Re: More on Sight

[Guest guest]

Oy.  I feel so sorry that you are having such a bad time.  I have found that explaining the diagnosis to people (showing the news clips or printing out articles for them to read) has helped a lot.  Then, instead of just asking someone to spit out their gum or to stp tapping or shaking (which can come off as blaming or can sound like " you disgusting pig who can't chew like a human being... " ) I can say, " I'm sorry, but your tapping is really triggering my misophonia.  Would you rather stop or would yu rather I leave? "   It is rare that a person will say I shoud leave because I have just taken responsibility for being annoyed rather than telling them they are doing something wrong AND because it is a disorder, not just my being picky.  Its like (sort of) if a person is on a diet, people will sometimes try to push them to eat a small piece of dessert, but if the person says they are a diabetic, no one pushes.  Same thing with a drink to an alcoholic, etc...

 Hope this helps someone out there... Sherl

 

My worst trigger of all is popping gum. For some reason, it's a mild trigger to

SEE anyone in my family chewing gum. Last night my 23 year old daughter was

having a talk with her mother and me. She was chewing gum. After about 10

minutes, I asked her to spit out it out. She paused, and I thought she was

swallowing it. A couple of minutes later, she started chewing again. At that

point, I told her the conversation was over, and I got up to walk out of the

room. Unfortunately, my anger got the best of me, and I was got very loud and

angry (according to ABC's " 20/20 " , I was " losing it. " )

Today has been a horrible day. My daughter has gone to live with her boyfriend

to get away from me. Everyone's mad at everyone, and I'm the bad guy, of course.

With a terminally ill brother, I have a lot of stress in my life. I'm

particularly sensitive to triggers right now. The bottom line, though, is that

sometimes life just sucks.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Sheryl. I guess I need to find a Dr. Phil board.

 

Oy.  I feel so sorry that you are having such a bad

time.  I have found that explaining the diagnosis to

people (showing the news clips or printing out articles

for them to read) has helped a lot.  Then, instead of just

asking someone to spit out their gum or to stp tapping or

shaking (which can come off as blaming or can sound like

"you disgusting pig who can't chew like a human being...")

I can say, "I'm sorry, but your tapping is really

triggering my misophonia.  Would you rather stop or would

yu rather I leave?"  It is rare that a person will say I

shoud leave because I have just taken responsibility for

being annoyed rather than telling them they are doing

something wrong AND because it is a disorder, not just my

being picky.  Its like (sort of) if a person is on a diet,

people will sometimes try to push them to eat a small

piece of dessert, but if the person says they are a

diabetic, no one pushes.  Same thing with a drink to an

alcoholic, etc...

 

Hope this helps someone out there...

Sherl

On Mon, Jul 2, 2012 at 9:54 PM,

Mike Sensitive

wrote:

 

My worst trigger of all is popping gum. For

some reason, it's a mild trigger to

SEE anyone in my family chewing gum. Last

night my 23 year old daughter was

having a talk with her mother and me. She was

chewing gum. After about 10

minutes, I asked her to spit out it out. She

paused, and I thought she was

swallowing it. A couple of minutes later, she

started chewing again. At that

point, I told her the conversation was over,

and I got up to walk out of the

room. Unfortunately, my anger got the best of

me, and I was got very loud and

angry (according to ABC's "20/20", I was

"losing it.")

Today has been a horrible day. My daughter has

gone to live with her boyfriend

to get away from me. Everyone's mad at

everyone, and I'm the bad guy, of course.

With a terminally ill brother, I have a lot of

stress in my life. I'm

particularly sensitive to triggers right now.

The bottom line, though, is that

sometimes life just sucks.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

Sheryl, your suggestions are simply wonderful. You are saying " if you don't stop

the trigger I must leave " only in a delicate and unobjectionable way.

I love the (sort of) diabetic comparison. Another example is an allergy, because

nobody would force a food on someone who says they are allergic.

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > My worst trigger of all is popping gum. For some reason, it's a mild

> > trigger to

> > SEE anyone in my family chewing gum. Last night my 23 year old daughter was

> > having a talk with her mother and me. She was chewing gum. After about 10

> > minutes, I asked her to spit out it out. She paused, and I thought she was

> > swallowing it. A couple of minutes later, she started chewing again. At

> > that

> > point, I told her the conversation was over, and I got up to walk out of

> > the

> > room. Unfortunately, my anger got the best of me, and I was got very loud

> > and

> > angry (according to ABC's " 20/20 " , I was " losing it. " )

> >

> > Today has been a horrible day. My daughter has gone to live with her

> > boyfriend

> > to get away from me. Everyone's mad at everyone, and I'm the bad guy, of

> > course.

> > With a terminally ill brother, I have a lot of stress in my life. I'm

> > particularly sensitive to triggers right now. The bottom line, though, is

> > that

> > sometimes life just sucks.

> >

> > Thanks for letting me vent.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Great idea, I'll be looking for this info and printing several copies. Thanks for the idea. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Monday, July 2, 2012 11:15 PM Subject: Re: More on Sight

Oy. I feel so sorry that you are having such a bad time. I have found that explaining the diagnosis to people (showing the news clips or printing out articles for them to read) has helped a lot. Then, instead of just asking someone to spit out their gum or to stp tapping or shaking (which can come off as blaming or can sound like "you disgusting pig who can't chew like a human being...") I can say, "I'm sorry, but your tapping is really triggering my misophonia. Would you rather stop or would yu rather I leave?" It is rare that a person will say I shoud leave because I have just taken responsibility for being annoyed rather than telling them they are doing something wrong AND because it is a disorder, not just my being picky. Its like (sort of) if a person is on a diet, people will sometimes try to push them to eat a small piece of dessert, but if the person says they are a diabetic, no one pushes.

Same thing with a drink to an alcoholic, etc...

Hope this helps someone out there... Sherl

My worst trigger of all is popping gum. For some reason, it's a mild trigger to

SEE anyone in my family chewing gum. Last night my 23 year old daughter was

having a talk with her mother and me. She was chewing gum. After about 10

minutes, I asked her to spit out it out. She paused, and I thought she was

swallowing it. A couple of minutes later, she started chewing again. At that

point, I told her the conversation was over, and I got up to walk out of the

room. Unfortunately, my anger got the best of me, and I was got very loud and

angry (according to ABC's "20/20", I was "losing it.")

Today has been a horrible day. My daughter has gone to live with her boyfriend

to get away from me. Everyone's mad at everyone, and I'm the bad guy, of course.

With a terminally ill brother, I have a lot of stress in my life. I'm

particularly sensitive to triggers right now. The bottom line, though, is that

sometimes life just sucks.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

Gum is my worst trigger as well. I have as well lost it with immediate family

members and been in your exact position. The anticipation of being around them

when you know it will occur and you try to brace yourself but whatever you do

doesn't work. It seem like the more polite you are in defering or preventing

the trigger the more you turn out to be the fly in the punch bowl. People look

at you like you have just asked them to remove their left ear, when all you have

done is make a simple request to try and save your own sanity.

>

> My worst trigger of all is popping gum. For some reason, it's a mild trigger

to

> SEE anyone in my family chewing gum. Last night my 23 year old daughter was

> having a talk with her mother and me. She was chewing gum. After about 10

> minutes, I asked her to spit out it out. She paused, and I thought she was

> swallowing it. A couple of minutes later, she started chewing again. At that

> point, I told her the conversation was over, and I got up to walk out of the

> room. Unfortunately, my anger got the best of me, and I was got very loud and

> angry (according to ABC's " 20/20 " , I was " losing it. " )

>

> Today has been a horrible day. My daughter has gone to live with her boyfriend

> to get away from me. Everyone's mad at everyone, and I'm the bad guy, of

course.

> With a terminally ill brother, I have a lot of stress in my life. I'm

> particularly sensitive to triggers right now. The bottom line, though, is that

> sometimes life just sucks.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent.

>

[Guest guest]

I don't endorse littering. I would prefer that people not spit out their gum on

a public roadway, but rather wrap it in a scrap of paper and dispose of it

properly.

I think the question of whether misophonics do or don't allow their kids to chew

gum around them is a fascinating one. It seems relatively effortless for a kid

not to chew gum, while making a massive difference to the misophonic. The

benefit from such a minor effort is vast, so that seems a no-brainer, at least

in my book.

It also seems fairly easy for the parents not to chew gum. That way, there is no

problem with someone " getting " to chew gum while someone else doesn't " get " to.

But I suspect this is as much a family dynamic issue as a miso issue. Margaret,

it seems like you have a very mild case.

> >

> > My worst trigger of all is popping gum. For some reason, it's a mild trigger

to

> > SEE anyone in my family chewing gum. Last night my 23 year old daughter was

> > having a talk with her mother and me. She was chewing gum. After about 10

> > minutes, I asked her to spit out it out. She paused, and I thought she was

> > swallowing it. A couple of minutes later, she started chewing again. At that

> > point, I told her the conversation was over, and I got up to walk out of the

> > room. Unfortunately, my anger got the best of me, and I was got very loud

and

> > angry (according to ABC's " 20/20 " , I was " losing it. " )

> >

> > Today has been a horrible day. My daughter has gone to live with her

boyfriend

> > to get away from me. Everyone's mad at everyone, and I'm the bad guy, of

course.

> > With a terminally ill brother, I have a lot of stress in my life. I'm

> > particularly sensitive to triggers right now. The bottom line, though, is

that

> > sometimes life just sucks.

> >

> > Thanks for letting me vent.

> >

>