Re: Also frustrated with the attitudes.

[Guest guest]

Hi Bob,

I lived with a friend for 2-3 years during and after college. Wonderful chap. But... He had this habit of conspicuously slurping carbonated sodas out of the can. Once he started on a beverage, I knew I was doomed to an apparent eternity of mind-shattering slurping. I had never met anyone else who ever did this, thus I concluded that he was shattering my mind for no constructive reason.

Clearly, I can sympathize with you. Have you worked out a Sunday School version of the death-stare? Envisioned bumping into his elephantine elbow to spill his coffee? (as many fun times as he needs to get the point?) Researched his least favorite blend and served it with giddy joy?

There was a rare happy ending for my roommate’s elephant soda problem. Eventually, he shared how his mother’s smoking grossed him out. I trusted him well enough to share my mind-shattering soda-slurp tale. He stopped! (Well, I had to remind him on occasion.) As I mentioned, he was a wonderful person.

As a rule, I keep my misophonia a very tightly held secret, because I get angry when someone knowingly makes my noises. On the off chance it helps, my roommate told me he had slurped sodas that way since he was a little kid, and he liked how it released the bubbles of carbonation.

My heart goes out to you,

From: Bob H

Sent: Thursday, May 10, 2012 7:38 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Also frustrated with the attitudes.

I make the coffee for our Sunday School class. Ten to fifteen people drink it. Only one sucks all the air out of the room as he slurps in the coffee, often followed by a tasting sound. Subconsciously he wants everyone to know he really is enjoying his coffee.Everyone hears it. I am the only one who is bothered by it or even notices it. When I mention it later to my wife, she didn't notice it. So why am I the one with a problem? Why do the others not realize there are TWO of us with a problem? HE is the elephant in the room that they do not see. I am the poor idiot the elephant is sitting on. (He usually sits directly behind me.)None of the others have his habit, and even for him, it is not necessary to make such a racket just drinking coffee. I think there ought to at least be as much criticism of his manners as there is of my abnormal sensitivity to it..........I watch TV with my left index finger on the mute button for the kit kat commercial and the microphone inside her tonsils advil commercial! With advil, you only have to gulp like a circus freak every 12 hours!

[Guest guest]

I call people like that "performance eaters". I put the unnecessary slurpers and the people who need to sigh in satisfaction after swallowing in the same category as people who feel compelled to start telling a story as soon as they've put a bite of food in their mouths. Performance eaters and I cannot be friends. My misophonia started when I was very young - maybe 7 or 8. It started with just dinnertime eating noises, but now (I'm 38) everything I associate with eating noises bothers me. I cannot stand watching people chew - even if I cannot hear them. I don't like hearing people talk around gum even when I can't hear them chewing it; I can tell when you have gum in your mouth and it causes me to have violent fantasies. Spoons scraping on plates, the humming sound of a person trying to show they are enjoying their food, gurgling stomachs: I hate them all. My husband is very understanding about the noises and has learned that life is better when we don't eat together. He doesn't understand about the chewing visuals, though.And television - ugh! That Kit Kat ad and there's a mouthwash ad that's mostly sloshing and squishing sounds. That soda slurp and Ahhhh! thing was in a lot of Coca Cola (?) ads a lot back in the 80s. I remember it made me want to punch the tv. I watch all my tv on the internet, now, so I'm not exposed to as many ads anymore. I am mostly able to control my reactions these days - there's occasional glaring and my friends are very understanding when I ask them to chew quieter - but I almost lost my shit when I saw that horrible scene in The Return of the King. It made me want to vomit on someone while killing them. It's good that there was nobody present for me to reasonably point my rage at.Sandy I make the coffee for our Sunday School class. Ten to fifteen people drink it. Only one sucks all the air out of the room as he slurps in the coffee, often followed by a tasting sound. Subconsciously he wants everyone to know he really is enjoying his coffee. Everyone hears it. I am the only one who is bothered by it or even notices it. When I mention it later to my wife, she didn't notice it. So why am I the one with a problem? Why do the others not realize there are TWO of us with a problem? HE is the elephant in the room that they do not see. I am the poor idiot the elephant is sitting on. (He usually sits directly behind me.) None of the others have his habit, and even for him, it is not necessary to make such a racket just drinking coffee. I think there ought to at least be as much criticism of his manners as there is of my abnormal sensitivity to it. ......... I watch TV with my left index finger on the mute button for the kit kat commercial and the microphone inside her tonsils advil commercial! With advil, you only have to gulp like a circus freak every 12 hours!

[Guest guest]

Stories like this - where others neither notice nor care about bad manners -

make me wonder if table manners were " invented " by a misophoniac. This article

on British Table Manners even includes " Do not scrape your plate with your

cutlery " . http://britishetiquetterevival.co.uk/Table_Manners

Perhaps some influential aristocrat back whenever had misophonia and everyone

complied with their wishes in order to stay in favour

Liesa

>

> I make the coffee for our Sunday School class. Ten to fifteen people drink

it. Only one sucks all the air out of the room as he slurps in the coffee,

often followed by a tasting sound. Subconsciously he wants everyone to know he

really is enjoying his coffee.

>

> Everyone hears it. I am the only one who is bothered by it or even notices

it. When I mention it later to my wife, she didn't notice it. So why am I the

one with a problem? Why do the others not realize there are TWO of us with a

problem? HE is the elephant in the room that they do not see. I am the poor

idiot the elephant is sitting on. (He usually sits directly behind me.)

>

> None of the others have his habit, and even for him, it is not necessary to

make such a racket just drinking coffee. I think there ought to at least be as

much criticism of his manners as there is of my abnormal sensitivity to it.

[Guest guest]

I feel ya. I work with a girl that drinks soda the entire day, which first off,

is disgusting, but she makes this " Uhhhhhhhh " sound after every drink. It makes

me want to rip her head off.

>

> I make the coffee for our Sunday School class. Ten to fifteen people drink

it. Only one sucks all the air out of the room as he slurps in the coffee,

often followed by a tasting sound. Subconsciously he wants everyone to know he

really is enjoying his coffee.

>

> Everyone hears it. I am the only one who is bothered by it or even notices

it. When I mention it later to my wife, she didn't notice it. So why am I the

one with a problem? Why do the others not realize there are TWO of us with a

problem? HE is the elephant in the room that they do not see. I am the poor

idiot the elephant is sitting on. (He usually sits directly behind me.)

>

> None of the others have his habit, and even for him, it is not necessary to

make such a racket just drinking coffee. I think there ought to at least be as

much criticism of his manners as there is of my abnormal sensitivity to it.

>

> .........

>

> I watch TV with my left index finger on the mute button for the kit kat

commercial and the microphone inside her tonsils advil commercial! With advil,

you only have to gulp like a circus freak every 12 hours!

>

[Guest guest]

I agree 100 percent Bob ! The point is this guys behaviour  is extremely poor manners. Why do we need to put up with these type of things or be labeled as weird ? I ask people to please not slurp and make noise when they are drinking. If they don't , I do something to irritate them. Is that right ?? Probably not, but why should I have to be sensitive and not them.  Animals drink like that, not decent human beings.