Hypocritical Disorder? Phantom sounds

[Guest guest]

I am new here! Just joined today. I wanted to vent about my condition and how

terrible I have felt about my " unreasonable demands " that plagued my family life

growing up. I often times heard the sounds even when they weren't occurring. I

blamed mostly my sister when I was really young but the blame slowly shifted

towards my mother. Other people could smack while chewing and I would feel the

rage, but when my sister or my mother made the sound the rage would be boiling

and violent thoughts, I would never mention, occurred!

Does other people have this issue where the problem seems to be worse with the

people your closest too. A pattern I notice is when a person is closer to me,

and I have vocalized my problem to them, they just blow it off as if I am just

an " unreasonable person " . This in turn makes the sounds worse for me when it's

coming from these people. If I've known them longer the worse the sounds are

amplified!

Finally does anyone have the issue of hearing phantom sounds from these people

close to you. It seemed that after smacking occurred I swear the sound kept on

after they removed their gum to try and calm me down. I would put head sets on

and listen to loud music but I swear I heard the sound, even if it wasn't

occurring!

If I here the sound from total strangers I still get extremely enraged, but only

with the real bad triggers, gum chewing and the worst of the worst gum popping

(or the combination of two ... I cringe thinking of the pop followed by opened

mouth chew chew chew! It seems the really loud gum chewers are the talkative,

constantly gossiping on the phone, high " Fran The Nanny " like voice/attitudes.

Perhaps I am only noticing the sounds from people like this for a reason.

However, I do here the sounds from other people as well, I just get annoyed more

when its emanating from a certain " class " of people.

Does anyone also have the phantom sound issue? Like I said, I think it's linked

to the idea that these people should no better but they don't seem to either

care or just blow it off like it's not their problem which makes their offending

sounds worse and more amplified.

I feel so hypocritical, or like I have a controlling problem. The only thing I

ever try to control is involved with this disorder, I am otherwise an extremely

laid back do what you will type of guy!