A cautionary tale (humor)

[Guest guest]

Dear Jeff

Last year I upgraded from girlfriend 7.0 to wife 1.0 and noticed that the

new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space

and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the

product brochure.

In addition, wife 1. 0 installs itself into all other programs and launches

during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as poker night 10.3, W. W. F. 2.5, and three stooges 5.0

no longer run, crashing the system whenever elected. I cannot seem to keep

wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite

applications.

I am thinking about going back to girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall does not work

on this program. Can you help me?

........

Dear Sir

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a

primary misconception. Many people upgrade from girlfriend 7.0 to wife 1.0

with the idea that wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge wife 1.0 and still convert back to

girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause

girlfriend 7.0 to emulate wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible

to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once

installed. You cannot go back to girlfriend 7.0 because wife 1.0 is not

designed to do this.

Some have tried to install girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but end up with more

problems than the original system. Look in your manual under " warnings --

alimony/child support " . I recommend you keep wife 1.0 and just deal with a

situation.

Having wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire

section regarding general protection faults. You must assume all

responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their

cause. The best course of action will be enter the command " APOLOGIZE " .

In any case, avoid excessive use of the " escape " key because ultimately you

will have to give the " APOLOGIZE " command before the operating system will

return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the

blame for all general protection faults.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance

Regards

Jeff