Guest guest Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 After over 20 years of experience with various chronic health problems, I am of the belief that there is no such thing as quitting (unless you mean suicide) whether you know how to pamper yourself or not. Back in the 90s I used to say to myself " I don't know if I can take much more of this " and similar things but I learned that I can take whatever is dished out to me because I simply have no choice. None whatsoever. And neither does anyone else. I have found that thinking such things only makes me feel much worse. And while someone else's pain does not invalidate my own pain, I do, when I am feeling sorry for myself, think of how much worse is the load that many others must carry. And I hear my Dad, who has been gone 15 years, tell me what he said to me so many times as I was growing up " And when did I ever tell you that life is fair? " I am thankful to have all of my limbs, that both of my sons grew to adulthood without any life-threatening diseases or life-destroying mistakes, that I have a husband who loves and supports me, that I have all of my basic needs met and anything beyond that doesn't really matter, and that I am still breathing today. If you want to feel better, count your blessings instead of your sorrows, listen to upbeat music or watch a funny movie, even try simply forcing a smile. That isn't pampering, it is just being pragmatic and sensible. I will also relate one of the most important and life changing realizations of my life. At one of the lowest points for me, when I had to permanently quit working (I had worked part-time at home as I was able for many years) and was unable to get off the couch for a couple of years, I despaired and felt worthless. But I eventually thought about the fact that if you ask people who made the biggest difference in their life, they almost always respond with the story of a person who believed in them, listened to them, supported them and/or taught them and NONE OF THOSE THINGS REQUIRE PHYSICAL HEALTH. I may not be able to do work for others but I can listen, love and support them. I do my best to do that and to be a pleasant person to be around with a cheerful, good-humored attitude. I tell my husband or sons my status of the day if they need to know but briefly and without embellishment and we go on to other things. Do I sometimes " lose it " , whine or become irritable? Sure, but it is relatively rare, lasts a short time and those around me know that so they don't get upset and simply give me some space until I am past it. Getting past it is almost always a matter of accepting that I don't have any choice, can't change the situation, and only have control over how I respond to it. These health problems are no fun but don't let them make your life worse than it needs to be. > > Hi everyone. Hope you are having an easier day than some days. This isnt such a great day 4 me at the moment. Im in pain., drained and having trouble seeing the light @ the end of the tunnel. The 'pamper' part of me feels like quitting but i've never done that before and think i don't know how to pamper myself. Hope there will be rays of light in the day for all of you. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 2, 2012 Report Share Posted July 2, 2012 Well said, Jo----we ALL have those dark days...and it is nice to be able to post here and know that people understand.... Lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 4, 2012 Report Share Posted July 4, 2012 Some things get lost on this forum/medium. So people should try to consider that in their responses. Just wanted to mention Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN)as a cheap partial treatment for some. If you are sensitive to meds, you might not be able to do this med. Also, if you could not go off of opiates, then you would not be able to take this med. Just wanted to make people aware of it, in case their are still some. Lots with Fibro have had success with it, and some with CFS. GG PS Hope people have a " decent " 4th of July! > > Jo, > > I have had some time to think about your post and have realized something. You reacted to my post as though it came from someone who was not chronically ill. I have no doubt you have gotten the " buck up and you'll feel better " message from healthies around you, as all of us have, and I think most of us react the way that you did to me when it happens to us. But I am not a heathy. And you read what I wrote without remembering that. > > I did lose my siblings. I also lost a marriage to my health problems in 2001 and instantly went from a custom-built home to an old trailer in a trailer park with my 15 yo sons and got to pay $450 a month Cobra payments for the health insurance I had through my husband. Within 2 years my life savings were gone. > > If you had read my message without getting angry, you would realize that I talked about losing my work (in 2005) and not being able to get off the couch for 2 years. In that section I told what was the most life-saving insight I learned from that experience which is the greatest gift I can give to someone else who has lost the ability to work. That you can be useful to others by listening to them and supporting them and even have a greater impact than if you were able-bodied has kept me going more times than I can count. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 4, 2012 Report Share Posted July 4, 2012 Some things get lost on this forum/medium. So people should try to consider that in their responses. Just wanted to mention Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN)as a cheap partial treatment for some. If you are sensitive to meds, you might not be able to do this med. Also, if you could not go off of opiates, then you would not be able to take this med. Just wanted to make people aware of it, in case their are still some. Lots with Fibro have had success with it, and some with CFS. GG PS Hope people have a " decent " 4th of July! > > Jo, > > I have had some time to think about your post and have realized something. You reacted to my post as though it came from someone who was not chronically ill. I have no doubt you have gotten the " buck up and you'll feel better " message from healthies around you, as all of us have, and I think most of us react the way that you did to me when it happens to us. But I am not a heathy. And you read what I wrote without remembering that. > > I did lose my siblings. I also lost a marriage to my health problems in 2001 and instantly went from a custom-built home to an old trailer in a trailer park with my 15 yo sons and got to pay $450 a month Cobra payments for the health insurance I had through my husband. Within 2 years my life savings were gone. > > If you had read my message without getting angry, you would realize that I talked about losing my work (in 2005) and not being able to get off the couch for 2 years. In that section I told what was the most life-saving insight I learned from that experience which is the greatest gift I can give to someone else who has lost the ability to work. That you can be useful to others by listening to them and supporting them and even have a greater impact than if you were able-bodied has kept me going more times than I can count. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 4, 2012 Report Share Posted July 4, 2012 Some things get lost on this forum/medium. So people should try to consider that in their responses. Just wanted to mention Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN)as a cheap partial treatment for some. If you are sensitive to meds, you might not be able to do this med. Also, if you could not go off of opiates, then you would not be able to take this med. Just wanted to make people aware of it, in case their are still some. Lots with Fibro have had success with it, and some with CFS. GG PS Hope people have a " decent " 4th of July! > > Jo, > > I have had some time to think about your post and have realized something. You reacted to my post as though it came from someone who was not chronically ill. I have no doubt you have gotten the " buck up and you'll feel better " message from healthies around you, as all of us have, and I think most of us react the way that you did to me when it happens to us. But I am not a heathy. And you read what I wrote without remembering that. > > I did lose my siblings. I also lost a marriage to my health problems in 2001 and instantly went from a custom-built home to an old trailer in a trailer park with my 15 yo sons and got to pay $450 a month Cobra payments for the health insurance I had through my husband. Within 2 years my life savings were gone. > > If you had read my message without getting angry, you would realize that I talked about losing my work (in 2005) and not being able to get off the couch for 2 years. In that section I told what was the most life-saving insight I learned from that experience which is the greatest gift I can give to someone else who has lost the ability to work. That you can be useful to others by listening to them and supporting them and even have a greater impact than if you were able-bodied has kept me going more times than I can count. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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