Any poll data on gender / depression link?

[Guest guest]

Hi - I am new to this group and so happy to have found you.

I'm a 46 year old woman and I've been living with misophonia since age 7. I can

remember the moment it started so clearly. It was at dinner, all of a sudden I

could " hear " my father eating. The sound of people eating has been driving me

crazy since that moment. I'm curious about whether this condition is more

likely to afflict women than men, does anyone know?

New things have been added to my irritant list over time, but I'm not sure

exactly when. Gum chewing, sniffling, coughing, lick smacking and other mouth

sounds, some dogs barking (usually small and high-pitched), drumming

(intermittent, from my neighbour), loud typing, construction noises. I always

used to think it was the intermittent nature of these things that drove me

insane. For example, I like the sound of loud drumming when it is music that

I'm listening to. But, when I get home every night, I can hear the vibrations

of the drumming from two houses down the street, and it makes me crazy.

This condition has had a huge impact on my life. I haven't been able to sustain

relationships because although things always start off well and I think, " this

person / time might be different " , after a couple of months I start hearing

them. In part it could be that after a few months of dating outside the house

in environments with lots of background noise, we start eating at home and I

hear more. Not sure. Anyway, the best times in relationships for me are the

first month or two, and then the moment that the person leaves - I relish the

sound of the door slamming as they leave for the final time because I know I'll

have peace and quiet. I hate myself for being so intolerant. The sound of

kissing drives me crazy too - other people for sure, but also the sounds of

kissing and sex when I am a participant. Again this only occurs after a couple

of months of a relationship. At that time I start wearing ear plugs pretty much

full time to avoid the disgusting noises, which pretty much puts a dampener on

the relationship.

The sound of people walking above me is also a problem and it was a problem for

my family. My parents divorced and I lived with my mom in an old apartment

building. The couple living in the flat above us walked around their place in

their shoes. I took to banging the ceiling with a broom and went upstairs to

tell them to stop, but that just made it worse. I couldn't take it so I moved

out of the apartment. I always have to live on the top floor of a house or

apartment.

I am basically a recluse at this point. I do work full-time, but I have made

sure to find a job where I can have an office and I keep the door closed most of

the time. I've told my team that there's a " no gum " rule, and I keep lunch

appointments or coffee meetings to a minimum because I go berserk at the sound

of people slurping their tea or coffee.

I've also struggled with depression, I'm not sure if it's related or not. I've

tried all of the major anti-depressants and they all made me feel it was

difficult to think. None had any impact on my misophonia. I had pretty good

results with Zoloft, but as we're all different, other drugs made things worse.

Celexa made me feel like I should commit suicide immediately, so I stopped

taking that one. I feel depressed most of the time and think about suicide

regularly. I feel lonely and hopeless about ever spending time with other

people. I've noticed others who have posted about taking anti-depressants.

Does anyone know if there's a causal link, i.e., does misophonia cause

depression, or do we think that they could be structurally or chemically related

in some way?

Even social events are a problem - I can't go to plays or movies because of

other people's sounds, and I always seem to be stuck beside the only person

who's sniffling or chewing gum - always a huge coincidence.

It sounds like I'm coping like so many of you do, with ear plugs, listening to

my ipod when I am in public, using white noise (fans) or loud noise (loud tv and

radio to compete with sounds from neighbours), and avoidance. I haven't tried

NLP or any of the cognitive-behavioural therapies for this yet.