Guest guest Posted December 2, 1998 Report Share Posted December 2, 1998 Ladies, In an attempt to lighten up your day, I thought I would pass on some humor I received this morning. I hope it gives you a laugh. Janis > > Q. What does HMO stand for? > A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, " Hey, Moe! " Its roots go > back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe , who discovered > that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if > he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the > physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and > referral slips, but the result remains the same. > > Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification? > A. No. Only those you need. > > Q. I just joined a new HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the > doctor I want? > A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your > insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were > participating in the plan at the time the information was gathered. > These doctors basically fall into two categories -- those who are no > longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no > longer part of the plan. But don't worry -- the remaining doctor who > is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a > half day's drive away! > > Q. What are pre-existing conditions? > A. This is a phrase used by the grammatically challenged when they > want to talk about existing conditions. Unfortunately, we appear > to be pre-stuck with it. > > Q. Well, can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions? > A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment. > > Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine? > A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment. > > Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name > brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach > ache. What should I do? > A. Poke yourself in the eye. > > Q. I have an 80/20 plan with a $200 deductible and a $2,000 yearly > cap. My insurer reimbursed the doctor for my out-patient surgery, > but I'd already paid my bill. What should I do? > A. You have two choices. Your doctor can sign the reimbursement > check over to you, or you can ask him to invest the money for you in > one of those great offers that only doctors and dentists hear about, > like windmill farms or frog hatcheries. > > Q. What should I do if I get sick while traveling? > A. Try sitting in a different part of the bus. > > Q. No, I mean what if I'm away from home and I get sick? > A. You really shouldn't do that. You'll have a hard time seeing > your primary care physician. It's best to wait until you return, > and then get sick. > > Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can > handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a > heart transplant right in his office? > A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $10 > co-payment, there's no harm giving him a shot at it. > > Q. What accounts for the largest portion of health care costs? > A. Doctors trying to recoup their investment losses. > > Q. Will health care be any different in the next century? > A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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