Re: Concerns for my Daughter

[Guest guest]

I don't think teaching things that are dangerous are necessarily a bad idea,

even for a lower functioning child. I don't agree in putting her in a dangerous

situation to show her it's dangerous though. My daughter is lower functioning as

well and we use tons of pictures to teach her things. For instance, to teach her

the word 'pain' we use a lightening bolt. If we notice that she is holding her

head and crying I will show her picture of head and a picture of a lightening

bolt. I am not sure she gets it but at least this doesn't hurt her. I then say

" does your head (show picture of head) hurt (show lightening bolt)? It's not

easy to teach such concepts to her but at least we try. I don't think you are

over protective at all. Did you ask her teacher how she would approach teaching

these concepts?

Tina

Concerns for my Daughter

To: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

> I'm trying to decide if I'm being over protective or If I am

> justified in my

> feelings here..

>

>

>

> " Grandpa " - The family friend that is basically a grandfather

> to my

> children brought the idea of exposing Kendra to more " Dangers "

> and teaching

> her what's good and what's bad etc. The example he used was a

> hot burner (we

> have a glass top stove)

>

>

>

> His suggestion was " exposing " her to such things as that so that

> she can

> learn they could harm her. (not burn her.. that's not what he

> was talking

> about)

>

>

>

> Well INSTANTLY I went on the defensive, Kendra is a lower functioning

> child, she has zero FEAR OF DANGER. and I don't think that can

> be a

> " LEARNED " thing. but still " grandpa " insists that these are

> things that she

> needs to learn to be able to function in life.

>

>

>

> I don't think she will get it, and I don't think exposing her to

> things that

> could potentially harm/scar her is a great idea.

>

>

>

> Am I being over protective? Underestimating my daughter?

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I don't think it's being over protective at all.

I think our friends and family mean well, but no matter how hard they may

try, they just don't always get it.

My daughter is higher functioning and has no concept of danger. She has

learned now (almost 9) that she can not touch the stove, this is after not

one, not 2, but 3 burns (the first was pretty bad but could have been much

worse, the other two weren't all that bad but still hurt a lot) on her

hands from touching the stove after I've shut it off. Granted she was much

younger when those burns happened, but she did NOT learn from being told

not to touch, and didn't learn from having touched and burned herself.

After it happened the first time, my family and friends all said something

to the effects of " at least it wasn't too too bad, and on the bright side

she won't do that again! " But it wasn't long after the bandage came off

that she DID do it again (and then again)

We had/have, to watch her like a hawk, cause when you think she's past a

stage (like running off) and let your guard down, then she does it again.

We talk about dangers all the time, I especially tell her that we don't

talk to people we don't know, but she is WAY too social to understand that

not all those people may be nice people. She's never met a stranger, I

don't know that we'll ever get her to realize when it's ok to talk to

people and when she should just stay to herself. Or to read when people are

not so interested in talking to her.

Some people are great, she talks and they do their best to understand her

and what she is saying, but other people don't want to be bothered and do

their best to ignore her without being too rude, but she doesn't see those

clues/hints at all.

Anyway, I certainly wouldn't intentionally put my daughter in harm's way

just to show her the situation is dangerous. I would just tell 'grandpa'

that while you really appreciate the love and caring he has shown her, that

you know her best and that while you are in favor of teaching her about

dangers, it must be done your way.

Theresa

On Mon, May 14, 2012 at 1:48 AM, Scarbrough <

paganmom2003@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> I'm trying to decide if I'm being over protective or If I am justified in

> my

> feelings here..

>

> " Grandpa " - The family friend that is basically a grandfather to my

> children brought the idea of exposing Kendra to more " Dangers " and teaching

> her what's good and what's bad etc. The example he used was a hot burner

> (we

> have a glass top stove)

>

> His suggestion was " exposing " her to such things as that so that she can

> learn they could harm her. (not burn her.. that's not what he was talking

> about)

>

> Well INSTANTLY I went on the defensive, Kendra is a lower functioning

> child, she has zero FEAR OF DANGER. and I don't think that can be a

> " LEARNED " thing. but still " grandpa " insists that these are things that she

> needs to learn to be able to function in life.

>

> I don't think she will get it, and I don't think exposing her to things

> that

> could potentially harm/scar her is a great idea.

>

> Am I being over protective? Underestimating my daughter?

>

>

[Guest guest]

I to think he is of right in a mild way of connecting but at the same time a

disconnected fashion.. You can teach her the word danger and each time she goes

near the stove for example you can firmly shout no danger ... use this word

often as a means of teaching her to stop not move not touch .. sort of way some

use of this same approach as red light ... but do not use a bunch of words use

the same word you choose for danger to consistently over and over to teach her

danger. and only focus on the things she currently apprears to be doing already

consistently that is a safety factor.

sondra adult living with autism in Ohio

>

> I'm trying to decide if I'm being over protective or If I am justified in my

> feelings here..

>

>

>

> " Grandpa " - The family friend that is basically a grandfather to my

> children brought the idea of exposing Kendra to more " Dangers " and teaching

> her what's good and what's bad etc. The example he used was a hot burner (we

> have a glass top stove)

>

>

>

> His suggestion was " exposing " her to such things as that so that she can

> learn they could harm her. (not burn her.. that's not what he was talking

> about)

>

>

>

> Well INSTANTLY I went on the defensive, Kendra is a lower functioning

> child, she has zero FEAR OF DANGER. and I don't think that can be a

> " LEARNED " thing. but still " grandpa " insists that these are things that she

> needs to learn to be able to function in life.

>

>

>

> I don't think she will get it, and I don't think exposing her to things that

> could potentially harm/scar her is a great idea.

>

>

>

> Am I being over protective? Underestimating my daughter?

>

>

>

>