Struggling with the basics

[Guest guest]

I recently joined the group and I'm in need of any advice anyone can give me.

I'm a custodial step-mother to two girls on the spectrum; one has Asperger's,

the other is autistic and has mental retardation. The youngest has been our

biggest struggle.

She's somewhere in the middle of the spectrum and she's 12, will be 13 in

September. Since the day I met my husband, she has always had toileting issues.

When we first met, she was urinating and defecating in them multiple times a

day. We've worked very hard with her and she now does not pee in her pants

except at night and we've only had maybe 5 times in the last year where she's

pooped in her pants. However, we cannot seem to get across to her the need to

properly wipe herself after she goes. We remind every time she goes to the

bathroom, we've tried a picture chart, and while those things work for a while,

she slides back into not wiping or washing her hands.

She sees a targeted case manager through our local mental health agency and the

case manager has talked with her and worked with her but it only lasts for so

long before she's back to not using proper hygiene. Getting her teachers at

school on board about this has been less than successful, too. She also still

pees the bed at night. She's outgrown Pull-Ups and now we're putting her in

adult-type pull-ups and using reusable bed chucks and waterproof mattress pads.

We are really at our wits end in how to get her to catch on to the concept of

cleaning herself and we're willing to try anything we can find. There are no

autism therapy programs available to us without traveling a great distance.

Thanks in advance!