Guest guest Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Since you are no longer attracted to him, your decision is made. A lifetime is a LONG time to spend with someone whose normal activities are triggers for you. Move on. Relationships Hello all! I am 19, have been in a relationship with a great guy (who is 23) for about 5 months now. At first everything was fabulous and i thought he was the one. But recently EVERYTHING he does drives me crazy! He understand my condition (4s) and is cautious of what he does. But now even smaller sounds of his are beginning to bother me. Like when he sings country music, and the "twang" in his voice makes me want to strangle Him. Also, I am no longer attracted to him. Like the thought of having sexual relations just makes my stomach turn..... Has anyone else had this experience w 4s before? And when you finally found "the one" were your triggers worse w them, or better bc you loved them? Or was it the same with every relationship and when you found the one to settle down with you just worked harder at the relationship to not let it fail because of miso? Or do y'all think it has nothing to do w miso and we just aren't meant to be ? Soooo confused :/ - P<3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Hi ,You've probably heard this many times before; " you're so young, dear; there are other fish in the ocean." However, I know that you probably don't want to hear that. I felt that "he's the one" a couple of times since I was 19. In retrospect, I realized only after, oh boy, was I wrong!!!!!I agree with Mike, if you are no longer attracted to him--that's a BIG cue. Imagine how you'll feel 10 - 15 years from now with him re the triggers? Good luck,Margaret To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Tuesday, June 5, 2012 12:06:49 AM Subject: Re: Relationships Since you are no longer attracted to him, your decision is made. A lifetime is a LONG time to spend with someone whose normal activities are triggers for you. Move on. Relationships Hello all! I am 19, have been in a relationship with a great guy (who is 23) for about 5 months now. At first everything was fabulous and i thought he was the one. But recently EVERYTHING he does drives me crazy! He understand my condition (4s) and is cautious of what he does. But now even smaller sounds of his are beginning to bother me. Like when he sings country music, and the "twang" in his voice makes me want to strangle Him. Also, I am no longer attracted to him. Like the thought of having sexual relations just makes my stomach turn..... Has anyone else had this experience w 4s before? And when you finally found "the one" were your triggers worse w them, or better bc you loved them? Or was it the same with every relationship and when you found the one to settle down with you just worked harder at the relationship to not let it fail because of miso? Or do y'all think it has nothing to do w miso and we just aren't meant to be ? Soooo confused :/ - P<3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 , I agree with Mike, I think you should move on. To answer your other question, it is different for everyone, but I can tell you that when I met my ex he didn't drive me crazy at all and I was more tolerant of him. So in my personal opinion, if you can't stand to be around this guy anymore he isn't the one. Life is too short to be miserable! Good luck > > Hello all! I am 19, have been in a relationship with a great guy (who is 23) for about 5 months now. At first everything was fabulous and i thought he was the one. But recently EVERYTHING he does drives me crazy! He understand my condition (4s) and is cautious of what he does. But now even smaller sounds of his are beginning to bother me. Like when he sings country music, and the " twang " in his voice makes me want to strangle > Him. Also, I am no longer attracted to him. Like the thought of having sexual relations just makes my stomach turn..... Has anyone else had this experience w 4s before? And when you finally found " the one " were your triggers worse w them, or better bc you loved them? Or was it the same with every relationship and when you found the one to settle down with you just worked harder at the relationship to not let it fail because of miso? Or do y'all think it has nothing to do w miso and we just aren't meant to be ? Soooo confused :/ - P<3 > > Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2012 Report Share Posted June 5, 2012 Sam have you ever ask him to come with you to your Dr. & opened the majority of that appointment for your boyfriend so he could get the underswtanding of your condition? Its been awhile since I've writen someone with this advice. I do this myslef. I also when I'm working for someone I get them all the information I can on my connidition & bring it to them & if it would help I'll even let the person talk to my Dr. Try this & let me know the out come even if you want to send it under a seperate cove & private. Don't worry about it getting out I'm a sitting member of a DMH HUMAN RIGHTS COMMITTEE & anything you tell me in PRIVATE will stay that PRIVATE unless state and/or federal laws say other wise. This is because I'm under a code of sillance & can be SERIOUSLY DISSIAPLEN by state & federal laws Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2012 Report Share Posted June 5, 2012 I agree. If you are no longer attracted to him.... well, there ya go. But I can tell you that misophonia has definately hurt relationships for me, all throughout my life. Hang in there. Some day, you may find someone that either understands or is very sensitive to your issues. Not being attracted to them anymore is a sure sign that it may not be the 4s though. :~) ~Cat To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Monday, June 4, 2012 8:06 PM Subject: Re: Relationships Since you are no longer attracted to him, your decision is made. A lifetime is a LONG time to spend with someone whose normal activities are triggers for you. Move on. Relationships Hello all! I am 19, have been in a relationship with a great guy (who is 23) for about 5 months now. At first everything was fabulous and i thought he was the one. But recently EVERYTHING he does drives me crazy! He understand my condition (4s) and is cautious of what he does. But now even smaller sounds of his are beginning to bother me. Like when he sings country music, and the "twang" in his voice makes me want to strangle Him. Also, I am no longer attracted to him. Like the thought of having sexual relations just makes my stomach turn..... Has anyone else had this experience w 4s before? And when you finally found "the one" were your triggers worse w them, or better bc you loved them? Or was it the same with every relationship and when you found the one to settle down with you just worked harder at the relationship to not let it fail because of miso? Or do y'all think it has nothing to do w miso and we just aren't meant to be ? Soooo confused :/ - P<3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2012 Report Share Posted June 5, 2012 I completely agree, Mike. , if you're not attracted to him anymore, there's your answer, misophonia or not. If I could offer you some advice from 30 years down the road...reconsider the romantic concept of " the one. " There are over seven billion people in the world. How likely is it that any of us would ever meet " the one " at any point in our lifetime, much less in our hometown or at our school??! The reality is that you will meet any number of potentially compatible mates. I personally have had long-term relationships with some extraordinary men over the years, each of them a fabulous individual, each bringing pros and cons into the relationship - as I did. Sometimes the compatibility works for the long haul, and sometimes it doesn't. We live and learn, and we love again - not necessarily just once, which might be the romantic ideal, but which simply isn't reality for so many of us. And guess what? It's not the end of the world. ;-) Please give it some thought. -Tam > > Since you are no longer attracted to him, your decision is made. > > A lifetime is a LONG time to spend with someone whose normal activities are triggers for you. Move on. > > > > Relationships > > > > > > Hello all! I am 19, have been in a relationship with a great guy (who is 23) for about 5 months now. At first everything was fabulous and i thought he was the one. But recently EVERYTHING he does drives me crazy! He understand my condition (4s) and is cautious of what he does. But now even smaller sounds of his are beginning to bother me. Like when he sings country music, and the " twang " in his voice makes me want to strangle > Him. Also, I am no longer attracted to him. Like the thought of having sexual relations just makes my stomach turn..... Has anyone else had this experience w 4s before? And when you finally found " the one " were your triggers worse w them, or better bc you loved them? Or was it the same with every relationship and when you found the one to settle down with you just worked harder at the relationship to not let it fail because of miso? Or do y'all think it has nothing to do w miso and we just aren't meant to be ? Soooo confused :/ - P<3 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2012 Report Share Posted June 5, 2012 I agree with everyone else who has responded - you're probably not attracted to him for other reasons, and the misophonia just comes out more now that you're unhappy with him. Pay attention to how you feel when you're triggered - are you stressed out? did you just have an argument with him? Is something about him bothering you, besides the noises? My exbf would make weird mouth/saliva noises, like slurping his own spittle. Mouth breather. He had a deviated septum and always had his mouth hanging open. It always bothered me, but as our relationship declined, it became unbearable, amongst many other things. Ultimately, I think your attitude about someone affects how triggered you are by them - maybe the amount of time you spend with them, too. I can find something to be triggered about in almost everyone I know, but I don't dislike all my friends because they slurp or burp. I think you are moving away from your bf because there's probably something else going on, and the miso just comes out more when you're agitated. > > Hello all! I am 19, have been in a relationship with a great guy (who is 23) for about 5 months now. At first everything was fabulous and i thought he was the one. But recently EVERYTHING he does drives me crazy! He understand my condition (4s) and is cautious of what he does. But now even smaller sounds of his are beginning to bother me. Like when he sings country music, and the " twang " in his voice makes me want to strangle > Him. Also, I am no longer attracted to him. Like the thought of having sexual relations just makes my stomach turn..... Has anyone else had this experience w 4s before? And when you finally found " the one " were your triggers worse w them, or better bc you loved them? Or was it the same with every relationship and when you found the one to settle down with you just worked harder at the relationship to not let it fail because of miso? Or do y'all think it has nothing to do w miso and we just aren't meant to be ? Soooo confused :/ - P<3 > > Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2012 Report Share Posted June 5, 2012 I will definitely try and let you know! Thanks a bunch for the advice !Sent from my iPhone Sam have you ever ask him to come with you to your Dr. & opened the majority of that appointment for your boyfriend so he could get the underswtanding of your condition? Its been awhile since I've writen someone with this advice. I do this myslef. I also when I'm working for someone I get them all the information I can on my connidition & bring it to them & if it would help I'll even let the person talk to my Dr. Try this & let me know the out come even if you want to send it under a seperate cove & private. Don't worry about it getting out I'm a sitting member of a DMH HUMAN RIGHTS COMMITTEE & anything you tell me in PRIVATE will stay that PRIVATE unless state and/or federal laws say other wise. This is because I'm under a code of sillance & can be SERIOUSLY DISSIAPLEN by state & federal laws Jim = Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2012 Report Share Posted June 6, 2012 I've been with my husband since I was 17 (I'm 32!) He wasn't always my trigger. Now, there are certain things he does that just make me mad! When he clips his nails, the way he opens his mouth when he eats (like, WHY do your lips have to CURL when you want to put food in your mouth) the sounds he makes, his breathing (which only gets heavier as they get older and heavier themselves) the certain way he says words... I could go on and on and on!!!!! My point is, it's a miserable life when the person you choose to spend it with annoys the living shit out of you!!!! So, being that you're no longer attracted to him (possibly because of the triggers) there is no reason to tie yourself down forever. You're setting yourself up to be unhappy from the start. > > > > Hello all! I am 19, have been in a relationship with a great guy (who is 23) for about 5 months now. At first everything was fabulous and i thought he was the one. But recently EVERYTHING he does drives me crazy! He understand my condition (4s) and is cautious of what he does. But now even smaller sounds of his are beginning to bother me. Like when he sings country music, and the " twang " in his voice makes me want to strangle > > Him. Also, I am no longer attracted to him. Like the thought of having sexual relations just makes my stomach turn..... Has anyone else had this experience w 4s before? And when you finally found " the one " were your triggers worse w them, or better bc you loved them? Or was it the same with every relationship and when you found the one to settle down with you just worked harder at the relationship to not let it fail because of miso? Or do y'all think it has nothing to do w miso and we just aren't meant to be ? Soooo confused :/ - P<3 > > > > Sent from my iPhone > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2012 Report Share Posted June 7, 2012 Hi Sweetheart, Wow, I've been there... takes me back to read your post. Most likely you haven't found 'the one' yet, as so many have pointed out in their posts, especially if you're no longer attracted and you're just about creeped out by him. But I have a different take on things than others. I have to admit that I despair of this issue, mainly because even if I really like a person, and have a good relationship with them, I fear that the 4S will always make me eventually want to be AWAY from them (as in away from their presence) rather than near them... which translates to growing distance in the relationship. I haven't really felt like I could talk about the 4S with most friends or boyfriends, and maybe that is part of the problem, but still... I look back on some of the nicer guys I've had for boyfriends and wonder how things might have turned out were it not for the 4S. Without that added barrier, would it have been enough to push through other issues, get through them, become closer and develop even better and more lasting intimacy? Instead, there have been times that even while mourning a break up, the relief of being away from the triggers has almost balanced it out! Since I have recently had great success wearing the 'hidden' smaller flesh-colored ear plugs (a great idea I got from this group, thank you so much!), that most people don't notice, and it has meant being able to be around some friends and family who have some major trigger noises, maybe this will be the saving grace later on - provided of course, that a partner doesn't mind you wearing them all the time when you're around them! Honestly I'd be willing to wear the plugs most of the time, because it's such a relief to me, but I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a partner to understand and not feel slighted. And what about during intimacy? Would it be okay to leave the ear plugs in then? Food for thought. I suppose at the end of the day, what you want is a partner who gives you permission to talk about 4S, to believe you and be understanding about it, and support whatever you need to do to lessen your discomfort. > > Hello all! I am 19, have been in a relationship with a great guy (who is 23) for about 5 months now. At first everything was fabulous and i thought he was the one. But recently EVERYTHING he does drives me crazy! He understand my condition (4s) and is cautious of what he does. But now even smaller sounds of his are beginning to bother me. Like when he sings country music, and the " twang " in his voice makes me want to strangle > Him. Also, I am no longer attracted to him. Like the thought of having sexual relations just makes my stomach turn..... Has anyone else had this experience w 4s before? And when you finally found " the one " were your triggers worse w them, or better bc you loved them? Or was it the same with every relationship and when you found the one to settle down with you just worked harder at the relationship to not let it fail because of miso? Or do y'all think it has nothing to do w miso and we just aren't meant to be ? Soooo confused :/ - P<3 > > Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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