Just knowing helps, but only a little.

[Guest guest]

From as long as I can remember I've always hated, yes hated people when they are

eating. I have no problem with them otherwise. It started when I was young and

my parents thought I was just an angry or controlling person. One little smack

during a meal will have me glaring at you and inside, wanting to sew your mouth

closed. As with most it has only gotten worse, mostly my major triggers are

anything with chewing, forks clinking, feet rhythmically moving or tapping.

Recently I've had some really bad episodes.

I work in healthcare, with ventilator patients, I'm sure some of you know where

this is going. There are certain patterns of breathing that just slowly kill me,

and some days I have to deal with it for up to 6hrs at a time, no break. I

started to notice how bad it was when I realized my chest would hurt at the end

of a shift and I felt like I didn't really remember anything from the shift.

Once I get home I start to relax and feel normal. Literally, on those long

shifts, I feel like two different people. In reflecting on a day, I feel like my

memories (during an " episode " )are from a different person. Anyway, even being a

healthcare worker, I have just recently discovered this and I does help a

little, just a little.