Update on Mom

[Guest guest]

Well, things continue as normal...as we redefine normal daily.

My son and I took groceries to Mom and Dad yesterday afternoon, and

Mom was sitting in her recliner. She was relatively alert and

conversant, but it was showtime, I guess. In about 5 minutes of

talking to her and to Dad, I noticed the staring off into the

distance and a smile on her face. She then leaned toward me and

took my hand, and she said, " Jan, if you go to Glory Land tonight,

will you take me with you? " I told her I didn't plan to go to Glory

Land last night, as I had too many things to do. She looked very

disappointed, and shut down again.

She's insisting on wearing all her jewelry and a white dress every

day. She wants to be ready to go, and thinks she has to be dressed

appropriately.

I guess if I can't go to Glory Land in a pair of blue jeans and a t-

shirt, I'm going to be denied admittance...*LOL*

Her caretaking is wearing on Dad so badly. He's going to be 85 years

old in January, and still is picking her up and putting her in a

wheelchair, in her recliner, in her hospital bed in the living room,

and in their bed. They are still sleeping together because there is

no one there during the nighttime. She outweighs him by at least 20

pounds, and she can't do a thing to assist. He feels that his time

on earth is to be spent taking care of her...that's his mission to

perform.

I pray for him and for her without ceasing. I know that when she

takes her final ride, Dad will follow because he will just give up.

I had a dream the other night that was both disturbing and at the

same time was reassuring. I dreamed that Mom had died, and we were

all in the house. I stepped out of the room for a minute, and when I

went back in, she was gone. I asked where she was, and my sister

said " she's outside playing with the grandkids. " I looked out, and

there she was...young and vibrant and beautiful. I looked around and

realized that my brother with the brain tumor was not there. I asked

where he was, and they said, " he's out in the garage working on his

Volkswagen. " I was so confused, and I went out into the garage, and

he was wearing his blue jeans and a t-shirt and laughing and joking

and looked like he did so long ago...so healthy and happy. I

realized that I was being told that although they were gone, they

were still with us. I'm not ready to lose either one of them, but

I'm not allowed to pick and choose the time, am I?

[Guest guest]

How I can relate Gladys. Two years for me since Mom is gone and I was caught

off guard

recently. I decided it was time to unpack pictures and get a sense of which

ones we want

to hang in our new home and where. I unwrapped a beautiful framed photo of Mom

with

her smiling an easy smile, looking youthful and vibrant. It was taken during an

early phase

of her journey and reminded me of who she was and who she could have been

without

Lewy. I hadn't seen the picture for a year. The difference in her then and at

the end had

blurred a bit in my mind. Yes, the tears came and I didn't fight them.

Thankfully I was at

home and able to let myself have the cry I needed. The pain lessens but remains.

>

> Oh, this post brought me to beautiful sad tears. The love your father is

> for your mother is a love we can all only dream of having and your dream was

> so beautiful!

>

> Right now I'm sitting in Panera Bread (free Wi Fi) A few minutes ago, I

> embarrassed myself totally by bursting into tears. At the next table sat an

> older woman with a cane and that glossed over staring into space look. A

> younger woman sat down with her and said " I have your soup, Mom " I just

> started to cry because I realized I have no one to call " Mom " anymore and

> because I miss my real Mom and my lewy Mom. This is so much harder than I

> thought it would be.

>

> Gladys

>

> -- Update on Mom

>

> Well, things continue as normal...as we redefine normal daily.

>

> My son and I took groceries to Mom and Dad yesterday afternoon, and

> Mom was sitting in her recliner. She was relatively alert and

> conversant, but it was showtime, I guess. In about 5 minutes of

> talking to her and to Dad, I noticed the staring off into the

> distance and a smile on her face. She then leaned toward me and

> took my hand, and she said, " Jan, if you go to Glory Land tonight,

> will you take me with you? " I told her I didn't plan to go to Glory

> Land last night, as I had too many things to do. She looked very

> disappointed, and shut down again.

>

> She's insisting on wearing all her jewelry and a white dress every

> day. She wants to be ready to go, and thinks she has to be dressed

> appropriately.

>

> I guess if I can't go to Glory Land in a pair of blue jeans and a t-

> shirt, I'm going to be denied admittance...*LOL*

>

> Her caretaking is wearing on Dad so badly. He's going to be 85 years

> old in January, and still is picking her up and putting her in a

> wheelchair, in her recliner, in her hospital bed in the living room,

> and in their bed. They are still sleeping together because there is

> no one there during the nighttime. She outweighs him by at least 20

> pounds, and she can't do a thing to assist. He feels that his time

> on earth is to be spent taking care of her...that's his mission to

> perform.

>

> I pray for him and for her without ceasing. I know that when she

> takes her final ride, Dad will follow because he will just give up.

>

> I had a dream the other night that was both disturbing and at the

> same time was reassuring. I dreamed that Mom had died, and we were

> all in the house. I stepped out of the room for a minute, and when I

> went back in, she was gone. I asked where she was, and my sister

> said " she's outside playing with the grandkids. " I looked out, and

> there she was...young and vibrant and beautiful. I looked around and

> realized that my brother with the brain tumor was not there. I asked

> where he was, and they said, " he's out in the garage working on his

> Volkswagen. " I was so confused, and I went out into the garage, and

> he was wearing his blue jeans and a t-shirt and laughing and joking

> and looked like he did so long ago...so healthy and happy. I

> realized that I was being told that although they were gone, they

> were still with us. I'm not ready to lose either one of them, but

> I'm not allowed to pick and choose the time, am I?

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>