In explanation of social ineptness

[Guest guest]

I would ask him how he felt about that. He is an adult in his early 50's, if I

recall correctly. Unfortunately there are all kinds of misconceptions about

autism and Aspergers, not helped by the " AS made me do it " legal defenses and it

can close doors to some vocations. So really, I would let the decision be his as

to whether or not to disclose, unless he is already on disability and you are

his caregiver due to the severity of his condition. Just my opinion, others may

have different thoughts on this. , what do you think?

- Helen

> Most people are somewhat aware of Autism but not of Aspergers. Is it the

opinion of this group that it is okay to say of my AS son, " He has a touch of

Autism " , when explanations are necessary? What do you do?

>

[Guest guest]

I would ask him how he felt about that. He is an adult in his early 50's, if I

recall correctly. Unfortunately there are all kinds of misconceptions about

autism and Aspergers, not helped by the " AS made me do it " legal defenses and it

can close doors to some vocations. So really, I would let the decision be his as

to whether or not to disclose, unless he is already on disability and you are

his caregiver due to the severity of his condition. Just my opinion, others may

have different thoughts on this. , what do you think?

- Helen

> Most people are somewhat aware of Autism but not of Aspergers. Is it the

opinion of this group that it is okay to say of my AS son, " He has a touch of

Autism " , when explanations are necessary? What do you do?

>

[Guest guest]

> Most people are somewhat aware of Autism but not of Aspergers. Is it the

opinion of this group that it is okay to say of my AS son, " He has a touch of

Autism " , when explanations are necessary? What do you do?

Yes, that sounds OK to me. What I usually say when I'm pointing out

my own oddities to reasonably educated NT acquaintances is something like:

" I've recently discovered I have a form of autism which means

I think differently and relate to people differently " .

I used to say " ....a mild form of autism.... " but decided to drop the

" mild " bit since the severity partly depends on the beholder and on

which particular aspie issues in the spectrum we're talking about.

(70yr old dx'd at age 67)

[Guest guest]

> Most people are somewhat aware of Autism but not of Aspergers. Is it the

opinion of this group that it is okay to say of my AS son, " He has a touch of

Autism " , when explanations are necessary? What do you do?

Our opinion doesn't matter … if your son is old enough to have an opinion, his

opinion is the important one.

In the communities where I've lived, " autism " equals " unable to function in

society " and Asperger's means " now we know why the weird kids were so weird " .

People don't understand the concept of Spectrum, so can't interpret " a touch of

autism " any more than they understand " half pregnant " .

That's in my community, though. Yours may be different.

--Liz

[Guest guest]

> Most people are somewhat aware of Autism but not of Aspergers. Is it the

opinion of this group that it is okay to say of my AS son, " He has a touch of

Autism " , when explanations are necessary? What do you do?

Our opinion doesn't matter … if your son is old enough to have an opinion, his

opinion is the important one.

In the communities where I've lived, " autism " equals " unable to function in

society " and Asperger's means " now we know why the weird kids were so weird " .

People don't understand the concept of Spectrum, so can't interpret " a touch of

autism " any more than they understand " half pregnant " .

That's in my community, though. Yours may be different.

--Liz

[Guest guest]

> Most people are somewhat aware of Autism but not of Aspergers. Is it the

opinion of this group that it is okay to say of my AS son, " He has a touch of

Autism " , when explanations are necessary? What do you do?

Our opinion doesn't matter … if your son is old enough to have an opinion, his

opinion is the important one.

In the communities where I've lived, " autism " equals " unable to function in

society " and Asperger's means " now we know why the weird kids were so weird " .

People don't understand the concept of Spectrum, so can't interpret " a touch of

autism " any more than they understand " half pregnant " .

That's in my community, though. Yours may be different.

--Liz

[Guest guest]

Hi Bobby,

It is a difficult one. Ian likes to use the expression High Functioning Autism (HFA), simply because he feels it immediately indicates a difference, but also means that they can see that the chap before them is listening (if he can) and (if he wishes) talking, so they can interact if the choose... so many people back off from any disability, its hard for anyone to have to justify their label because its demanded of them to explain a set of behaviours.

HFA becomes a talking point to get him to explain his Aspergers. Asperger Syndrome, he says, means not a lot to a range of people, but autism catches the ear. As with anything where people arent aware, its a good opportunity to raise awareness. However, there is that assumption that it means he has mental ill-health. This leads to those horror stories of such persons being 'nutters', rather than eccentric and thinkers in a different way. More backing off.... I guess that AS is becoming more well known, which is a blessing.

So, the word 'autism' does rankle with a lot of people, because there is the assumption (especially for children) that this means they dont function at all. In education, intelligent young Aspies are being put into SEN classes with the truly (if that is the right expression) autistic people. So autism..... in respect of the definition of autism, it does seem that its almost facile to describe someone as that, if it means that they denounce your haircut as horrible, ignore you, or talk incessantly or not at all if they dont feel like it, that they dont pick up on social cues, and are cringing in social situations - does that make them in the same basket as a profoundly locked in person? This is where the spectrum counts, looking at each end of the arc.

Ian and I have used 'on the autistic spectrum', and explained too, about the Sensory Processing Disorder, OCD and ADD that make up his AS traits. This is a tactic in place, for when he chooses to explain any avoidance of a social situation (and that isnt an excuse, but to be tactful or supportive), or explain an outcome from any issues resulting from his syndrome. Such as when he makes an inappropriate remark, or he ignores people, or leaves the restaurant because he cant stand the noise. When he shuts himself away for hours when visitors come. It means he doesnt have the constant rebuttals of others or that I dont have to defend him all the time, when someone expects him to be Non-Spectrum centric. It also has the opposite effect 'there's nothing wrong with him, he is just unfeeling and rude', and then people talk loudly to him as though he cant

hear.

I guess in an ideal situation, we wouldnt have to define anyone with any label, just accept them as they are and appreciate that they are part of the jigsaw puzzle, even if they are one of the corners!. Ian and I often wonder how he would have faired in the past - not so much sensory, a quieter life, and he would probably have been living as a hermit, a hut in the woods, writing theorum and being avoided by the locals. Nothing new there, then.

Judy B, Scotland

To: aspires-relationships Sent: Sunday, 29 January 2012, 13:22Subject: In explanation of social ineptness

Most people are somewhat aware of Autism but not of Aspergers. Is it the opinion of this group that it is okay to say of my AS son, "He has a touch of Autism", when explanations are necessary? What do you do?

[Guest guest]

JUDY BARROW wrote:

>

> So, the word 'autism' does rankle with a lot of people, because there

> is the assumption (especially for children) that this means they dont

> function at all. In education, intelligent young Aspies are being put

> into SEN classes with the truly (if that is the right expression)

> autistic people.

Autism is definitely a polarizing term with some people. Even in the

Aspie community, where some people regard it as meaning 'low

functioning' and want to distinguish themselves from that group.

>

> Ian and I have used 'on the autistic spectrum'

I like the " on the autism spectrum " term myself, as it educates the

listener that these conditions manifest in a variety of ways, hopefully

discouraging stereotypes.

I very much dislike terms like " touch of autism " as it doesn't commit

and seems minimizing (to me).

Best,

~CJ

[Guest guest]

JUDY BARROW wrote:

>

> So, the word 'autism' does rankle with a lot of people, because there

> is the assumption (especially for children) that this means they dont

> function at all. In education, intelligent young Aspies are being put

> into SEN classes with the truly (if that is the right expression)

> autistic people.

Autism is definitely a polarizing term with some people. Even in the

Aspie community, where some people regard it as meaning 'low

functioning' and want to distinguish themselves from that group.

>

> Ian and I have used 'on the autistic spectrum'

I like the " on the autism spectrum " term myself, as it educates the

listener that these conditions manifest in a variety of ways, hopefully

discouraging stereotypes.

I very much dislike terms like " touch of autism " as it doesn't commit

and seems minimizing (to me).

Best,

~CJ

[Guest guest]

JUDY BARROW wrote:

>

> So, the word 'autism' does rankle with a lot of people, because there

> is the assumption (especially for children) that this means they dont

> function at all. In education, intelligent young Aspies are being put

> into SEN classes with the truly (if that is the right expression)

> autistic people.

Autism is definitely a polarizing term with some people. Even in the

Aspie community, where some people regard it as meaning 'low

functioning' and want to distinguish themselves from that group.

>

> Ian and I have used 'on the autistic spectrum'

I like the " on the autism spectrum " term myself, as it educates the

listener that these conditions manifest in a variety of ways, hopefully

discouraging stereotypes.

I very much dislike terms like " touch of autism " as it doesn't commit

and seems minimizing (to me).

Best,

~CJ

[Guest guest]

I very much dislike terms like "touch of autism" as it doesn't commit and seems minimizing (to me).

That would depend on your use of language that you associate meaning with these words.That is the beauty and high lights our differences. Words have different meaning accross cultures. I respect your term and I hope you respect others use of lanuage if they define it differently.

Just me.