Re: New and Desperate.

[Guest guest]

Welcome, . The only downside to me about joining the group is that I am realizing that other people's triggers are on my list, but I had not really noticed them as much before. My greatest fear comes from a recognition that my tolerance has been decreasing for about 5 years now, though I have had it since 4th or 5th grade.I fear misophonia is leading me to misanthropy. The hater/avoider of sound is becoming a hater/avoider of people.I like to be at home. I like to be here alone in the daytime, but I hate that rare occasion when I sleep alone. I wish the phone would never ring again.Bob

[Guest guest]

,

WELCOME! Here is a big virtual hug from all of us! HUUUGGGG!!!

You are not an evil mom. You are not an evil person. You are a person with

what many of us believe is a neurological disorder. 4S and/or Misophonia (very

closely related) definitely messes with your brain waves.

I have a few suggestions for you. Having lived with this for over 30 years,

written about it, researched it, talked at length to a hundred or more folks

just like me, I have learned some very good coping methods. None are perfect

and none erase the sound or the reaction to it. But they do soften my reaction

enough to let me live a peaceful, happy life. Here are my suggestions for you:

1) Go to an ENT and have them check and, if needed, clean your ears. Sometimes

extra wax can actually cause MORE sensitivity (not less, as you'd think). If

they find any, go back yearly for a new cleaning.

2) Go to an audiologist and have them fit you for custom ear plugs. They will

fit better than any other plugs you'll ever buy (mine cost about $20-30).

3) Download BROWN noise from the web (or whichever color noise soothes you).

You can then wear your mp3 player/headphones and play that noise when outside

noises get really bad and to calm you after a bad trigger. I've used this to

sleep in the same room with my husband while traveling.

4) Give your family literature, printouts from this site, etc. to educate them.

Their understanding and compassion toward you as you survive this is absolutely

essential! You do not need guilt and shame piled onto your shoulders. This

disorder, on its own, is enough of a burden for anyone to bear.

5) Take extra B12 and magnesium (and possibly go to the doctor to get a B12

shot). Also a lavender oil bath in am and pm. All help with stress. And less

stress helps you cope better with anything, including 4S. Also, getting enough

sleep is important. Do it in any way you can, even if you have to sleep in a

separate room.

6) Take yoga or Art of Living course. Both will help lessen stress and

oxygenate your body and your brain to help cope with 4S.

>

> Hi, everyone!

>

> My name is . I'm 32 years old. I'm married and have 2 kids... and for

the first time, in a very long time, I feel like I'm not alone!!

>

> When I was little, my bedroom shared the wall with the bathroom. I would hear

my dad in the shower making that disgusting throat clearing hacking up who knows

what sound. I would try to lay under my pillow to drown it out, but nothing

helped. My favorite mornings were the ones where my mom was drying her hair in

her bedroom when my dad was in the shower. For as long as I can remember, the

sound of a blow dryer has been my favorite sound in the world. My family can

often find me sitting on my bathroom floor with a book and the blowdryer turned

on. It's my " I need to relax " go-to.

>

> There's obvious triggers... anything (and by anything... I mean it)

repetitive. It can be tapping, clicking, beeping, even having to repeat myself

to someone. My husband has hearing and memory loss to do injuries from his

military service, and I have to repeat myself A LOT. Chewing, actually any

mouth noises at all. Legs bouncing, fingers tapping (even if I can't hear it.)

I can't tell you how many times I have yelled at my dog for licking himself. I

cannot STAND when the dog licks himself. Or me. Or anybody else. I wish my

dog would keep his tongue in his mouth!! I don't want the dog... but everyone

else does, and I always seem to lose these fights because I'm " too sensitive. "

When I say that something or somebody is getting on my nerves, my husband tells

me that my nerves are all over the place and people can't avoid them.

>

> Two days ago, I stumbled across misophonia. I don't even know how. And my

world has changed.

>

> I knew that I could NEVER watch/hear Nicolas Cage. I didn't realize it could

be because his voice is a trigger. I say, whenever his face appears, how much I

HATE a man that has done nothing to me. My husband laughs because neither one

of us could figure out why this mans voice would send me into such a place of

hate.

>

> Now, I'm realizing something else. Something sad. My son is a trigger. I

can be around him. We can talk. I can hear him to to other people. But, after

a while, it feels like he's been talking for hours. I try to be patient. I try

to focus on something else. And, then, I abruptly have to end the conversation.

Immediately . I have to go somewhere else so that I don't hear him. If I can

still hear him, I have to find a reason to make him stop talking. I redirect

him to something else, or I say something like, " less talking, more eating. "

Although, his eating habits are a trigger, too. We, usually, eat with the TV on

in the background.

>

> He's, also, a crier. I don't mean silent sobs... He wails. And, that, is my

biggest trigger. I am instantly furious. Knowing that yelling will only make

him cry worse, I can't NOT yell. I can't NOT tell him to shut up. I try to

walk away, but it doesn't matter. The sound is in my head, and I can hear him

from anywhere in the house. Then, I get even more angry because I can still

hear him in any room.

>

> I am so happy to know that I'm not just a horrible mom who favors one child

over the other. It's so comforting to know that I'm not a total bitch who can't

stand the people in my life. But, still... there's no fix. I don't know if

knowing about misophonia makes things better or worse.

>

[Guest guest]

That makes sense! It's less damning to just be internally irate. Now, since my

" discovery " I expect my husband to be instantly understanding. Like this should

be a validation for him, too.

>

> " The only downside to me about joining the group is that I am realizing that

other people's triggers are on my list, but I had not really noticed them as

much before. "

>

>

> That's my fear, as well.

>

>

> Re: New and Desperate.

>

>

> Welcome, . The only downside to me about joining the group is that I am

realizing that other people's triggers are on my list, but I had not really

noticed them as much before. My greatest fear comes from a recognition that my

tolerance has been decreasing for about 5 years now, though I have had it since

4th or 5th grade.

>

> I fear misophonia is leading me to misanthropy. The hater/avoider of sound is

becoming a hater/avoider of people.

>

> I like to be at home. I like to be here alone in the daytime, but I hate that

rare occasion when I sleep alone. I wish the phone would never ring again.

>

> Bob

>

>

>

> TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> College football OKs big new bowl game

> Get Yahoo Search App! • Privacy Policy

>

[Guest guest]

An important thing I discovered is that, while it was nice to find this place of

companionship and mutual understanding, if you spend TOO much time here, you may

find yourself getting WORSE. Why?

Because anything you spend a lot of attention on becomes your focus and thus,

your pain point. I don't spend every day here any more. I come every few

months, then leave and don't come back for a while again. If I'm here all the

time, I find myself thinking about my 4S (and the sounds around me), way way too

much, and it does get even more intolerable.

It's the premise that yoga masters use in " bringing attention to the breath. "

If you do that, you relax. Interesting, huh? If you are hurt, for example say

a cut on your finger, and you focus on that pain, it definitely feels worse,

doesn't it?

> >

> > " The only downside to me about joining the group is that I am realizing

that other people's triggers are on my list, but I had not really noticed them

as much before. "

> >

> >

> > That's my fear, as well.

> >

> >

> > Re: New and Desperate.

> >

> >

> > Welcome, . The only downside to me about joining the group is that I

am realizing that other people's triggers are on my list, but I had not really

noticed them as much before. My greatest fear comes from a recognition that my

tolerance has been decreasing for about 5 years now, though I have had it since

4th or 5th grade.

> >

> > I fear misophonia is leading me to misanthropy. The hater/avoider of sound

is becoming a hater/avoider of people.

> >

> > I like to be at home. I like to be here alone in the daytime, but I hate

that rare occasion when I sleep alone. I wish the phone would never ring again.

> >

> > Bob

> >

> >

> >

> > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> > College football OKs big new bowl game

> > Get Yahoo Search App! • Privacy Policy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I have this thing about something new. I throw myself into it. Obsessively. I

get bored rather quickly, though.

I am, already, seeing a downside to obsessing about this. I'm so used to being

annoyed and angry, but now everything that I've always dealt with is suddenly

related to misophonia.

When I hear my husbands voice but do not know what he's saying, I have always

stopped what I was doing or paused the tv or whatever to focus on his words

because I couldn't stand hearing wordless voice through the walls. I just said

to him, " Your muffled voice through the wall is driving me crazy. Talk quietly

or go outside. " I've said things along that same line before, but I know I saw

" muffled voice " on a list of triggers. And, I've never used that term before

today.

I may have to step back, already.

> > >

> > > " The only downside to me about joining the group is that I am realizing

that other people's triggers are on my list, but I had not really noticed them

as much before. "

> > >

> > >

> > > That's my fear, as well.

> > >

> > >

> > > Re: New and Desperate.

> > >

> > >

> > > Welcome, . The only downside to me about joining the group is that I

am realizing that other people's triggers are on my list, but I had not really

noticed them as much before. My greatest fear comes from a recognition that my

tolerance has been decreasing for about 5 years now, though I have had it since

4th or 5th grade.

> > >

> > > I fear misophonia is leading me to misanthropy. The hater/avoider of

sound is becoming a hater/avoider of people.

> > >

> > > I like to be at home. I like to be here alone in the daytime, but I hate

that rare occasion when I sleep alone. I wish the phone would never ring again.

> > >

> > > Bob

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> > > College football OKs big new bowl game

> > > Get Yahoo Search App! • Privacy Policy

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,I felt the same way when I found out about Misophonia. I was relieved and saddened at the same time, mostly because there was no "quick fix". The best thing that came out of it though, like you and my son being my biggest current trigger, is that I was able to now explain to him, "its not you, its me, and this is why" by looking at the website together and both of us identifying my triggers and even sharing a laugh about how many times I've snapped, yelled, glared at him for something that he wasn't doing wrong. Just breathing (!)Also explaining this to my co-workers and friends now that I know what its called really, truly helps. I am confident the segment on 20/20 last night is going to

do wonders for further research into this condition.I have found this group to be very supportive just by being able to read how others are coping. I hope you find some peace here too. Look for an audiologist specialist in Misophonia near you, if that's possible. I just had my first appointment today and without getting into too many details, I think I am on a good path now to finding a better way to cope with the help of Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Hearing Maskers. If you want more info, let me know and I'd be happy to expand on what those are. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Saturday, May 19, 2012 10:11 AM Subject: New and Desperate.

Hi, everyone!

My name is . I'm 32 years old. I'm married and have 2 kids... and for the first time, in a very long time, I feel like I'm not alone!!

When I was little, my bedroom shared the wall with the bathroom. I would hear my dad in the shower making that disgusting throat clearing hacking up who knows what sound. I would try to lay under my pillow to drown it out, but nothing helped. My favorite mornings were the ones where my mom was drying her hair in her bedroom when my dad was in the shower. For as long as I can remember, the sound of a blow dryer has been my favorite sound in the world. My family can often find me sitting on my bathroom floor with a book and the blowdryer turned on. It's my "I need to relax" go-to.

There's obvious triggers... anything (and by anything... I mean it) repetitive. It can be tapping, clicking, beeping, even having to repeat myself to someone. My husband has hearing and memory loss to do injuries from his military service, and I have to repeat myself A LOT. Chewing, actually any mouth noises at all. Legs bouncing, fingers tapping (even if I can't hear it.) I can't tell you how many times I have yelled at my dog for licking himself. I cannot STAND when the dog licks himself. Or me. Or anybody else. I wish my dog would keep his tongue in his mouth!! I don't want the dog... but everyone else does, and I always seem to lose these fights because I'm "too sensitive." When I say that something or somebody is getting on my nerves, my husband tells me that my nerves are all over the place and people can't avoid them.

Two days ago, I stumbled across misophonia. I don't even know how. And my world has changed.

I knew that I could NEVER watch/hear Nicolas Cage. I didn't realize it could be because his voice is a trigger. I say, whenever his face appears, how much I HATE a man that has done nothing to me. My husband laughs because neither one of us could figure out why this mans voice would send me into such a place of hate.

Now, I'm realizing something else. Something sad. My son is a trigger. I can be around him. We can talk. I can hear him to to other people. But, after a while, it feels like he's been talking for hours. I try to be patient. I try to focus on something else. And, then, I abruptly have to end the conversation. Immediately . I have to go somewhere else so that I don't hear him. If I can still hear him, I have to find a reason to make him stop talking. I redirect him to something else, or I say something like, "less talking, more eating." Although, his eating habits are a trigger, too. We, usually, eat with the TV on in the background.

He's, also, a crier. I don't mean silent sobs... He wails. And, that, is my biggest trigger. I am instantly furious. Knowing that yelling will only make him cry worse, I can't NOT yell. I can't NOT tell him to shut up. I try to walk away, but it doesn't matter. The sound is in my head, and I can hear him from anywhere in the house. Then, I get even more angry because I can still hear him in any room.

I am so happy to know that I'm not just a horrible mom who favors one child over the other. It's so comforting to know that I'm not a total bitch who can't stand the people in my life. But, still... there's no fix. I don't know if knowing about misophonia makes things better or worse.