Re: I need some comfort....

[Guest guest]

Dear Ginny,

You don't have to be perfect to deserve kindness. That's fortunate, since nobody

is perfect. Would you tell another person, " You didn't behave as well as you

should have, so you're not a good person " ? I don't think so, because that would

be mean, and I don't think you're mean to other people. I think the only person

you criticize this way is yourself.

You are trying hard to adjust your behavior. which is difficult and frustrating

work. I think you need support and kindness from other people and from yourself,

too. Try not to tell yourself that you are not good or not a pleasant person.

For most people I know, too much self-criticism is counterproductive. It hurts

instead of helping. Tell yourself that you are a good person who is working to

be better, because that's both true and helpful.

Being mean to yourself is not a virtue. A lot of people do it, though. I do it,

even though I know it isn't helpful. Let's keep our goals in sight, but not put

ourselves down because we haven't reached them yet. Be kind to yourself.

Dawn

From: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

[mailto:Autism_in_Girls_and_Women ] On Behalf Of Ginny McGill

Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 2:07 AM

To: Autism Groups

Subject: I need some comfort....

Will someone comfort me.....and say good things about me....I don't feel like a

pleasant person right now.

[Guest guest]

Dawn, I think this is a beautiful and empowering message. I think I will

print it out and tack it to my bulletin board near my desk where I can

always see it. It's a wonderful reminder to maintain perspective and

acknowledge that we all need to be kind to ourselves, not just others.

Best,

~CJ

Dawn Friedman wrote:

>

> You don't have to be perfect to deserve kindness. That's fortunate, since

nobody

> is perfect. Would you tell another person, " You didn't behave as well as you

> should have, so you're not a good person " ? I don't think so, because that

would

> be mean, and I don't think you're mean to other people. I think the only

person

> you criticize this way is yourself.

>

>

>

> You are trying hard to adjust your behavior. which is difficult and

frustrating

> work. I think you need support and kindness from other people and from

yourself,

> too. Try not to tell yourself that you are not good or not a pleasant person.

> For most people I know, too much self-criticism is counterproductive. It hurts

> instead of helping. Tell yourself that you are a good person who is working to

> be better, because that's both true and helpful.

>

>

>

> Being mean to yourself is not a virtue. A lot of people do it, though. I do

it,

> even though I know it isn't helpful. Let's keep our goals in sight, but not

put

> ourselves down because we haven't reached them yet. Be kind to yourself.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Be nice to yourself, one day at a time and in time your will be in a bright

future of many nice days.

Bev

>

> Dear Ginny,

>

>

>

> You don't have to be perfect to deserve kindness. That's fortunate, since

nobody

> is perfect. Would you tell another person, " You didn't behave as well as you

> should have, so you're not a good person " ? I don't think so, because that

would

> be mean, and I don't think you're mean to other people. I think the only

person

> you criticize this way is yourself.

>

>

>

> You are trying hard to adjust your behavior. which is difficult and

frustrating

> work. I think you need support and kindness from other people and from

yourself,

> too. Try not to tell yourself that you are not good or not a pleasant person.

> For most people I know, too much self-criticism is counterproductive. It hurts

> instead of helping. Tell yourself that you are a good person who is working to

> be better, because that's both true and helpful.

>

>

>

> Being mean to yourself is not a virtue. A lot of people do it, though. I do

it,

> even though I know it isn't helpful. Let's keep our goals in sight, but not

put

> ourselves down because we haven't reached them yet. Be kind to yourself.

>

>

>

> Dawn

>

>

>

>

>

> From: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

> [mailto:Autism_in_Girls_and_Women ] On Behalf Of Ginny McGill

> Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 2:07 AM

> To: Autism Groups

> Subject: I need some comfort....

>

>

>

>

>

> Will someone comfort me.....and say good things about me....I don't feel like

a

> pleasant person right now.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

I posted the following to the group on Saturday, yet my post never

appeared in the group. Just wanted to make sure that you received a copy...

Best,

~CJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn, I think this is a beautiful and empowering message. I think I will

print it out and tack it to my bulletin board near my desk where I can

always see it. It's a wonderful reminder to maintain perspective and

acknowledge that we all need to be kind to ourselves, not just others.

Best,

~CJ

Dawn Friedman wrote:

>

> You don't have to be perfect to deserve kindness. That's fortunate, since

nobody

> is perfect. Would you tell another person, " You didn't behave as well as you

> should have, so you're not a good person " ? I don't think so, because that

would

> be mean, and I don't think you're mean to other people. I think the only

person

> you criticize this way is yourself.

>

>

>

> You are trying hard to adjust your behavior. which is difficult and

frustrating

> work. I think you need support and kindness from other people and from

yourself,

> too. Try not to tell yourself that you are not good or not a pleasant person.

> For most people I know, too much self-criticism is counterproductive. It hurts

> instead of helping. Tell yourself that you are a good person who is working to

> be better, because that's both true and helpful.

>

>

>

> Being mean to yourself is not a virtue. A lot of people do it, though. I do

it,

> even though I know it isn't helpful. Let's keep our goals in sight, but not

put

> ourselves down because we haven't reached them yet. Be kind to yourself.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi CJ,

Thanks so much for your kind words. I find it a lot easier to urge other people

to be gentle with themselves than to carry it out for myself!

Dawn

Re: I need some comfort....

Hi Dawn,

I posted the following to the group on Saturday, yet my post never appeared in

the group. Just wanted to make sure that you received a copy...

Best,

~CJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn, I think this is a beautiful and empowering message. I think I will print

it out and tack it to my bulletin board near my desk where I can always see it.

It's a wonderful reminder to maintain perspective and acknowledge that we all

need to be kind to ourselves, not just others.

Best,

~CJ

Dawn Friedman wrote:

>

> You don't have to be perfect to deserve kindness. That's fortunate,

> since nobody is perfect. Would you tell another person, " You didn't

> behave as well as you should have, so you're not a good person " ? I

> don't think so, because that would be mean, and I don't think you're

> mean to other people. I think the only person you criticize this way is

yourself.

>

>

>

> You are trying hard to adjust your behavior. which is difficult and

> frustrating work. I think you need support and kindness from other

> people and from yourself, too. Try not to tell yourself that you are not good

or not a pleasant person.

> For most people I know, too much self-criticism is counterproductive.

> It hurts instead of helping. Tell yourself that you are a good person

> who is working to be better, because that's both true and helpful.

>

>

>

> Being mean to yourself is not a virtue. A lot of people do it, though.

> I do it, even though I know it isn't helpful. Let's keep our goals in

> sight, but not put ourselves down because we haven't reached them yet. Be kind

to yourself.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi CJ,

I saw your message, so it did make it to the board Saturday....just FYI!

>

>

> Hi Dawn,

>

> I posted the following to the group on Saturday, yet my post never

> appeared in the group. Just wanted to make sure that you received a copy...

>

> Best,

> ~CJ

>