topic 25328 so that I can at least remove my earbuds while I'm in my room.

As soon as I get some revenue, I was thinking about soundproofing my room; but

now I have a different plan. Our family used to own a very small local video

store called " Country Video " , which went out of business because it was more

expensive to run than it was worth. Anyway, the place is actually on our

property and right across from our house. It has basically become a storeroom

for our crap, though it has electricity and a bathroom. Now I want to fix it

up, soundproof it, and make a nice place away from the family to call my own.

My family supports me on this because I'd be paying rent, and if I moved off the

property one day, they could rent it out. Anyway, check out my info on

soundproofing if you're interested.

[Guest guest]

I cannot live with anyone unless they know about my condition and

are willing to work with me on it. Most people just don't understand

that clinking dishes etc. causes pain in my ears and gives me

headaches. I usually stay to myself in my room and eat "simple"

meals to reduce the time I need to be in the kitchen. I do like to

cook, but I can't be in the kitchen if someone else is in there,

it's too stressful.

Wearing headphones and sound generators is the only way I can cope

being around others. I finally don't feel guilty for wearing

headphones all the time now. It's the only way I can semi-function

in the world right now. This condition causes a lot of stress and

that is unhealthy for the body. I think that is why so many of us

feel anger and frustration.

-Randall

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How many of you have trouble living with other people

because of the noise they create at all hours of the day

and night?

Sound is multiplied from things like tvs, dishes,

coughing, clearing the throat, opening and closing doors,

and the tinkering of knives and forks.

I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade gunman's ear

muffs for the past 12 years, and install white noise fans

in 3 rooms.

I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat and a surge

of anger when I hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline

and cortisol in my body- the stress hormone.

I would add sound barriers to walls if it was feasible.

[Guest guest]

I'm the same way. I listen to my MP3 player all the time, listening

to music that is soothing to my ears or to brown noise trying to

drown out all the other sounds that are offensive to my ears. My

parents are the only "roommates" who have truly ever given a damn

about me and are willing to work with me to provide an environment I

can live in and not stress out all the time. It's not perfect, but

it's better than any other roommates or living situation I've ever

been in. I'm thankful for that.

-Randall

This message is intended solely for

the use of the individual and entity to whom it is addressed,

and contains information that is private, privileged,

confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable state

and federal laws. If you are not the addressee, or are not

authorized to receive for the intended addressee, you are hereby

notified that you may not use, copy, distribute, or disclose to

anyone this message or the information contained herein. If you

have received this message in error, immediately advise the

sender by reply email and destroy this message.

For the past 10 years or so that I've had misophonia,

I've had to avoid my family like the plague, even though

we live in the same house. Over the years of me trying to

get out of this house with a decent career, and failing

miserably every time, I wind up as a 28 year old who's

broke on his @$$ and living at home with his parents. I

literally wear earbuds and play music non-stop. I sleep

with them in, work with them in (if I am allowed) and will

very seldom be around my family without them in. I live in

MP3 world, repeating the same songs over and over,

thousands of times never endingly, even at this moment. As

a result, I've research soundproofing, and posted about it

at leigth on topic 25328 so that I can at least remove my

earbuds while I'm in my room. As soon as I get some

revenue, I was thinking about soundproofing my room; but

now I have a different plan. Our family used to own a very

small local video store called "Country Video", which went

out of business because it was more expensive to run than

it was worth. Anyway, the place is actually on our

property and right across from our house. It has basically

become a storeroom for our crap, though it has electricity

and a bathroom. Now I want to fix it up, soundproof it,

and make a nice place away from the family to call my own.

My family supports me on this because I'd be paying rent,

and if I moved off the property one day, they could rent

it out. Anyway, check out my info on soundproofing if

you're interested.

[Guest guest]

Randall, do you get physical pain in your ears from clinking dishes, or do you

get a reaction of rage?

> >

> > How many of you have trouble living with other people because of the

> > noise they create at all hours of the day and night?

> > Sound is multiplied from things like tvs, dishes, coughing, clearing

> > the throat, opening and closing doors, and the tinkering of knives and

> > forks.

> > I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade gunman's ear muffs for the

> > past 12 years, and install white noise fans in 3 rooms.

> > I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat and a surge of anger

> > when I hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline and cortisol in my

> > body- the stress hormone.

> > I would add sound barriers to walls if it was feasible.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I feel physical pain in my ears from the sound of clinking

dishes. That's what frustrates me. It's like sensory overload. The

clinking dishes are so loud and intense to me, that I feel pain from

it. Sometimes it can trigger a headache or migraine. I really don't

rage, I just get overly frustrated that I have this intense pain

that I have to deal with. It's very disruptive. It is sounds in the

higher pitched region that I have the most trouble with.

Many times there's a ghostly imprint of the sound, where I can still

hear it, even after the sound has stopped. It's stuck on a loop

playing over and over in my head and that drives me nuts. I usually

have to find another loud more soothing sound that I can listen to,

to try and knock out the disruptive sound. Does that make sense?

Anyone else experience that?

It's got to be some malfunction with how my brain processes sound.

-Randall

This message is intended solely for

the use of the individual and entity to whom it is addressed,

and contains information that is private, privileged,

confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable state

and federal laws. If you are not the addressee, or are not

authorized to receive for the intended addressee, you are hereby

notified that you may not use, copy, distribute, or disclose to

anyone this message or the information contained herein. If you

have received this message in error, immediately advise the

sender by reply email and destroy this message.

Randall, do you get physical pain in your ears from

clinking dishes, or do you get a reaction of rage?

> >

> > How many of you have trouble living with other

people because of the

> > noise they create at all hours of the day and

night?

> > Sound is multiplied from things like tvs,

dishes, coughing, clearing

> > the throat, opening and closing doors, and the

tinkering of knives and

> > forks.

> > I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade

gunman's ear muffs for the

> > past 12 years, and install white noise fans in 3

rooms.

> > I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat

and a surge of anger

> > when I hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline

and cortisol in my

> > body- the stress hormone.

> > I would add sound barriers to walls if it was

feasible.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My son still hears sounds after they’ve stopped and bangs on the wall or floor loudly with something heavy to knock the sounds out of his head. He also has OCD, so that might be a contributing factor. From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of Randall Sent: Friday, April 13, 2012 4:01 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: Re: Living in a Household with Others Yes, I feel physical pain in my ears from the sound of clinking dishes. That's what frustrates me. It's like sensory overload. The clinking dishes are so loud and intense to me, that I feel pain from it. Sometimes it can trigger a headache or migraine. I really don't rage, I just get overly frustrated that I have this intense pain that I have to deal with. It's very disruptive. It is sounds in the higher pitched region that I have the most trouble with.Many times there's a ghostly imprint of the sound, where I can still hear it, even after the sound has stopped. It's stuck on a loop playing over and over in my head and that drives me nuts. I usually have to find another loud more soothing sound that I can listen to, to try and knock out the disruptive sound. Does that make sense? Anyone else experience that? It's got to be some malfunction with how my brain processes sound.-RandallThis message is intended solely for the use of the individual and entity to whom it is addressed, and contains information that is private, privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable state and federal laws. If you are not the addressee, or are not authorized to receive for the intended addressee, you are hereby notified that you may not use, copy, distribute, or disclose to anyone this message or the information contained herein. If you have received this message in error, immediately advise the sender by reply email and destroy this message. Randall, do you get physical pain in your ears from clinking dishes, or do you get a reaction of rage?> >> > How many of you have trouble living with other people because of the > > noise they create at all hours of the day and night?> > Sound is multiplied from things like tvs, dishes, coughing, clearing > > the throat, opening and closing doors, and the tinkering of knives and > > forks.> > I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade gunman's ear muffs for the > > past 12 years, and install white noise fans in 3 rooms.> > I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat and a surge of anger > > when I hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline and cortisol in my > > body- the stress hormone.> > I would add sound barriers to walls if it was feasible.> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Living with others is always a challenge. Most people are totally unaware that their noises are annoying, and when you bring up the subject, they are shocked and usually just get angry. They are unlikely to change, so living alone in the country or wearing gunman's headphones are both great ideas. (Where do you buy those headphones? A gun shop, I imagine. Would you recommend a particular brand? The ones I use came from a hardware store and they hurt my head since they squeeze so hard. They are almost impossible to sleep in, but I have done it. They get all sweaty too, but it's the price I have to pay for a bit of peace and quiet now and then.)

[Guest guest]

Desdamona, this is an excellent product:

http://www.amazon.com/3M-90561-80025T-Protection-Professional-Protector/dp/B0000\

9LI4K/ref=cm_rdp_product

If they seem tight or if you need to wear them for many hours at a time, try

draping a thin scarf over your head and putting these on top of them. That will

relieve a bit of the pressure.

>

>  

>  

> Living with others is always a challenge.  Most people are totally unaware

that their noises are annoying, and when you bring up the subject, they are

shocked and usually just get angry.  They are unlikely to change, so living

alone in the country or wearing gunman's headphones are both great ideas. 

(Where do you buy those headphones?  A gun shop, I imagine.  Would you recommend

a particular brand?  The ones I use came from a hardware store and they hurt my

head since they squeeze so hard.  They are almost impossible to sleep in, but I

have done it.  They get all sweaty too, but it's the price I have to pay for a

bit of peace and quiet now and then.)

>

[Guest guest]

I’ll never regret plunking down $300 for my Bose noise cancelling earphones. 30 day full return policy. The latest model is the Bose Quiet Comfort 15. I wear Hearos Ultimate Softness Series foam earplugs underneath, which allows me to turn up the volume on the brown noise I play through the headphones. Both are comfortable all day long. The noises are gone!

Cheers,

From: Peach

Sent: Friday, April 13, 2012 8:50 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: Living in a Household with Others

Desdamona, this is an excellent product:http://www.amazon.com/3M-90561-80025T-Protection-Professional-Protector/dp/B00009LI4K/ref=cm_rdp_productIf they seem tight or if you need to wear them for many hours at a time, try draping a thin scarf over your head and putting these on top of them. That will relieve a bit of the pressure. >> > > Living with others is always a challenge. Most people are totally unaware that their noises are annoying, and when you bring up the subject, they are shocked and usually just get angry. They are unlikely to change, so living alone in the country or wearing gunman's headphones are both great ideas. (Where do you buy those headphones? A gun shop, I imagine. Would you recommend a particular brand? The ones I use came from a hardware store and they hurt my head since they squeeze so hard. They are almost impossible to sleep in, but I have done it. They get all sweaty too, but it's the price I have to pay for a bit of peace and quiet now and then.)>

[Guest guest]

I can relate and also wear headphones most of the time to cope with being the

mom in a family of seven kids ages 16 (twins) to 21 years old. I also use the

brown noise app. This has been a fairly new way to find relief. I used earplugs

a couple years and made the problem SO MUCH worse! Now I can tolerate very

little especially if trying to concentrate, its like a switch gets flipped. If I

am talking and laughing often my tolerance is pretty normal until I tune in

(unintentionally). I wonder if the constant steady sound of the brown noise is

making things worse too. I cant bear any noises it seems. Doors opening and

closing. the refrigerator door, microwave, cabinets front/back door, it just

doesn't matter even the sound of pouring cereal. If I hear noise I make that

come through the headphones (closing dryer, loading dishwasher etc) I can be on

the verge of meltdown. I wish more was known about this phenomenon. As I said I

hope the coping methods aren't making it worse. I also wear sound generators and

that helped me a lot with some of the little higher pitched noises, but cars and

motors, even the refrigerator motor kills me. I just sent them in to change them

out for ones that are pink noise frequency since the brown noise app helps mask

noise so much better than white noise. I hope there is a break through soon. I

am so frustrated with how it affects my ability to be the mom I want to be. I

try not to put that pressure on myself though. I can not help that my life and

this disability is invisible and different than most. I am trying to stop always

thinking It is something I can control and can will away. God made us all

different and our afflictions and trials unique to each individual. Yet there is

a purpose and plan and good works prepared for me that are valuable though may

be very different than someone else's. I try to keep that in mind when I feel

bad about being different and how it also effects what my family's life looks

like. I get overwhelmed with the demands of life often. I just cant do all lots

of people do. The entertaining and friends over, cooking baking, hanging out at

the kitchen table, football games eating out often is brutal and the look on my

face as things start to go south is embarrassing, my husband noticed I look

terrified as I may try to hide or tolerate a situation....it is sad I feel bad

for my family, but I try to do the best I can and turn to Jesus all the time for

strength for what HE wants me to do and the wisdom to know what that is.

Guess I needed to vent a little. Its nice to have a safe place to do it...though

i do it constantly in my prayers. I know God cares about and understands totally

what we go through! His grace IS sufficient, I cling and hope in that.

Rose

> >

> > How many of you have trouble living with other people because of the

> > noise they create at all hours of the day and night?

> > Sound is multiplied from things like tvs, dishes, coughing, clearing

> > the throat, opening and closing doors, and the tinkering of knives and

> > forks.

> > I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade gunman's ear muffs for the

> > past 12 years, and install white noise fans in 3 rooms.

> > I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat and a surge of anger

> > when I hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline and cortisol in my

> > body- the stress hormone.

> > I would add sound barriers to walls if it was feasible.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I'm new to the group so here's my intro. Particular sounds have REALLY bothered

me since the age of 6 or 7. The number 1 offender is kissing and the potential

that two people may kiss or a mother may kiss a child. If it happens and I see

and /or hear it I have to run away as quickly as possible and it will " stay with

me " for sometime after.

Open mouth, noisy eating is the next worst offended along with

sniffing/snorting/ throat clearing and any kind of lipsmacking.

My parents never understood it and would just consider me " grumpy " . Any

situation where I have to sit with other people is stressfull, any kind of

transport or a classroom setting. Taking exams as a kid was excrutiating, going

to the cinema NOT FUN AT ALL. Flying is particularly bad as you can't even get

off.

It is nice to hear that I'm not alone.

I have ADD and suffer from depression. I'd like to believe the depression is

from years of being barated and negative self talk / image. I plan to work hard

to change this and get off the antidepressants. I do think however that they do

take the edge of the brutal feelings that aggressively come over me in the

presence of the triggers mentioned above.

My therapist thought this was OCD based and had never heard of misophonia. I've

sent him the links and lets see what he says. He did admit he had never met

anyone with this kind of reaction before.

There were two incidents as a young child where I was stuck hiding under a bed

when my patents were having sex (3 years old) and stuck sharing a hotel room

with my parents " kissing/oral sex-not entirely sure " . Still grosses me out.

Maybe it started here? I banned my parents from kissing in front of me and would

freak out if they did. One time I felt so helpless I pulled out a chunk of my

hair (I think to make them see how distort I was).

So at 35 yrs old I continue to struggle with eating in quietly places with

others and cannot stand to be around kidding. Both major social issues!!!

So that's me, feel free to make suggestions.

Squasher

[Guest guest]

Welcome Squasher!

My trigger noises are sniffing and throat clearing, so I wore earplugs in school, especially during tests. I always have them with me when I’m flying. I seem to be OK socializing, assuming I can move around so I don’t feel trapped near any noisy offenders.

Cheers,

Suggestion: Too much of your identifying info is getting through. Do you have a more anonymous email account?

From: Shona Kerr

Sent: Saturday, April 14, 2012 4:41 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Cc: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: Re: Living in a Household with Others

Hello,I'm new to the group so here's my intro. Particular sounds have REALLY bothered me since the age of 6 or 7. The number 1 offender is kissing and the potential that two people may kiss or a mother may kiss a child. If it happens and I see and /or hear it I have to run away as quickly as possible and it will "stay with me" for sometime after. Open mouth, noisy eating is the next worst offended along with sniffing/snorting/ throat clearing and any kind of lipsmacking.My parents never understood it and would just consider me "grumpy". Any situation where I have to sit with other people is stressfull, any kind of transport or a classroom setting. Taking exams as a kid was excrutiating, going to the cinema NOT FUN AT ALL. Flying is particularly bad as you can't even get off.It is nice to hear that I'm not alone.I have ADD and suffer from depression. I'd like to believe the depression is from years of being barated and negative self talk / image. I plan to work hard to change this and get off the antidepressants. I do think however that they do take the edge of the brutal feelings that aggressively come over me in the presence of the triggers mentioned above. My therapist thought this was OCD based and had never heard of misophonia. I've sent him the links and lets see what he says. He did admit he had never met anyone with this kind of reaction before. There were two incidents as a young child where I was stuck hiding under a bed when my patents were having sex (3 years old) and stuck sharing a hotel room with my parents "kissing/oral sex-not entirely sure". Still grosses me out. Maybe it started here? I banned my parents from kissing in front of me and would freak out if they did. One time I felt so helpless I pulled out a chunk of my hair (I think to make them see how distort I was).So at 35 yrs old I continue to struggle with eating in quietly places with others and cannot stand to be around kidding. Both major social issues!!!So that's me, feel free to make suggestions.Squasher

[Guest guest]

What you say coincides with the experience of others as written up in the

scientific literature. I do, however, disagree with your last sentence, and in

fact your body is clearly telling you the problem is in the ear. Pain can

sometimes give a false localisation, but often with loudness problems there is a

characteristic feeling of pressure or blockage in an ear, which can only mean

the ear is at fault.

Palinacusis or sound echo is not widely researched, but I have checked

all the published reports, and whatever else is going on, the cases have obvious

and unambiguous ear disease.

********************************************************************88

> > > >

> > > > How many of you have trouble living with other people because of the

> > > > noise they create at all hours of the day and night?

> > > > Sound is multiplied from things like tvs, dishes, coughing, clearing

> > > > the throat, opening and closing doors, and the tinkering of knives

> > and

> > > > forks.

> > > > I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade gunman's ear muffs for the

> > > > past 12 years, and install white noise fans in 3 rooms.

> > > > I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat and a surge of anger

> > > > when I hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline and cortisol in my

> > > > body- the stress hormone.

> > > > I would add sound barriers to walls if it was feasible.

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Randall,You just wrote my bio. Among the clinking of dishes and so many other sounds. Although I've had migraines since I was six, very sensitive to smells, certain food dyes, skin sensitivities, insomnia AND migraines! I the service areas at restaurants, at work the exit and men's restroom are directly behind me. All day doors swooshings and door slams. $300 Bose headphones, $200 custom musicians earplugs, brown, white, pink noise on my iPhone helps only slightly. I finally had the courage to tell my supervisor about my sound sensitivities. Took a lot of courage. I sent a link to the Today show piece, the NY Times article, links to comments from the Today Show from others. It's been two weeks now. Crickets. I won't mention it again. My job requires constant concentration. I get off focus easily with loud cubicle conversations. Kettle chip eaters, nose snifflers, nose cleaners, gum poppers, cigarette smokers, no inside voice speakers, with so many other triggers. I started researching sound generators last week on Amazon. One looks promising. I asked myself what's my optimal work space? Is it a sound proof room with just me? Impractical. Is it a room with just my team? That wouldn't work either. Imagine a room with just my team and you could hear a gnat hiccup. I can keep moving my office space, jobs, housing etc. but really. There's no "perfect Idaho". Very frustrating. My second job is coping with this on top of being a Mom. Sent from my iPhone

Yes, I feel physical pain in my ears from the sound of clinking

dishes. That's what frustrates me. It's like sensory overload. The

clinking dishes are so loud and intense to me, that I feel pain from

it. Sometimes it can trigger a headache or migraine. I really don't

rage, I just get overly frustrated that I have this intense pain

that I have to deal with. It's very disruptive. It is sounds in the

higher pitched region that I have the most trouble with.

Many times there's a ghostly imprint of the sound, where I can still

hear it, even after the sound has stopped. It's stuck on a loop

playing over and over in my head and that drives me nuts. I usually

have to find another loud more soothing sound that I can listen to,

to try and knock out the disruptive sound. Does that make sense?

Anyone else experience that?

It's got to be some malfunction with how my brain processes sound.

-Randall

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Randall, do you get physical pain in your ears from

clinking dishes, or do you get a reaction of rage?

> >

> > How many of you have trouble living with other

people because of the

> > noise they create at all hours of the day and

night?

> > Sound is multiplied from things like tvs,

dishes, coughing, clearing

> > the throat, opening and closing doors, and the

tinkering of knives and

> > forks.

> > I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade

gunman's ear muffs for the

> > past 12 years, and install white noise fans in 3

rooms.

> > I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat

and a surge of anger

> > when I hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline

and cortisol in my

> > body- the stress hormone.

> > I would add sound barriers to walls if it was

feasible.

> >

> >

>

=

[Guest guest]

It's a full time job dealing with this condition. That's part of

what frustrates me about it. It can be debilitating. It does take a

lot of courage to say something to a supervisor. I applaud you for

that. After all, isn't providing an environment where you can excel

at your job important? Very smart to provide your supervisor with

articles and links about the condition. My first approach to a

supervisor (12 years ago) was a negative experience and jaded me for

a very long time after.

These days, I'm a lot more open about discussing this condition with

others. Still, though, people either don't have a clue or just don't

care. But, there are those that do, and they are a rare gem in this

world and very much appreciated! Like you Dr. and my

therapist who helped me a few years back with the anxiety and

depression caused by this condition.

I'm hoping with more exposure out there about this, people,

supervisors, etc. will be more understanding and considerate of us

who suffer from this condition. You asked "what's my optimal work

space?", for me that's where I live. I am fortunate right now to

have work I can do from home. Sound proofing is impractical because

of the cost. So, I wear headphones all the time. Not a perfect

solution, but one that helps me survive and better concentrate on my

work. I don't feel so guilty now wearing headphones all the time.

All of us here show true courage dealing with this condition every

day of our lives, and getting up the next morning to do it all over

again! Especially all of the parents in this group who are raising

children! You are truly the bravest people I have ever written to.

Knowing that I'm not alone with this, has helped me not fall so deep

in depression as I had before. So, thank you Shonna and all the

wonderful participants of this support group. Without you, I would

feel completely isolated.

You are all greatly appreciated!

-Randall

This message is intended solely for

the use of the individual and entity to whom it is addressed,

and contains information that is private, privileged,

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and federal laws. If you are not the addressee, or are not

authorized to receive for the intended addressee, you are hereby

notified that you may not use, copy, distribute, or disclose to

anyone this message or the information contained herein. If you

have received this message in error, immediately advise the

sender by reply email and destroy this message.

 

Randall,

You just wrote my bio. Among the clinking of dishes and

so many other sounds. Although I've had migraines since I

was six, very sensitive to smells, certain food dyes, skin

sensitivities, insomnia AND migraines! I the service areas

at restaurants, at work the exit and men's restroom are

directly behind me. All day doors swooshings and door

slams. $300 Bose headphones, $200 custom musicians

earplugs, brown, white, pink noise on my iPhone helps only

slightly. I finally had the courage to tell my supervisor

about my sound sensitivities. Took a lot of courage. I

sent a link to the Today show piece, the NY Times article,

links to comments from the Today Show from others. It's

been two weeks now. Crickets. I won't mention it again. My

job requires constant concentration. I get off focus

easily with loud cubicle conversations. Kettle chip

eaters, nose snifflers, nose cleaners, gum poppers,

cigarette smokers, no inside voice speakers, with so many

other triggers. I started researching sound generators

last week on Amazon. One looks promising. I asked myself

what's my optimal work space? Is it a sound proof room

with just me? Impractical. Is it a room with just my team?

That wouldn't work either. Imagine a room with just my

team and you could hear a gnat hiccup. I can keep moving

my office space, jobs, housing etc. but really. There's no

"perfect Idaho". Very frustrating. My second job is coping

with this on top of being a Mom.   

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

The " grumpy " thing drives me batty. That along with people saying " well why

don't you just (buy | use) headphones or ear plugs " ... Wow, thank you, I have

dealing with this for decades now and I never before now thought " hey, I should

use ear plugs or a headphone " ... oh wait, I have spent several thousand dollars

on things like sound cancelling headphones, ear plugs, custom earplugs, etc... I

guess they didn't help. The /really/ funny thing is most of these people see me

with my sound cancelling headphones either on or around my neck since I seldom

leave the house without them.

Sorry mini-rant.

It's just every time I have a conversation about this with others, someone

trivializes it and makes it out to be nothing more than me being annoyed at

other people.

So anyone have any coping mechanisms to deal with people while discussing

misophonia?

>

> Hello,

>

> I'm new to the group so here's my intro. Particular sounds have REALLY

bothered me since the age of 6 or 7. The number 1 offender is kissing and the

potential that two people may kiss or a mother may kiss a child. If it happens

and I see and /or hear it I have to run away as quickly as possible and it will

" stay with me " for sometime after.

> Open mouth, noisy eating is the next worst offended along with

sniffing/snorting/ throat clearing and any kind of lipsmacking.

>

> My parents never understood it and would just consider me " grumpy " . Any

situation where I have to sit with other people is stressfull, any kind of

transport or a classroom setting. Taking exams as a kid was excrutiating, going

to the cinema NOT FUN AT ALL. Flying is particularly bad as you can't even get

off.

>

> It is nice to hear that I'm not alone.

>

> I have ADD and suffer from depression. I'd like to believe the depression is

from years of being barated and negative self talk / image. I plan to work hard

to change this and get off the antidepressants. I do think however that they do

take the edge of the brutal feelings that aggressively come over me in the

presence of the triggers mentioned above.

>

> My therapist thought this was OCD based and had never heard of misophonia.

I've sent him the links and lets see what he says. He did admit he had never met

anyone with this kind of reaction before.

>

> There were two incidents as a young child where I was stuck hiding under a bed

when my patents were having sex (3 years old) and stuck sharing a hotel room

with my parents " kissing/oral sex-not entirely sure " . Still grosses me out.

Maybe it started here? I banned my parents from kissing in front of me and would

freak out if they did. One time I felt so helpless I pulled out a chunk of my

hair (I think to make them see how distort I was).

>

> So at 35 yrs old I continue to struggle with eating in quietly places with

others and cannot stand to be around kidding. Both major social issues!!!

>

> So that's me, feel free to make suggestions.

>

> Squasher

>

[Guest guest]

Congratulations on working up the courage to talk to your boss.

Regrettably, I am not surprised nothing has changed as frequently there is

little they can do. What I have found is that now that you have told them, they

will likely be more receptive to specific requests. Basically figure out small

things (not what will solve the whole bang at once, that will just frustrate you

trying to figure it out), but concrete things you can go to them and say, " Hey,

I was just thinking, would it be possible for us to do X. If we did X it would

greatly drop (some trigger) and might make things a little easier for me. "

Think about things like inserts to keep the doors from slamming loudly (they

make them for just about every kind of door) or arms on the doors to keep them

from slamming (those hydraulic thingies on the top you see on a lot of doors

that make the door close slowly).

And above all, good luck!

> >> > >

> >> > > How many of you have trouble living with other people because of the

> >> > > noise they create at all hours of the day and night?

> >> > > Sound is multiplied from things like tvs, dishes, coughing, clearing

> >> > > the throat, opening and closing doors, and the tinkering of knives and

> >> > > forks.

> >> > > I've had to wear earplugs and high-grade gunman's ear muffs for the

> >> > > past 12 years, and install white noise fans in 3 rooms.

> >> > > I get feelings of anxiety and rapid heart beat and a surge of anger

> >> > > when I hear loud noises. It sets off adrenaline and cortisol in my

> >> > > body- the stress hormone.

> >> > > I would add sound barriers to walls if it was feasible.

> >> > >

> >> > >

> >> >

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> > How to get the most from Social Security

> > Privacy Policy

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

" So anyone have any coping mechanisms to deal with people while discussing

misophonia? " -elfindreams

I think it's hilarious (and true) that you ask about coping mechanisms to deal

with people when everyone else is asking for coping to deal with the illness.

That's what people who don't have this disorder don't seem to understand; it's

not just the fact that the noises are bothering us that makes the condition so

diabolical, it's the fact that people are so damned disrespectful toward people

who don't have normal problems that exploads this issue into a cronic illness.

I would love to be able to tell everyone about my issues at a workplace or at an

apartment for instance, and have them help me make my life more comfortable when

I have to truely put up with more than they do.

But as many of us have figured out, this almost never works, causing us to have

to listen to a hundred times more noises that would have been delt with

otherwise. Then there is also the fact that it feels selfish to tell everyone

to change their habbits for you; needless to say, it adds a tremendous amount of

stress to an already stressful condition. I wish I could offer any coping

mechanisms, but unfortuantely, I've little experience with people as I'm very

introverted, an issue which is compounded completely by misophonia. The best

thing I can think of that is helpful is to make friends with someone before you

drop the misophonia bomb on them.

[Guest guest]

My coping mechanisms are to wear headphones when I'm around others,

and know my boundaries. If a situation is making me uncomfortable or

painful, then I leave it asap and go somewhere else. Somewhere else

might be to be alone for a while. That is okay. There are a lot more

solitary things to keep one occupied in this day and age.

Do use caution when discussing misophonia/sound sensitivity with

other people. Use discretion. If you know someone who is a bastard

and has no care in the world for anyone or anything, then don't

approach them about it and choose not to be around them. I don't go

around discussing this condition with just anyone, but I am more

open to explain it if the need arises, and not always feel that I

have to hide it.

Part of how I cope is to allow myself not to put myself into

situations or around people that exasperates this condition. That is

okay.

I for one cannot be a social animal dealing with this condition. I

don't go out to social functions or hang out with friends much. And

I'm okay with that now. If having a social life is that important, I

suggest playing an online MMOG (massively multiplayer online game)

and join a guild, or other online groups for a social life.

It may not be "traditional" but it is a new way for people to

communicate and not feel so alone. For me, I can either text or

adjust the audio on my computer to make voices more tolerable. It's

a great solution for someone like me who deals with this condition.

-Randall

This message is intended solely for

the use of the individual and entity to whom it is addressed,

and contains information that is private, privileged,

confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable state

and federal laws. If you are not the addressee, or are not

authorized to receive for the intended addressee, you are hereby

notified that you may not use, copy, distribute, or disclose to

anyone this message or the information contained herein. If you

have received this message in error, immediately advise the

sender by reply email and destroy this message.

"So anyone have any coping mechanisms to deal with

people while discussing misophonia?" -elfindreams

I think it's hilarious (and true) that you ask about

coping mechanisms to deal with people when everyone else

is asking for coping to deal with the illness. That's what

people who don't have this disorder don't seem to

understand; it's not just the fact that the noises are

bothering us that makes the condition so diabolical, it's

the fact that people are so damned disrespectful toward

people who don't have normal problems that exploads this

issue into a cronic illness. I would love to be able to

tell everyone about my issues at a workplace or at an

apartment for instance, and have them help me make my life

more comfortable when I have to truely put up with more

than they do.

But as many of us have figured out, this almost never

works, causing us to have to listen to a hundred times

more noises that would have been delt with otherwise. Then

there is also the fact that it feels selfish to tell

everyone to change their habbits for you; needless to say,

it adds a tremendous amount of stress to an already

stressful condition. I wish I could offer any coping

mechanisms, but unfortuantely, I've little experience with

people as I'm very introverted, an issue which is

compounded completely by misophonia. The best thing I can

think of that is helpful is to make friends with someone

before you drop the misophonia bomb on them.