introduction

[Guest guest]

I’m new here and want to introduce myself. Yesterday I was watching Live with ( Ripa) and she mentioned that she couldn’t tolerate the sound of people chewing so it was hard for her to eat with people. My ears perked up and I had to rewind the DVR box and listen to her talk about this again and again. She put a name to it which I had never heard before, misophonia. So off to the computer I went to Google it and to my amazement, I could finally see that I’m not nuts because certain noises annoy me so! I quickly sent the link to my daughter who also has this disorder. Lucky for me, I don’t work and often am alone but she works and has 2 small children so she is always with people. She posted it on Facebook and many people chimed in about their “quirks†with noises and movements.

About me: I am a college graduate and did teach school for a few years before my children were born. I’m 59, have a wonderful husband, 2 daughters (35 and 32), I don’t work outside the home, and we live in Chattanooga, TN. We do have a little log cabin as a 2nd home in the Smoky Mountains of NC where I spend a lot of time. We have 3 dachshunds that are a huge part of our family life. I spend a total of about 5 months a year at the cabin with my dogs and my husband comes up a weekend or 2 a month. I love being by myself and I have often wondered if it’s because people get on my nerves! I have always been slim, healthy, a fitness buff, and never had depression or any other anxiety that I know of other than what we are talking about here. I do get out and am with friends often but staying home with my dogs is my preference.

For me, I can remember being under 10 years old when mouth noises started annoying me. I was very close to my parents but those were the first people who grated on my nerves with their habits. They used to suck their teeth, use toothpicks which made the teeth sucking worse and more frequent, and my dad whistled and jingled change in his pocket and my mom hummed. I can remember being so unnerved by these sounds that I didn’t know what to do and tried to avoid being with them if I could. I was quiet and shy, never have been comfortable with confrontations so I wasn’t able to vocalize my feelings. It made me feel bad because they were really fun and sweet people. A few years before my mom passed away she was in the car with me and I finally blurted out, “Why do you make that noise with your teeth? It’s so annoying!†and she had no idea what I was talking about!

My 35 yr. old daughter and I have talked for many years about things that annoy. Some are:

Sounds:

gum chewing/cracking/popping

open mouth chewing & smacking

chewing of ice

whistling

humming

singing (except by professional in that kind of setting or through the media)

finger or fingernail tapping

drumming of hands on things

foot tapping

jingling of pocket change or keys

Motions:

Leg swinging

People who kick the back of your seat

finger fidgeting

I’m sure I’ve left some things out! For me, whistling and gum chewing are the 2 worst sounds. After my parents passed away, I can’t say that I’ve heard many people who suck their teeth but if I do then at least I can get away from them quickly. My poor daughter works in a small office where one person hums and smacks gum all day. I load her iPod with audiobooks so she can block it out! A few years ago I was shopping in Wal-Mart and started on one side of the store. I heard very loud whistling and after a minute I was feeling the “bristling†that comes on. As I got closer to the food section it got louder. Turns out it was a man who worked in produce. I couldn’t take it any longer so I abandoned my cart and walked out. In Target just last week a cashier was cracking her gum in my face. Luckily I only had a few things to buy and was out as quickly as I could but the whole way to the car and for a few minutes afterwards I was on edge. Employers shouldn’t allow gum chewing! I also can’t stand to be around someone smoking but whether that’s related to this or not I don’t know. I about gag when I smell cigarettes whether the smell is just on someone or I am confronted by the smoke.

Sorry this was so long but it felt good to get this out to people who understand. My husband is a “fidgeter†and often plays with his facial hair or rubs his fingers together or pats his legs and I can’t look at him when he’s doing things like that. I need horse blinders at times! I know he thinks I nag at him, always telling him to stop moving or be quiet. I sent him the website so that he can see that I’m not just a nag, it’s a real thing that happens to me. He’s not even aware that he’s doing those things.

Thanks for reading about me and I look forward to getting support as well as giving it. Hope we find an answer one day.

Bonnie